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Girlfriend's Crazy Ex-Boyfriend - what to do? - Page 17

post #241 of 286
Young kid got a sniff of that thing and now he's being with her hand on his dick like a leash.
post #242 of 286
I was with a girl who got out of an engagement to date me. Her ex-boyfriend sent me facebook messages, vague threat e-mails, and ultimately called me multiple times to tell me he was going to kill me. Even worse, the girls parents liked him a lot so they also called me and threatened me as well. The girl was damn near perfect, and felt awful for the things that were happening even though they were way out of her control. A year into the relationship, I realized that this sort of drama is not something you can get over. It will be a sore spot for both of you, and you will always have this 'nag' about it that will just grow with compounding interest until it overtakes the relationship. Cut your losses and move on; don't lose more time on a girl with baggage. She may be unique, special, super sweet, and not have any fault in the ordeal (not the case with yours it seems), but in the end her situation will never be overcome in your relationship. Accept that she is going to be that special girl for someone else and be happy for her. Breaking up now will be so much easier than breaking up a year from now, I promise you. Walk away.
post #243 of 286
Get him one of those remote controlled indoor helicopters.
post #244 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by clubbyjones View Post
I was with a girl who got out of an engagement to date me.

I would never date a girl who did this. Awful idea. If she's willing to drop her engagement for some guy she barely knows, that does not speak highly for her loyalty and judgment.
post #245 of 286
JLib is like the forum's Christopher Walken. Shows up in the middle of any thread. Delivers his soliloquy. Completely owns the place, steals the scene in a way no one else can. Then he leaves.
post #246 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post
To the OP: Lad, I am almost 50 years older than you. I have been through a lot of weird scenes with women in my time, probably more than most of the fellows here. One of my ex-wives blew herself up a couple months after our marriage ended, the second disappeared mysteriously shortly after our divorce became final, to give just a couple of examples.

Heed the voice of wisdom and experience: If this young woman wants to get out her situation with her boyfriend, she'll do it, with or without you. Otherwise, just give the situation a wide berth, as so many others have said. It just spells "trouble" with a capital T.

Moreover, you're 19, living at home, and going to college. You are in no position to be "rescuing" any woman, and rescuing is a foolish policy anyway. When you've got a full-time job and steady income, then is the time to be looking for a woman...if you absolutely must have one. ("Beware of what you want, you may get it" --that maxim never holds so true as when it applies to women, the foul-tempered creatures that they are.)

With all that said, had the same situation arisen for me when I was 19, I'd no doubt have been as big or bigger a romantic fool than you seem to be. Good luck, whatever happens, I think you'll need it.

On the practical side, if he does come after you, consider "improvised" weapons. A wine bottle makes a very effective mace, for example.

listen to what Jan says dammit! he speaks the truth!
post #247 of 286
OP, I'd be careful of this woman's boyfriend. They have been together 5 years, and are currently living together so I imagine he is quite possessive of her.

Also, not to be vulgar, but have you had sex with this woman? She lives with her boyfriend, and you live with your parents - something doesn't add up here.

Her boyfriend could be a pyscho, I'd tread carefully.
post #248 of 286
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post
To the OP: Lad, I am almost 50 years older than you. I have been through a lot of weird scenes with women in my time, probably more than most of the fellows here. One of my ex-wives blew herself up a couple months after our marriage ended, the second disappeared mysteriously shortly after our divorce became final, to give just a couple of examples.

Heed the voice of wisdom and experience: If this young woman wants to get out her situation with her boyfriend, she'll do it, with or without you. Otherwise, just give the situation a wide berth, as so many others have said. It just spells "trouble" with a capital T.

Moreover, you're 19, living at home, and going to college. You are in no position to be "rescuing" any woman, and rescuing is a foolish policy anyway. When you've got a full-time job and steady income, then is the time to be looking for a woman...if you absolutely must have one. ("Beware of what you want, you may get it" --that maxim never holds so true as when it applies to women, the foul-tempered creatures that they are.)

