Contacting a girl for the first time

EMY · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by Rambo

I've never understood this rule bullshit. If I go through all the effort of flirting with you, complementing you, and asking you for your phone number, why the hell am I going to wait around to get in your pants?

+1

if anything, she might think you were just playing w/ her if you wait too long.

TyCooN · Dec 11, 2010

Depends on how much you talked with each other. Waiting is stupid if you quickly got the number.

Sanguis Mortuum · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by JMRouse

Recently, I asked a few of my close females friends what their opinion of it was.

You might want to also consider the possibility that what women say and what women actually do are not necessarily the same thing.

Dakota rube · Dec 11, 2010

If these fool-proof "rules" work so well, why are so many guys always having to use them?

Jr Mouse · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by Huntsman

+1. I hate when men are like, what do women want? As if women acted like a homogeneous block. They're like, people.

This is true. I know I stated that I follow this "rule" myself, but also dislike it when people try to give general advice on how to interact with women. Each girl is different. What one likes, another may find a turn off.

Originally Posted by Sanguis Mortuum

You might want to also consider the possibility that what women say and what women actually do are not necessarily the same thing.

This occurred to me too after the conversations I had with them on the subject.

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

If these fool-proof "rules" work so well, why are so many guys always having to use them?

Maybe guys use them because they work well? Waiting a day or two has always worked well for me so it became a habit. This is really the only "rule" I follow so I can't speak for any of the others. Even then I am reconsidering the need for it.

Oski · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by mharwitt

if you have to ask you're pathetically Beta. hell, you probably even laugh on the first date.

willpower · Dec 11, 2010

Those girls are setting you up. It's a trap. Chicks have no idea what they want, never have.

word · Dec 11, 2010

As far as I'm concerned calling soon is a move done out of interest, not desperation. Besides if you got their number in the first place you probably didn't come off as desperate anyways. Otherwise you never would have gotten it.

Usually what I do is text the following morning asking what a good time would be to call that day and make it happen. If it was early in the day when I got the number and I'm not busy I'll try to talk that evening. Adding them on facebook helps too because I have trouble remembering names and faces for #s I get.

landshark · Dec 11, 2010

I usually wait a few days. If I met them on the weekend, I won't call until the middle of the following week. I used to not have a rule really and call the next day or the same weekend and it never really worked out. It comes across as desperate and as if you have nothing to do. Obviously, if a girl says, "call me tomorrow" it would be okay and I have had that happen. Otherwise, make them wait. They shouldn't be your priority anyways.

Jr Mouse · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by word

As far as I'm concerned calling soon is a move done out of interest, not desperation. Besides if you got their number in the first place you probably didn't come off as desperate anyways. Otherwise you never would have gotten it.

Usually what I do is text the following morning asking what a good time would be to call that day and make it happen. If it was early in the day when I got the number and I'm not busy I'll try to talk that evening. Adding them on facebook helps too because I have trouble remembering names and faces for #s I get.

I usually don't even bother with a phone call. Text them to say hi and when I hear back I ask them if they want to do lunch or something.

I never do the FB request before we have gone out a few times. That just seems like a bad idea to me.

ConcernedParent · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by Piobaire

So you're saying dictures also?

It was kind of the subtle, implied joke.

sartorialism · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by Huntsman

+1. I hate when men are like, what do women want? As if women acted like a homogeneous block. They're like, people.

Originally Posted by sartorialism

Should I put my neck out on this one?

Originally Posted by mharwitt

if you have to ask you're pathetically Beta. hell, you probably even laugh on the first date.

Ahh, re-read, pause and think.

word · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by JMRouse

I usually don't even bother with a phone call. Text them to say hi and when I hear back I ask them if they want to do lunch or something.

I never do the FB request before we have gone out a few times. That just seems like a bad idea to me.

Hm, I've not had trouble with it. But most of the women I meet are through friends when we're hanging out. You're right though, probably not a great idea for a stranger. But I don't really ask out strangers unless they make a damn good impression on me right away, which is never.

Jr Mouse · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by word

Hm, I've not had trouble with it. But most of the women I meet are through friends when we're hanging out. You're right though, probably not a great idea for a stranger. But I don't really ask out strangers unless they make a damn good impression on me right away, which is never.

Yeah if it's a friend of a friend then it's not a big deal. I just find there is too much crap on my FB profile to be sharing with someone I just met. Would rather leave a little mystery to myself and keep a little to her too.

kwilkinson · Dec 11, 2010

Originally Posted by JMRouse

I usually don't even bother with a phone call. Text them to say hi and when I hear back I ask them if they want to do lunch or something.

I never do the FB request before we have gone out a few times. That just seems like a bad idea to me.

You text women to ask them out on your first date?

Srsly? I thought you were an adult. Like 30 years old. That's like.... teenager ****.

Contacting a girl for the first time

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