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ex lied about being pregnant! thanks for all your help. - Page 2

post #16 of 521
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the support guys. to update the story. she took another test today and it came back positive again. she took a picture of it on her phone and sent me the picture. she is definitely pregnant. There is no doubt about it. Now my option is to choose the strategy i will use to try to convince her to get rid of it. She's a little asian girl, 5'3, 86lbs. I think even if she decides to go on, chances of her having a miscarriage is very high. If all else fails, that might be my saving grace. I laid it out for her this morning via a cost benefit analysis. Costs: 1. kills career 2. very expensive - diapers, childcare, formula, school, etc 3. time consuming - no time to study or go out 4. hurts her chances of finding someone else in the future - i made it clear i'm not going to be with her either way. She's going to have a hard time on finding someone who is willing to date a girl with a kid. 5. weight gain - she's really self conscious about weight. 6. giving birth will hurt - pushing out a 10lb baby is not pleasant. 7. i will be here for her only if she gets an abortion - does this make me an asshole? i guess i can live with being an ass. benefits: 1. she has this little thing she can play with which constantly reminds her of a mistake in her life. Any other points I should raise? I've been researching medical abortions which is just 2 pills that makes her have a miscarriage. It sounds pretty good. take a couple of pills and cramp up and bleed for 5-8 hours. Spotting for 2-3 weeks afterwards. No side effects. She said she wants to think it over for a week or so. should i rush her or just give her time? university educated girls should have the brains to figure out that she should get rid of it right??? i'm so fucking stressed. my parents would whip my ass. they already paid the deposit for gradschool...
post #17 of 521
She's drinking and smoking up right now? I don't want to know how that baby will turn out. My instinct tells me she's lying in your face.
post #18 of 521
could be that her period is out of sync due to the pill.
post #19 of 521
I think your plan is a good one. Good luck.

Give her a couple of weeks to think it over without pressure. If she makes the wrong choice then start pressuring her.
post #20 of 521
The tests fail all the time. When they say something like "98% accurate" that's only true if the hormone it tests for is present.

First of all, stop talking to her. If she thinks you will stick around she will be more likely to keep it. Dont reason with her. Never answer her calls. Only accept call you recognize. Never answer your door. Take her off every social site you are on. Do not communicate with her through friends.
post #21 of 521
As far as the RU486 (sp?) abortion pill, I did some reading about and if you go to someplace like Planned Parenthood, they will have her take one pill while she is there in the office to make sure it's legit, the they send her home and she can take the next pill like 6 hours later.

I was going to suggest going to PPH and picking up the pill to have on hand just in case, but I don't think they let you do that...have to take the first one in the office.
post #22 of 521
Man, is she Asian-Asian? or like 'Hi im Teresa Chung kinda Asian?' Cause Asian-Asian parents would fuckin whoop her ass if she got preggaz. On a side note I really can't see her keeping this if shes serious about Uni, weight, relationships... Keep us updated
post #23 of 521
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
The tests fail all the time. When they say something like "98% accurate" that's only true if the hormone it tests for is present.

First of all, stop talking to her. If she thinks you will stick around she will be more likely to keep it. Dont reason with her. Never answer her calls. Only accept call you recognize. Never answer your door. Take her off every social site you are on. Do not communicate with her through friends.

i don't know if i should just stop talking to her... i want to be there when the abortion is done just so i can know for sure. i don't want her coming to me in a couple of years asking for alimony.
i'm just trying to be nice and supportive right now, but letting her know that i'm not going to be with her under ANY circumstances.
post #24 of 521
Does her family know? Does she have siblings? Are you white?

Quote:
Originally Posted by deranged View Post
Thanks for all the support guys.
to update the story.
she took another test today and it came back positive again. she took a picture of it on her phone and sent me the picture. she is definitely pregnant. There is no doubt about it.

Now my option is to choose the strategy i will use to try to convince her to get rid of it.
She's a little asian girl, 5'3, 86lbs. I think even if she decides to go on, chances of her having a miscarriage is very high. If all else fails, that might be my saving grace.

I laid it out for her this morning via a cost benefit analysis.
Costs:
1. kills career
2. very expensive - diapers, childcare, formula, school, etc
3. time consuming - no time to study or go out
4. hurts her chances of finding someone else in the future - i made it clear i'm not going to be with her either way. She's going to have a hard time on finding someone who is willing to date a girl with a kid.
5. weight gain - she's really self conscious about weight.
6. giving birth will hurt - pushing out a 10lb baby is not pleasant.
7. i will be here for her only if she gets an abortion - does this make me an asshole? i guess i can live with being an ass.

benefits:
1. she has this little thing she can play with which constantly reminds her of a mistake in her life.

Any other points I should raise?

I've been researching medical abortions which is just 2 pills that makes her have a miscarriage. It sounds pretty good. take a couple of pills and cramp up and bleed for 5-8 hours. Spotting for 2-3 weeks afterwards. No side effects.

She said she wants to think it over for a week or so. should i rush her or just give her time? university educated girls should have the brains to figure out that she should get rid of it right???
i'm so fucking stressed. my parents would whip my ass. they already paid the deposit for gradschool...
post #25 of 521
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dw3610wm View Post
Man, is she Asian-Asian? or like 'Hi im Teresa Chung kinda Asian?' Cause Asian-Asian parents would fuckin whoop her ass if she got preggaz.

On a side note I really can't see her keeping this if shes serious about Uni, weight, relationships... Keep us updated

she's born here in toronto. not "asian-asian". half thai, half viet.
she's raised in a single parent home, and her mom would support her decision, whichever it may be. her mom just had another kid with a new guy, so she has a 4 month old brother at home. a few of her friends have kids. in that regard, i believe her when she said she would/could keep it.
she's still on the fence though, so there is still hope for me to change her mind.
she's not doing too well in school in a poli sci major. i hope she's not trying to latch onto me...
post #26 of 521
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pantisocrat View Post
Does her family know? Does she have siblings? Are you white?


her family doesn't know yet. only her friends know. She has only one sibling, who is 4 months old.
i am not white. i'm chinese, but grew up here, so i'd say westernized asian.
post #27 of 521
Half Thai half viet? Sounds fucking hot as shit.
post #28 of 521
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Half Thai half viet? Sounds fucking hot as shit.

+1. Pics of the ex?
post #29 of 521
"I never believed that she would be so stupid to risk her career for a child." nah jack, you're the one who's stupid. your whole life is fucked up now, and you deserve it. when i get down, here are the rules: 1.) she's on the pill. if she's not, no thanks. 2.) i use a condom. if she's not down, no thanks. 3.) i pull out. if she's not down, no thanks. losing a little bit of pleasure is well worth guaranteeing you don't fuck your whole life up with a kid. good luck with it, but don't blame it on her for not murdering the child (i'm pro life, naturally). it's your fault for being a fucking idiot and busting your nut inside a bitch. rookie mistake.
post #30 of 521
Quote:
Originally Posted by deranged View Post
I laid it out for her this morning via a cost benefit analysis.

This thread is depressing as hell for so many reasons.
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