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When it is actually YOU and not her

post #1 of 17
12/18/10 at 7:41am
Thread Starter 
I know its cliche, but I actually feel like its ME and not HER

Short story... dated > year. Going great, but its so great i actually feel guilty. She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen. I know its not fair to lead her on either....

I really feel bad about the cold hearted dump for two reason;

A) Its the christmas season
B) I just met her entire extended family, so they think I might be the one

am I a pussy? In this delicate holiday season, how best should I proceed (NOTE :: She IS a teacher.. so better now than when school is in session...for the kids, and her personal sanity)
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post #2 of 17
12/18/10 at 7:44am
You did the right thing. You didn't lead her on. You did her a favor, despite the pain she's experiencing and the guilt you're feeling. It would have been far worse had you led her on for a few more years. You're not ready to get married yet. It's good you know that. You'll know when the time is right. No rush.
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post #3 of 17
12/18/10 at 9:16am
I respect your candidness with her - you did the right thing. It's way too easy to keep a relationship going when it should have ended months earlier. I think you ought to be the one giving the rest of us advice!
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post #4 of 17
12/18/10 at 9:19am
why not just kinda stay close so you can further boan?
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post #5 of 17
12/18/10 at 4:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davidko19 View Post
I know its cliche, but I actually feel like its ME and not HER

Short story... dated > year. Going great, but its so great i actually feel guilty. She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen. I know its not fair to lead her on either....

I really feel bad about the cold hearted dump for two reason;

A) Its the christmas season
B) I just met her entire extended family, so they think I might be the one

am I a pussy? In this delicate holiday season, how best should I proceed (NOTE :: She IS a teacher.. so better now than when school is in session...for the kids, and her personal sanity)

Wait til right after xmas. So she has the new year for a fresh start. If she's hot and puts out though, i'd strongly consider locking her down...
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post #6 of 17
12/18/10 at 9:51pm
Why don't you want marriage/kids/life with her?
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post #7 of 17
12/19/10 at 12:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Contingency Plan View Post
Why don't you want marriage/kids/life with her?

In the long run, she'll appreciate your efforts for not wasting her time.
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post #8 of 17
12/19/10 at 12:37am
Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

Good luck, bro.
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post #9 of 17
12/19/10 at 2:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by TGPlastic View Post
Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

Good luck, bro.
Maybe a bit crass but...there is good stuff in this post
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post #10 of 17
12/19/10 at 6:40am
age?
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post #11 of 17
12/19/10 at 7:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davidko19 View Post
I know its cliche, but I actually feel like its ME and not HER

Short story... dated > year. Going great, but its so great i actually feel guilty. She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen. I know its not fair to lead her on either....

I really feel bad about the cold hearted dump for two reason;

A) Its the christmas season
B) I just met her entire extended family, so they think I might be the one

am I a pussy? In this delicate holiday season, how best should I proceed (NOTE :: She IS a teacher.. so better now than when school is in session...for the kids, and her personal sanity)

Right girl, wrong time? Fear of commitment? The thinking that thinking about breaking up is a reason in and of itself to break up?
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post #12 of 17
12/19/10 at 12:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TGPlastic View Post
Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

Good luck, bro.

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post #13 of 17
12/19/10 at 9:50pm
Try to take a deeper look. All to many times this happens when dude's not ready, she is, and he regrets it big time later. Thus spawned Facebook.
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post #14 of 17
12/20/10 at 1:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TGPlastic View Post
Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

Good luck, bro.

Best post I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh, guy.
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post #15 of 17
12/20/10 at 2:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TGPlastic View Post
Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

Good luck, bro.

I got a boner from this post
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