thank you all for your input, i will update as soon as there i get more info. I just had a 2 hour conversation with 1 on the phone. she seems to be warming up to the abortion idea. she said it's 50/50 at the moment and she just needs a week to think it over. she's also really scared and doesn't know what to do yet. she was very rational and we calculated that the fetus/blastocyst is only a bit over a week old - gives me 19 more weeks to work with. she is very against the abortion pill because she is scared of the cramps and 3 weeks of bleeding, so she is considering the "surgical" method if she decides to abort.
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Originally Posted by
rjakapeanut 
he shouldn't have busted inside of her. we all know women fuck up with the pill sometimes or it doesn't work all the time, and we all know women change their minds like they change their heels. don't bust inside of her = no baby. plain and simple. he did the crime, he'll do the time. 18-life. enjoy it.
I understand I fucked up. I was with another girl for 2 years before who was on birth control and i never used a condom and nothing like this happened. i'm not making any excuses. I should have been more careful and will be careful until i think i am ready to care for a child. I am only 22 years old right now. I don't think i have the capability to raise a child financially, or emotionally.
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Originally Posted by
MetroStyles OP, do you have a contingency plan (no plan B joaks please) in case its yours and she has it? Do you have dual citizenship with China? Does the US enforce Canadian child support?
I only have a Canadian citizenship, but running from this would be difficult. I will only consider this option after gradschool is done in 2 years. i hope it doesn't come to this.
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Originally Posted by
MetroStyles Lol, nope he isn't fucked. Good chance she isn't actually pregnant. Small chance if she is it isn't his. Major chance she gets an abortion and is attention-bluffing.
I really hope this is the case. We are going to go to a clinic on wednesday together to get a blood test, because the pregnancy hormone is concentrated in the blood. As of now, with 2 positive tests, i'm just assuming she is really prego. i need to prep a pro abortion presentation...
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Originally Posted by
BlackShoes I would push heavily for an abortion at this stage, if you allow it to drag out and go for adoption, a big bond will already have formed, and she will be loathe to send it away, even if she agrees now, we have seen that she can be duplicitous. If pushing for abortion does not work, then your option is adoption, but right now, go for the abortion. You had a good idea with the cost/benefit, but make sure to emphasise that she will get nothing from you. Women are programmed to try and enlist the help of a partner in raising their children, by telling her (again, in an uncompromising way) that you will under no circumstances help her, it becomes a far less attractive option for her. Also, mentioning the drinking and smoking seems like a good idea, to take some of the shine off her potential motherhood aspirations. Good luck buddy
I have made it abundantly clear that i will not be with her no matter what. i told her that if she were to have the child, i will not be there for either her or the child emotionally. financially maybe, but that's another matter because i'll be in school for another couple of years.
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Originally Posted by
bigbris1 OP, I haven't read the entire thread but just read thru your entire first post. It sounds like 1 may be trying to control you. I say move on and forget about 1. If she indeed does eventually have a kid and the paternity tests show that it's yours, you know what you have to do. Until then, assume she's playing you. If you want to know how I know, just ask me.
did this happen to you? although I think 1 is a nice girl, she IS really possessive and has trust issues (maybe from her father leaving the fam at a young age). I hope she's not playing. She sounds very sincerely scared on the phone...
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Originally Posted by
Sherlock LOL your parents are paying for your grad school? I'm guessing they bought your car too and probably pay for your apartment. ROFL
Notice i said they're paying for a "down payment" for grad school. I got a loan from the bank, but the program doesn't start until May nest year so i have no access to that money. I take the bus to school, work part time in the school gym, and I live at home.
good old student life.
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Originally Posted by
BlackShoes Come to think of it, is the OP coming back?
I'm back. Thank you all for helping me look through all my options.
