ex lied about being pregnant! thanks for all your help.

i'm in a lot of **** right now. please help with any kind of advice.

I dated this girl for 4 weeks - we'll call her 1. 1 was on the pill (tricyclen lo). i didn't pull out when we had sex, ever, because she wanted it inside her. i never ever actually saw her take the pill but i've seen them in her bag. she claims she took them everyday, sometimes maybe a couple of hours late. we had a conversation prior to sex and she said if she was to ever get pregnant, she would get rid of it. she's in 4th year university like i am. I never believed that she would be so stupid to risk her career for a child.

After 3-4 weeks, I found out that 1 had a mean temper. 1 was controlling and didn't want me talking to any other girls, even ones i've been friends with for 3-4 years. She was super picky and just wasn't my type of girl, so i broke up with 1. She really liked me and didn't want to break up. It was messy for a week or so where she would call me crying every day.

A couple of weeks later, i started dating another girl who i've had a crush on since second year of university. we hit it off and i think she might be the one for me. The new girl has everything i'm looking for and is tall and good looking. Everything has been going good and it's been almost 3 weeks with the new girl.

1 called me two nights ago and told me that she's missed her period for a couple of days.
she usually has her period the 3rd day of her placebo, but now she's on her 5th and still no bleeding. she doesn't want to start a new pack of pills because it might be dangerous.
I told her to take a test and she said it was positive. she said if she was indeed prego, she'd keep it.
i reminded her of our conversation and she said she's changed her mind.

i'm in the last year of my undergrad, i'm starting my grad program next year. I think i might have found the girl i want to settle with. everything is going so well and this happens.

i don't know what to do now...

i tried to convince 1 to get rid of it, but she said it's her decision and she'll think about it, but she's most likely keeping it. although she said she might give it up for adoption.
i told 1 i would have no part in taking care of this child because i didn't plan on having it, and she had agreed to not have one if accidents happened. 1 said that she doesn't need me and she can take care of the kid by herself...

I told the new girl and she was really understanding. she said she'd work through it with me because she cares about me. She said however, if 1 were to actually decide to have the kid, she would have to leave me.

1 smokes and went drinking last night. is she actually serious about having a kid? i think she's doing this to get back at me and is not really planning to have a kid. i want her to take more prego tests, but she refuse to until next tuesday when it will be the last day she might get her period. 1 knows about the new girl and she told me to stop talking to her until this is settled.
I haven't seen 1 take the test so she might be ******** me, but i can't risk it though; my future is on the line.

what should i do? what should i say?

Originally Posted by deranged

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i didn't pull out when we had sex, ever, because she wanted it inside her.
This is exactly why I am the proud owner of an 18 YO. Where was admiral Akbar when I needed him?

Originally Posted by bigbris1

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This is exactly why I am the proud owner of an 18 YO. Where was admiral Akbar when I needed him?

Note to self: running low on condoms, restock.

I've been there before, first gf was a few days late. What a ****** Valentine's day and the next couple days. What is it with people's desire to reproduce without having the capacity to support a child?

next time she goes out drinking drug her drink, and teach her how to swim while sleeping.

I guess that you use a condom when you ********, but don't take someone else's word for it that you are protected.

As for now, I guess you just have to wait this out. If she decides to raise the kid, the first time she runs low on money, you WILL be contacted. You WILL be forced to pay support if this happens.

Other than changing your name and running away, there is not much you can do about this.

Since you seem to find women pretty easily, another one will come along if the one you like now bails on you.

Happened to an acquaintance of mine. He's stuck dealing with the consequences to this day. This is not a helpful answer, but this is why i wear condoms even if the chick is on the pill and tells me she'd get an abortion in the event of a pregnancy.

Hope you get a pass on this and if you do I bet you'll never ******** without a condom again. ;p

Originally Posted by deranged

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we had a conversation prior to sex and she said if she was to ever get pregnant, she would get rid of it.

she said if she was indeed prego, she'd keep it.
i reminded her of our conversation and she said she's changed her mind.
First mistake: Assuming a girl wouldn't change her mind. Especially one who could be pregnant and jacked up on hormones.

Unfortunately, there's not much else you can do right now.

a) Slip an abortion pill into her drink when she isn't looking.
b) Tell her it's up to her - she can either try to get child support payments or you are moving out of the country, but either way she will never see a dime of your money.
c) Play the nice guy card and try to convince her through logic.
d) Have the kid abducted and then put it up for adoption.

Originally Posted by mondayc

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First mistake: Assuming a girl wouldn't change her mind. Especially one who could be pregnant and jacked up on hormones.

Unfortunately, there's not much else you can do right now.

What should our OP expect to be paying in the event she pursues him? Say he makes $45K a year for reference (I know you're in school, so maybe what if he only works part time as well?), I'm sure it's income based, correct?

Originally Posted by GQgeek

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I bet you'll never ******** without a condom again. ;p

Sounds like no fun

I'd say the main advice after this story is never to date idiots again. Sorry if it sounds bad, but i can't understand this kind of girls behaviour.

Though i'm 90% sure she is just desperate and tries to get you back by this drama. That's why i'd recommend not to react at all. All she wants now is your attention. And she has chosen a bad way to get it. So just don't give it to her. You've made your point clear... everything above that is up to her. As soon as she realizes you have no interest in this story she'll disappear. I also suspect that there is no child at all...

You are gonna be paying child support for the next 18 years. Your only option is to leave Canada. Go to a different country where they can't get you. A country that doesn't have close ties with Canada.

If she sais shes pregnant, I don't know as I have never dealt with that... but I have had various chicks late on their period (once it took her two weeks over to have her period - two. *******. weeks. ****.) and me freaking out even if we wear doing it relatively safely... Anything from diet to stress (if you guys broke up recently and she was crying on the phone she was prolly real stressed out) can cause her period to fluctuate.

Kinda pisses me off that reproducing is done the same way you ********. We should have been made so that if you want a kid you *** in her ear, three times a day for a week. It would solve 99% of the worlds problems with unknown fathers/abortions/conception/hit-and-runs etc. but Mr. Fritzl, he would still win. He was a bad bad man.

There also might be a slim possibility that she's insane and self conscious and jealous of your new woman, as well as vindictive over the fact that you want nothing to do with her anymore...and she's stretching the truth/making up her pregnancy scare just to see your reaction. I've heard of this happening. She'd have to be super crazy for this to be true, but it kind of sounds like she fits that bill.

Also, being irresponsible with taking the pill could be ******* up her cycle anyway, and maybe her period is being skipped because of her inconsistency? Weird things happen with menstrual cycles all the time, especially when hormones are being tampered with because of birth control.

Originally Posted by deranged

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1 was on the pill (tricyclen lo). i didn't pull out

I wouldn't be surprised if she was lying. Had a girl lie to me about how she was "pregnant" when she wasn't because I was seeing someone else. I would hate to be in your situation man. Didn't sleep for a week when she told me that untill she admitted that she was indeed lying and asking me to go back to her. Closest I ever came to beating the **** out of a girl.