Girlfriend's Crazy Ex-Boyfriend - what to do?

Given the circumstances ... I'd remove myself as far as possible from all involved ... including the girl.

You sound like a codependent teenager who wants the thrill of saving a girl who's "really worth it" and "been through some hard times". Do whatever you want and maybe some day you'll grow up.

Originally Posted by Incman

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Not quite sure what you mean by it's his place. They've been splitting the rent for the 2 or so years they've lived together, and it's only been the past couple months that his dad's been paying, because her ex couldn't come up with his share. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I'm 19, she's 21. He's 26. He was 21 dating and manipulating a 16 year old.

I am treading as carefully as I can, but I've never been this sure about anything or anyone, so it's not something I want to (or am even able to) throw away just like that.

My criticism aside, the sincerity of your love is quite touching. This feels like the beginning of a classic (in the Shakespeare sense) tragic romance...

Originally Posted by Teacher

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Get a hold of the note and get a restraining order. Don't be a tough guy. Just because he hasn't been violent before doesn't mean there won't be a first time.

I talked to my gf this morning, and told her to take the note with her when she went to work, so I will have it tonight when she comes over, and will be filing a police report ASAP. How does it work to get a restraining order, do I just ask when filing the report, or does it involve lawyers and such? And I am certainly not a tough guy in the sense of talking **** back and forth, I would never do that.

you need to dump her. his craziness aside, she still lives with him and it's too soon after too long of a relationship for anything good to come of this. think about why a girl would stay with a guy like that for so long. this is "don't" dating 101.

Originally Posted by RSS

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Given the circumstances ... I'd remove myself as far as possible from all involved ... including the girl.

Much easier said than done.

Originally Posted by Joenobody0

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You sound like a codependent teenager who wants the thrill of saving a girl who's "really worth it" and "been through some hard times". Do whatever you want and maybe some day you'll grow up.

Not even close.

Originally Posted by sartorialism

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My criticism aside, the sincerity of your love is quite touching. This feels like the beginning of a classic (in the Shakespeare sense) tragic romance...

Not sure if you're just being facetious, but I'm as sincere as they come.

Originally Posted by Teacher

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Get a hold of the note and get a restraining order. Don't be a tough guy. Just because he hasn't been violent before doesn't mean there won't be a first time.
This is probably the best course of action, but a restraining order doesn't come with a 24/7 police escort. And you never know, the restraining order might enrage this guy further.

I endorse the recommendations to tread carefully. Honestly, in a few years, you'll probably look back on this situation and say, "Man, I can't believe I thought I was in love with that woman with the crazy ex."

PM the member known as GQGeek. He had a similar situation (well, he wasn't actually ********** with the girl) and I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly, but my memory can be hazy these days.

Originally Posted by iammatt

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PM the member known as GQGeek. He had a similar situation (well, he wasn't actually ********** with the girl) and I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly, but my memory can be hazy these days.

Originally Posted by mharwitt

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you need to dump her. his craziness aside, she still lives with him and it's too soon after too long of a relationship for anything good to come of this. think about why a girl would stay with a guy like that for so long. this is "don't" dating 101.

While my logical side pretty much agrees with you, it has progressed past that point and I can't just up and leave.

Anyways, this thread wasn't asking for relationship advice, as I'm well aware that common sense and logic should dictate that I GTFO. However, as mentioned, I'm in love with this girl, and I know we'll be together for a long time. Perhaps it's the dumb teenager in me (inb4 someone bolds and +1's that), but I'm willing to put up with the baggage because she's more than worth it.

I created this thread to ask for advice as to what I should do in the case her boyfriend tries to confront/attack me at work.

Originally Posted by iammatt

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PM the member known as GQGeek. He had a similar situation (well, he wasn't actually ********** with the girl) and I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly, but my memory can be hazy these days.

Originally Posted by Incman

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I talked to my gf this morning, and told her to take the note with her when she went to work, so I will have it tonight when she comes over, and will be filing a police report ASAP. How does it work to get a restraining order, do I just ask when filing the report, or does it involve lawyers and such? And I am certainly not a tough guy in the sense of talking **** back and forth, I would never do that.

I'm not sure about where you live, but temporary restraining orders are issued by the police (usually, at least) and aren't really that hard to get (again, usually). No lawyers are needed. Beyond that, I'm not sure. And of course, Ambulance Chaser is right: it's not a guarantee of protection. Still, if he violates it in any way, he can get into trouble, a restraining order is better than not having one.

Originally Posted by Incman

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Not sure if you're just being facetious, but I'm as sincere as they come.
First you think I'm trolling and now this? I'm sincere, too! I think it's sweet. I think you're all nuts, but kinda sweet. Even ex's rage is touching, considering murder for love. It's an old-fashioned idea, but it always strikes a cord and evokes sympathy, empathy, tragedy and even respect. Again, I'm being as sincere and earnest as I've ever been. I promise.

Originally Posted by iammatt

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I think he found that sending the boyfriend food from nice restaurants worked out swimmingly.
+1

You are fucked.

Originally Posted by Incman

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While my logical side pretty much agrees with you, it has progressed past that point and I can't just up and leave. Anyways, this thread wasn't asking for relationship advice, as I'm well aware that common sense and logic should dictate that I GTFO. However, as mentioned, I'm in love with this girl, and I know we'll be together for a long time. Perhaps it's the dumb teenager in me (inb4 someone bolds and +1's that), but I'm willing to put up with the baggage because she's more than worth it. I created this thread to ask for advice as to what I should do in the case her boyfriend tries to confront/attack me at work.
alright, but leaving really isn't as hard as you're making it, and in this instance is a)probably worth it, and b) will solve the problem you began this thread for. two months is smitten, not love. incidentally i'm willing to bet that she won't file any restraining order and he won't come after you. looking forward to the 2012 "I can't believe I just spent the past two years of my life with this girl" thread.