With all that said, had the same situation arisen for me when I was 19, I'd no doubt have been as big or bigger a romantic fool than you seem to be. Good luck, whatever happens, I think you'll need it.

On the practical side, if he does come after you, consider "improvised" weapons. A wine bottle makes a very effective mace, for example.

Thanks for the words of advice. I'm not quite sure what you mean by rescuing her; that's not the way the situation is at all. She will be moving in with her mother in a week or two, as soon as she is able to help her mom clean up her place (a small bachelor with a ton of stuff in it), and finish packing her things. With no car, and working 6 days a week, it is pretty difficult.

Quote:
Originally Posted by R-H View Post
OP, I'd be careful of this woman's boyfriend. They have been together 5 years, and are currently living together so I imagine he is quite possessive of her.

Also, not to be vulgar, but have you had sex with this woman? She lives with her boyfriend, and you live with your parents - something doesn't add up here.

Her boyfriend could be a pyscho, I'd tread carefully.

He's not her boyfriend anymore, and hasn't been for several months. After talking with her more about him, its pretty safe to assume he's not, and that the note was just him venting. Of course it's challenging to get over a breakup with someone you still have strong feelings for, and that is compounded by the fact that he still has to see her almost everyday. It doesn't affect her because she hasn't felt anything romantically for him in over a year, so he is nothing more than a roommate to her. And yes, of course we've had sex.
post #249 of 286
Sorry, I don't doubt your sincerity or word but something doesn't add up. I don't think two people can date for 5 years and then continue to live together like this. People don't turn off their emotions like that.

Enjoy getting laid and move on?
post #250 of 286
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by R-H View Post
Sorry, I don't doubt your sincerity or word but something doesn't add up. I don't think two people can date for 5 years and then continue to live together like this. People don't turn off their emotions like that.

Enjoy getting laid and move on?

As I mentioned here,

Quote:
It doesn't affect her because she hasn't felt anything romantically for him in over a year, so he is nothing more than a roommate to her.

for all intents and purposes they have not been together for about a year. They stopped having sex in January, and the only reason they were technically still "together" is because she didn't want to break it off, because she knew she would still have to live with him for financial reasons. However, eventually she got sick of pretending things were okay, so she broke it off, and is living with the awkwardness for the time being. However, like I said, she will be moving in the immediate future, and not maintaining any substantial contact with him. Regarding your last line, her emotions for him have been "turned off" for quite some time. He still loves her, so it's a lot more difficult for him than it is for her.
post #251 of 286
You're right actually. It does sound pretty legit.

I'd probably want to get engaged to her sooner rather than later. If you're engaged, you'll have a better chance of getting that restraining order. At least move in together right away.
post #252 of 286
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by R-H View Post
You're right actually. It does sound pretty legit.

I'd probably want to get engaged to her sooner rather than later. If you're engaged, you'll have a better chance of getting that restraining order. At least move in together right away.

Sounds like a plan.

I'm well aware that the situation is far from ideal, and that through the life-hardened eyes of the older and wiser members on here I probably should be distancing myself from her. However, I'm also cognizant of the the fact that being with this girl makes me very happy, and seeing as our relationship isn't negatively affecting anything in my life, I don't have any desire to not continue with it. It's a possibility that in 5 years I'll look back and realize that I made a mistake, but it's also a possibility that a won't. For the time being, I will continue enjoying our time together, regardless of what the future may hold.

Anyways, , I know posters in this thread all have their own views regarding the situation that nothing I say will change, but I'm just trying to shed a little light on my views and actions, and why I'm doing what I'm doing.
post #253 of 286
Weird situation, but it should normalize once she moves out. Take hollow threats for what they are and move on.
post #254 of 286
Close thread. Let us know what's up in 3 months.
post #255 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodum5 View Post
Close thread. Let us know what's up in 3 months.

I'd amend your request: please Mr. OP, link us to the police reports of your locality.
That way we can stay up-to-date even if you are, um, incapacitated.
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