Giving 'thanks' for denim...

changed · Dec 15, 2010

Considering that it is the holiday season, I looked down at my jeans tonight and thought, "Wow, you've done a lot for me this year." I wore you to England, Germany, and the Czech Republic; I wore you when I crawled 100 yards on my stomach before shooting that woodchuck clean through the throat with a .223 rifle; I wore you the night I got so drunk I vomited, then made-out with that 10 at our house-party during the snow-storm; I ever wore you around my ankles while I jerked off with my own tears as lubrication after not ******* that 10 after our house-party.

Really, raw-denim is an amazing thing. Having not washed these jeans for over a year, I'm amazed at how fresh they smell, and look. In all, I'd just like to say: thank you, denim, for all that you do.

And happy holidays to all you, too.

macuser3of5 · Dec 15, 2010

wash your dirty *** stained pants ffs

Mandrake9072 · Dec 15, 2010

Originally Posted by changed

I ever wore you around my ankles while I jerked off with my own tears as lubrication after not ******* that 10 after our house-party.

I'm actually getting ready to retire my beloved New Standards this holiday season.

Treated me so well past three years. Unfortunately I decided to start pumping iron, and have packed on some weight so I'm due for a new pair. Otherwise I could easily see another two years of daily wear on these.

Makeshift_Robot · Dec 16, 2010

Why did you shoot a woodchuck?

ConcernedParent · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by Makeshift_Robot

Why did you shoot a woodchuck?

Hunting is the only for man to satiate his primal urges.

nahneun · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by ConcernedParent

Hunting is the only for man to satiate his primal urges.

Or you know...******* a really hot chick...

Harold falcon · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by changed

I wore you when I crawled 100 yards on my stomach before shooting that woodchuck clean through the throat with a .223 rifle;

That calibre is much too large to shoot a woodchuck. The damn thing probably disintegrated after being shot. .22 magnum, tops. And you could easily get by with a air pistol. Also, shooting in the throat is not the preferred target, aim for head or heart of a woodchuck.

changed · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by harvey_birdman

That calibre is much too large to shoot a woodchuck. The damn thing probably disintegrated after being shot. .22 magnum, tops. And you could easily get by with a air pistol. Also, shooting in the throat is not the preferred target, aim for head or heart of a woodchuck.
I was at the bottom of a field that steadily rose; the woodchuck was right at the top of the field. He was doing one of those, "look at me, I'm a woodchuck" stand-up things, just thumbing his nose at me. My dad (his .223) hadn't shot the thing in a while (no sight-in), so I aimed high, thinking that the incline would result in a slightly lower hit. I aimed for the woodchuck's forehead and it hit him right in the throat. The bullet went all the way through him, but left his head attached. This shot was made from maybe 200 yards, so a .223 was necessary.

Makeshift_Robot · Dec 16, 2010

Can you eat it? Also to harvey birdman: why does the extra .003 (diameter? circumference?) matter.

Real questions. I have relatives who hunt but the activity is a total cipher to me.

Harold falcon · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by changed

I was at the bottom of a field that steadily rose; the woodchuck was right at the top of the field. He was doing one of those, "look at me, I'm a woodchuck" stand-up things, just thumbing his nose at me. My dad (his .223) hadn't shot the thing in a while (no sight-in), so I aimed high, thinking that the incline would result in a slightly lower hit. I aimed for the woodchuck's forehead and it hit him right in the throat. The bullet went all the way through him, but left his head attached. This shot was made from maybe 200 yards, so a .223 was necessary.

Forget what I said, you were entirely justified. When those sons of bitches mock us we have to strike back, hard. Jay oh be well dee oh en ee.

Originally Posted by Makeshift_Robot

Can you eat it? Also to harvey birdman: why does the extra .003 (diameter? circumference?) matter. Real questions. I have relatives who hunt but the activity is a total cipher to me.

Comparison of different common ammunition sizes. Left to right: .22 LR hollow point, 9mm Parabellum hollow point, .45, .223 PMC bronze 55 grain FMG Boat Tail, 30-06 American Eagle Federal 150 g FMG Boat Tail, 12-gauge shotshell (00 Buckshot), and lip gloss for size comparison.

The .223 is very similar to the 5.56, which is also used to kill human beings.

changed · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by Makeshift_Robot

Can you eat it?

Hell no; do you think I'm a heathen?

Makeshift_Robot · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by changed

Hell no; do you think I'm a heathen?

My grandfather worked in a sawmill and hunted in his spare time; once, staying at his house for a holiday when I was younger, I ate some barbecued squirrel. It was pretty good. I've also eaten squid, which was equally enjoyable. I'm pretty foggy on which meats are popular to eat vs. which meats will get you shunned.

Makeshift_Robot · Dec 16, 2010

Also thanks Harvey Birdman, that was informative and pretty surprising. What does the decimal figure stand for though?

Harold falcon · Dec 16, 2010

Originally Posted by Makeshift_Robot

Also thanks Harvey Birdman, that was informative and pretty surprising. What does the decimal figure stand for though?
It's the diameter (in inches or millimeters) of the barrel of the firearm the bullet is fired from. If you look, the .22 and the .223 have similar diameters (width of the bullet) but obviously the length of the bullet, as well the shape, weight, and amount of gunpowder in the cartridge are very very different. The .223 (two-two-three) and the 30-06 (thirty-aught-six) are rifle rounds. The 9mm and .45 are pistol rounds. The .22 is almost exclusively a small pistol/rifle round used for target practice or small varmints such as woodchucks.

Makeshift_Robot · Dec 16, 2010

Thanks dogg, I will try to quietly display that knowledge at Christmas this year. Assert my masculine identity, etc.

Giving 'thanks' for denim...

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