How to Avoid Huge Ships

A few days ago I was invited to a big party by people I just recently met. Not really knowing anyone there I was standing by the drinks for a while, trying to get a feel of the crowd. When I finally decided to step towards a group of interesting looking folks they quickly scattered away with a frightened look on their faces. At first I felt hurt. Was it my cologne? Did my reputation precede me again? ..It was far worse.. I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around, I was standing face to face with a huge ship that had sneaked up on me. I panicked, but I didn't have any idea what to do, so I just stood there, frozen. The ship looked at me for a while and then just started yapping on and on about mussels and seagulls and whatnot. I couldn't get a word in edgewise, let alone change the subject. To my horror I was stuck for the entire evening with this huge ship that everyone else avoided so easily. Apparently I was the only one in the room that didn't know how to do that. When in the end of the evening it started to hint it needed her "sinking fixed" and poked me while saying it was feeling "ship horney" and wanted to test my "bow thruster" I knew I had to run for my life. I barely escaped in one piece, so the first thing I did when I was safe at home was order this book. Never again will I be the only one at the party not knowing how to avoid these horrible huge ships, they're lousy conversationalists.