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do you think this is a date?

post #1 of 111
Thread Starter 
So I recently got a new hairdresser and I've been to her a couple times so far. I've been going to this place for 2 years and so i've seen her a lot with other customers and while she's friendly and talkative, I seem to get a lot more out of her than others do. The conversation is always great, and I basically keep her laughing throughout the whole appointment. She's the only hairdresser I've ever had that keeps me so distracted that I pay zero attention to what's being done to my hair. She's used to model at a pretty high level, is absolutely gorgeous, and our personalities are seemingly a perfect match. We're both a little twisted and we like a lot of the same things. I'm conservative and she's liberal but that's fine because we antagonize each other in a playful way. I've been dating lots of girls over the past year and a half and I've never had this sort of chemistry with a girl. Everything clicks, and there's never a dead-spot in conversation.

On my last appointment I suggested that she come dancing with me. At first she was like "yaaaaaaa right!" because she doesn't dance at all, least of all to salsa. I reassured her that I suck too so she won't be alone in making a fool of herself and also that when it came down to it, nobody really cared how good or bad anyone else was. With a little convincing (it was very easy) I got her to agree to a private couples lessons after which we'll go to a club.

Here's the catch. I know another one of her customers (a gay man), and he says she's a lesbian. However, she has fooled around with guys (although not often), so maybe she's bi but with a definite preference for women... From my old hairdresser I know that every guy whose hair she cuts develops a crush on her (which is really no surprise), but that she doesn't go out with them. On my first appointment we were talking about dating co-workers and she said that she did that once and would never date anyone from work again, but didn't specify if that included customers as well. She hasn't made any indication to me that she's gay, and she does seem to genuinely like me. The last time i was there I was getting tons of compliments from her and when she realized she had an appointment with me the other day her eyes lit up... I've been sworn to secrecy by the only two guys that could have told me she's gay so I'm sure it would wierd her out if I came straight-out and asked, plus they'd both be upset with me. I know overly clingy guys are something that have annoyed her in the past and I'd hate for her to think that i've been strategizing this whole thing.

I would love to have a romantic relationship with this girl but this is one of the few girls that I'd be just as happy to be friends with b/c I have that much fun with her.

Another girl told me that private dance classes aren't a date. I'm going in to this with no expectation b/c I know the odds are stacked against me given her recent sexual history, however I'm cautiously optimistic. She's no newbie to dating and there's no way that she could be unaware of her effect on men. She has to realize that I think she's attractive (I've told her in various ways on more than one occasion) and that I might potentially think this is a date. She doesn't know that I know she's been dating women exclusively for a couple of years. I once gave her the opportunity to come-out with it when I was telling her a funny story about how her other customer (the gay man) accidentally came out to me but she never provided any indication that she was also gay.

How would you guys handle this?
post #2 of 111
1. I have asked out two bi-sexual women in my life, one slept with me, the other told me she was gay. if she is going out with you, and hasn't mentioned being gay, she seems to be interested

2. women are weird - you may find at the end of what you think is a fantastic evening she says "oh, you wanted to sleep with me? I thought that you knew I was gay!!"

good luck
post #3 of 111
GQG, don't take this the wrong way, but are you living in a male version of Sex and the City?
post #4 of 111
Unless she tells you herself otherwise, keep treating her as if she is straight. At some point, she'll get the hint that you're romantically interested in her and tell you one way or another. Don't over think it. And yes, asking someone else to go dancing with you is a date.
post #5 of 111
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edward Appleby
GQG, don't take this the wrong way, but are you living in a male version of Sex and the City?

What do you mean? I never really watched the show.
post #6 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
What do you mean? I never really watched the show.
It's just that the whole thing, with it's oblique connections to homosexuality and overt ones to hairdressing and trendy nightlife, touches all of the bases necessary for a standard Sex and the City episode, at least from the limited impression I have of the series.
post #7 of 111
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edward Appleby
It's just that the whole thing, with it's oblique connections to homosexuality and overt ones to hairdressing and trendy nightlife, touches all of the bases necessary for a standard Sex and the City episode, at least from the limited impression I have of the series.

I've actually ditched the whole trendy nightlife thing. I got sick of the people and I hated spending all that money (it was either that or bespoke). I've got friends that spend hundreds of dollars a night trying to impress girls and it's just a stupid approach.

One of the reasons I took-up salsa was so that I could meet girls in a different sort of environment. Salsa clubs, at least in montreal, are very easy-going and very social places. The best part is that you don't get the feeling that you're in a pool full of sharks all the time. This girl is much the same way as I am. She quit modelling because she didn't like the pressure, the people, the parties, and all the nastiness that went on, despite being paid in the thousands per day when she was 18.

As for the homosexuality thing, it's really just coincidence. They're the only two that I know.

So to answer your question, no, I don't live the male version of SatC :P
post #8 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
How would you guys handle this?

i'd just enjoy the moment and see where this ends up, without really expecting anything.
post #9 of 111
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
1. I have asked out two bi-sexual women in my life, one slept with me, the other told me she was gay. if she is going out with you, and hasn't mentioned being gay, she seems to be interested

2. women are weird - you may find at the end of what you think is a fantastic evening she says "oh, you wanted to sleep with me? I thought that you knew I was gay!!"

good luck

She slept with you on the first date globe? I wonder if bi-sexual women treat sex more casually that hetero women... Not that I'm even going to try on our first time out together. I really like this girl so I'm not going to rush it. How did it end btw?
post #10 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
I wonder if bi-sexual women treat sex more casually that hetero women...

In my experience, yes.

Though, there is a difference between a 'bi' woman, and one who is simply halfway down the road to becoming a lesbian. The former is out to have a good time, and the latter is scared of that D.
post #11 of 111
well have you considered she knows that your mutual friend told you?

but just go out and have fun.

if its going to happen it will.
post #12 of 111
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by VersaceMan
In my experience, yes.

Though, there is a difference between a 'bi' woman, and one who is simply halfway down the road to becoming a lesbian. The former is out to have a good time, and the latter is scared of that D.

If anything she's switching back from being a full-on "lesbian". The people that know her best say she's been seeing women exclusively for several years now, but that she did mess around with a guy in the past couple years. It's been mostly women though.

I googled it. This article gives me hope. It's a really great article that summarizes a lot of research in to the area. It does a terrific job of dispelling the notion that people are either gay or hetero, and that bi people are just in a transition phase.

Quote:
well have you considered she knows that your mutual friend told you?

No I haven't. Both stated quite specifically that I shouldn't let her know they told me. And the only dating encounter she's told me about was a fling with a guy at work, which she very quickly regretted b/c he wouldn't leave her alone after that.
post #13 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidicboy
i'd just enjoy the moment and see where this ends up, without really expecting anything.
Best advice yet.

A.
post #14 of 111
howard stern's penis.
post #15 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violinist
I've made women laugh continuously and they wouldn't sleep with me, but maybe that has to do with other things.

what a coincidence! i offer women to sleep with me and they laugh continuously!!
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