• Hi, I am the owner and main administrator of Styleforum. If you find the forum useful and fun, please help support it by buying through the posted links on the forum. Our main, very popular sales thread, where the latest and best sales are listed, are posted HERE

    Purchases made through some of our links earns a commission for the forum and allows us to do the work of maintaining and improving it. Finally, thanks for being a part of this community. We realize that there are many choices today on the internet, and we have all of you to thank for making Styleforum the foremost destination for discussions of menswear.
  • This site contains affiliate links for which Styleforum may be compensated.
  • We would like to welcome House of Huntington as an official Affiliate Vendor. Shop past season Drake's, Nigel Cabourn, Private White V.C. and other menswear luxury brands at exceptional prices below retail. Please visit the Houise of Huntington thread and welcome them to the forum.

  • STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

    Styleforum is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Friend of mine just died while giving birth

jsherman02

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Messages
998
Reaction score
1
I am stunned, but also wondering what to do? Her and her husband are both Jewish, and I am not sure what I should do. The baby is doing well, but the mother did not make it through. I would welcome any suggestions.

Thanks.
 

Dakota rube

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Jan 14, 2005
Messages
13,306
Reaction score
237
Offer your condolences.
Offer your help.

Not much else you can do.
Sorry for your loss, man.
 

Thomas

Stylish Dinosaur
Spamminator Moderator
Joined
Jul 25, 2006
Messages
28,098
Reaction score
1,279
Wow - can't really add anything to Rube's post except my condolences.
 

teddieriley

Distinguished Member
Joined
Apr 8, 2006
Messages
9,648
Reaction score
1,653
Saddening news. Offering your help to the fam is best.
 

Krish the Fish

Distinguished Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
3,902
Reaction score
2,271
Dang man. I couldn't imagine what that would be like.

Rube's advice is solid. I'm sorry for your loss too man.
 

Nouveau Pauvre

Distinguished Member
Joined
May 21, 2008
Messages
7,413
Reaction score
304
There is an important ritual around Jewish death called sitting Shiva which is a week long period of mourning.

It's customary for friends and family to come by with prepared food and, depending on the level of observance, participate in a brief prayer ceremony.
 

Dakota rube

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Jan 14, 2005
Messages
13,306
Reaction score
237
^He said she just died. I presume he is asking what he can do now. Shiva comes after burial. But you knew that.
 

jsherman02

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Messages
998
Reaction score
1
She is going to be buried on Friday. I appreciate the input.
 

philosophe

Distinguished Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2004
Messages
5,082
Reaction score
379
That's truly terrible news. I'm very sorry to hear it and send you my condolences.

The period between death and the funeral is just hell, and shiva is tough, too. Bring food, offer childcare, and anything else they need.
 

itsstillmatt

The Liberator
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Mar 11, 2006
Messages
13,969
Reaction score
2,086
I don't mean this the wrong way, but Jews are basically going to need the same care and love as anybody else. Just do what you would want done for you, and they will receive it well. If it somehow violates a tradition, they will just let you know, but be thankful for your caring.
 

HRoi

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Dec 28, 2008
Messages
25,241
Reaction score
16,136
That's unfortunate.

Not sure what your comfort level for this would be, but make a contribution to start a college fund for the kid, and encourage others to do the same...?
 

MrG

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
12,401
Reaction score
5,654
Wow. That's horrible. I can't even imagine what the husband must be going through. Condolences to you and her family/friends.

As others have said, just try to be there and offer help.

One piece of advice I can add is to remember that dad will still have a new baby, and he'll still be mourning, in a few weeks when everyone else has moved on. There will probably be a lot of people there for him in the short term, but they'll be gone long before the pain and new-baby struggles have subsided. You certainly want to be there for him now, but you may be able to help even more if you're there down the line a little ways when the throng of helpers starts to thin.
 

Mr. Lee

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Messages
408
Reaction score
3
So sorry. Mr. G's advice is very wise. Much help is offered in the initial stages and then it starts to taper off. Dad is going to need you then, too. Let your instincts be your guide.
 

Don Carlos

In Time Out
Timed Out
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
7,010
Reaction score
28
Originally Posted by iammatt
I don't mean this the wrong way, but Jews are basically going to need the same care and love as anybody else. Just do what you would want done for you, and they will receive it well. If it somehow violates a tradition, they will just let you know, but be thankful for your caring.
This. Very sorry for your loss. Just be there for her family as best you are able. Even if they're hardcore Orthodox Jews, btw, they will neither expect you to observe esoteric mourning rites, nor get mad at you for violating such. Offering your condolences and your presence will be appreciated a lot more than would an awkward attempt to observe your best guess at the proper Jewish customs.
 

Featured Sponsor

How important is full vs half canvas to you for heavier sport jackets?

  • Definitely full canvas only

    Votes: 55 35.5%
  • Half canvas is fine

    Votes: 60 38.7%
  • Really don't care

    Votes: 17 11.0%
  • Depends on fabric

    Votes: 27 17.4%
  • Depends on price

    Votes: 28 18.1%

Forum statistics

Threads
505,203
Messages
10,579,254
Members
223,891
Latest member
Robertiweyer
Top