You know the tales: groupies, drugs, more groupies, fame and fortune, and more groupies.
I wonder where those tales come from because I've yet to get any of that. I just came off tour with my band and, while I enjoyed it, it was absolutely grueling in many respects. I can see why a lot of artists would rather depend on album sales because it's not as 'easy' as a lot of clueless non-musicians would make it out to be.
1) Groupies. Maybe one day long ago there used to be a steady throng of girls waiting to put cock-to-mouth, but other than a couple hook-ups with ex-girlfriends, the most action any of us got was when the drummer got antsy and started wrestling everyone in the van.
2) Drugs. Well, yeah, there was some drugs, mainly to relieve the extreme tedium/boredom of being cooped up in a van for 5-6 hours, sitting around waiting for a show to start, sitting around waiting to get paid, etc, but most of us were too broke to buy any drugs and only got any when someone was sharing at a show. Alcohol was limited because after 6 weeks on a tour, nightly benders was really old-hat and getting sick in a van sucks for everyone. No piles of cocaine to be found. One guy ended up buying the fake weed at a gas station in a desperate attempt to try and get some sort of buzz to take the edge off.
3) Fame. Meh. Some shows went really well, most were just okay. Plenty of last minute venue changes, cancellations and desperate scrambles, but that's to be expected. Lots of new friends made, though, so future forays into those cities should be better. If being famous means "Oh, you guys were playing tonight? Who booked you?" then I suppose we got it.
4) Fortune: $500 out of pocket for the whole tour for me. After paying the rental van, gas, and merch, the band actually came out ahead a whopping $200. That's $40 a person for 6 weeks. Can't wait to spend it all in one place.
5) I had a lizard crawl over my head in the middle of the night sleeping on a random floor after a show. Food was predominately fast-food and shit you buy at the gas station. No fine dining here, friends.
Anyway, we do it for the love of the music and the thrill of adventure. Unfortunately it's mostly just hurry up and waiting.
On the upside, I swam in both the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico for a few hours, met a lot of interesting people, saw some good bands, and it really beat just sitting at home and staring at a wall.
I wonder where those tales come from because I've yet to get any of that. I just came off tour with my band and, while I enjoyed it, it was absolutely grueling in many respects. I can see why a lot of artists would rather depend on album sales because it's not as 'easy' as a lot of clueless non-musicians would make it out to be.
1) Groupies. Maybe one day long ago there used to be a steady throng of girls waiting to put cock-to-mouth, but other than a couple hook-ups with ex-girlfriends, the most action any of us got was when the drummer got antsy and started wrestling everyone in the van.
2) Drugs. Well, yeah, there was some drugs, mainly to relieve the extreme tedium/boredom of being cooped up in a van for 5-6 hours, sitting around waiting for a show to start, sitting around waiting to get paid, etc, but most of us were too broke to buy any drugs and only got any when someone was sharing at a show. Alcohol was limited because after 6 weeks on a tour, nightly benders was really old-hat and getting sick in a van sucks for everyone. No piles of cocaine to be found. One guy ended up buying the fake weed at a gas station in a desperate attempt to try and get some sort of buzz to take the edge off.
3) Fame. Meh. Some shows went really well, most were just okay. Plenty of last minute venue changes, cancellations and desperate scrambles, but that's to be expected. Lots of new friends made, though, so future forays into those cities should be better. If being famous means "Oh, you guys were playing tonight? Who booked you?" then I suppose we got it.
4) Fortune: $500 out of pocket for the whole tour for me. After paying the rental van, gas, and merch, the band actually came out ahead a whopping $200. That's $40 a person for 6 weeks. Can't wait to spend it all in one place.
5) I had a lizard crawl over my head in the middle of the night sleeping on a random floor after a show. Food was predominately fast-food and shit you buy at the gas station. No fine dining here, friends.
Anyway, we do it for the love of the music and the thrill of adventure. Unfortunately it's mostly just hurry up and waiting.
On the upside, I swam in both the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico for a few hours, met a lot of interesting people, saw some good bands, and it really beat just sitting at home and staring at a wall.
