ex lied about being pregnant! thanks for all your help.

Originally Posted by Brize

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I'm afraid that abstinence has to be the standard if you want to guarantee that you won't end up a parent. If you ********, you always run the risk of pregnancy"”however small"”and you have to be prepared to accept your responsibilities. This thread is a sobering reminder of that fact of life.


Absolutely, I was just trying to put a stop to the should have wraped it bro crowd.

NB: I fall into the moderate disuasion followed by eventually accepting your responsibilites... If she really is that bad make a custody filling...

It's your **** that's being spilt everywhere. Take responsibility for it. I can't believe dudes are sayin it's the chicks fault because she was manipulative or irresponsible about the pill when the guy was just as irresponsible with his own protection. Biased much?

I'm not surprised the answer from these people is "leave the country" again dodging responsibilities.

Originally Posted by CouttsClient

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I don't know if this has been suggested but do this:

1. Do NOT talk to her. Do NOT go to the clinic with her. Do NOT allow ANY contact between the two of you. NOTHING. Change your phone # TOMORROW.

2. Don't give in to the pleas of "support".

3. Understand that whether or not she's pregnant being there now will do no good and will only make you closer to someone you don't want to be with. It will probably make "new" girl leave you. She doesn't need your drama.

4. Set all of her emails and any emails that have the word "baby" in them to be filtered into a special folder. Open said folder in 3 months. If she's having a baby, she'll have emailed you a number of times.

5. If she has a child get the DNA test ASAP.

6. If it's your child...LOVE IT. SUPPORT IT. DON'T RUN BECAUSE IT'S DIFFICULT. You'll suffer for making that decision and so will the child. The child won't deserve that.

7. Setup a visitation arrangement.

This is pretty ****** advice (1 - 4). If you go into it with the attitude that you will run and fight and dodge your responsibility, odds are that 6 & 7 won't really be in the cards between you and this chick.

Let's not forget that IF you end up with a kid, it is NOT just an 18 year liability. You'll have to explain it to the kid, every one of your future serious girlfriends, your parents, your future children . . . they will all see how you reacted and have an opinion on it - these are presumably people that you want to be in your life.

The situation is what it is, and nobody says you have to enjoy becoming an adult / parent years before you planned it, but here you are. The suggestions to move to another country, threaten not to pay support, or try to ignore her are just stupid. Man up, grow up, and make the best of it. Believe it or not, having a kid (even earlier than you "planned"), is not the end of the world.

It's not the end of the world but it is the end of his life as he knows it.

Fetus>you op.

..

Thanks for all the comments, I've read through them all.

1 called this morning and told me she had spoken on the phone with her mom. Her mom was initially mad but then told 1 she would support any decision she made.
1 called me and told me although she wasn't sure yet, she is leaning towards having this child.

I told 1 good luck with life and taking care of the kid by herself. I told her i wasn't going to have anything to do with her. I'm not going to throw away my life for some irrational, emotional girl that i only dated for 4 weeks.
If i was with her for a year, two years, sure, I'll man up and stick it out for the kid. But this is a 4 week fling.

This is what i'm trying to get her to understand. She has no ability to care for the kid. The kid's going to grow up in a broken home and not have a shot at success in life. She's just being selfish and thinking only about her.

I realized i have been too nice to her. By talking with her on the phone and seeing her to talk this over, i might have given her hope that i will stick around once the child is born, which may sway her in not getting the abortion. Now I have to be firm and make her realize how hard this is going to be. I haven't seen her/ignored her since the break up and this may be a way for her to get my attention.

She is not religious, she is not against abortions, and neither is her mom. She has the choice to have the kid or not. She is not being rational at all.

I told her not to call me unless she changes her mind.
I deleted her off facebook and will try to cut ties with her. This thing has been consuming me and I think i'm just going to focus on school and ignore it. The decision is out of my hands...
It's all up to her. If she calls me in 9 months to inform me that a child is born, so be it.

Originally Posted by Reggs

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It's still going to give her hope.
Just think of the last time a pregnant woman acted logically. I rest my case.
You already spelled it out for yourself. Stop talking to her ASAP.
I'm not going to communicate with her. I told her only reason she should call me is to talk about the abortion.

All abortions are covered by the government here in Ontario. It will cost her nothing. She could have it the same day she walks in the clinic. On top of that, our university will cover any further costs from any type of medical complications. She should have no trouble getting the abortion.
However, I've told her if she changes her mind, i will be with her throughout the abortion process and will still be her friend afterwards because i will owe her for life.

You did the right thing. It's all you could do. Good luck.

Originally Posted by cross22

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NorCal has it right.
Yup.

Originally Posted by Brize

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Her total inability to be a mother? What in God's name are you talking about man?! You've never met her; you're just making an assumption based on a snippet of vague information from someone with a vested interest in painting her in a bad light.

no one in this thread is smart. so you should leave, they won't hear you.

SHE JUST CALLED.
SHE'S NOT KEEPING IT!

i think i called her bluff by telling her if she keeps it i'm never seeing her/ talking to her ever again.

She's going to talk to her mom again and they're going to either go on monday or wednesday to get it done.
It's not over until is over. Women on hormones cannot be trusted to keep their words.
Pray for me guys that she will go through with it.
I will update you all as i get more info.

thank you all for your comments.

p.s. i love you metrostyles

OP, you are probably a sack of ****. I'm sure you're okay with that.

Originally Posted by deranged

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SHE JUST CALLED.
SHE'S NOT KEEPING IT!

i think i called her bluff by telling her if she keeps it i'm never seeing her/ talking to her ever again.

She's going to talk to her mom again and they're going to either go on monday or wednesday to get it done.
It's not over until is over. Women on hormones cannot be trusted to keep thier words.
Pray for me guys that she will go through with it.
I will update you all as i get more info.

thank you all for your comments.

p.s. i love you metrostyles

You just got a second lease on life. Enjoy it!!! =D

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

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OP, you are probably a sack of ****. I'm sure you're okay with that.

Go screw yourself, kwilk. You've been a whiny ***** recently. Go check your estrogen levels. Yeah I'm sure if you accidentally impregnated random AZN from the wedding you would have totally supported her decision to have a baby. Oh wait, you probably would since you are from the uneducated bible belt.

Originally Posted by deranged

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Pray for me guys that she will go through with it.
Haha this is one of the more odd requests I've read.

My advice is to never see this chick again, regardless.

Originally Posted by texas_jack

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My advice is to never see this chick again, regardless.

I think that goes without saying.