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What is up with women and there damn chasing games…

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Okay, so to start of with it is a weird set-up... I like this girl and we date on and off, it has not developed into a relationship... we like each other, but I need to focus on carrier and she understands this. We've known each other for a long time, and we don't see other people.
So I was abroad for a while, whist I was away I get an email from her about some thing she is excited about happening to her, so I reply and say I'll speak to her when I get back.
So the night I get back I'm sleeping and jet lagged, and I get a text message from her at 1am, so I contemplated not replying, and turning my phone off, but it had been a long time since I had spoken to her, even before I was away, so I reply, and in turns into a conversation of 40 odd texts back and forth, which I eventually have to end at 3am because I was just too tired.
So today, 3 days later I text her in the afternoon, and no reply from her it's 9.30 pm. I know there is nothing wrong with her because I met her boss on the tube home from work, and she came up in our conversation.
It's not that I don't like her, and I'm used to this, because she often does not reply texts, but it feels like bullshit, that I'd wake up jet lagged and absolutely knackered because she wants to talk, but if I send her a message, replying does not seem like an issue to her, I act like I don't care, but of course inside I do... it's bullshit....
Two reasons for my post, first to get it off my chest, and second to ask are all women like this, or is this due to me not wanting a proper relationship?
post #2 of 27
Can't help with the situation, but I have a question for you people on the other side of the pond.

What's the deal with text messaging? Why would you spend 2 hours sending text messages back and forth when you could just pick up the phone? I don't get this.
post #3 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bouji
Okay, so to start of with it is a weird set-up... I like this girl and we date on and off, it has not developed into a relationship... we like each other, but I need to focus on carrier and she understands this. We've known each other for a long time, and we don't see other people.
So I was abroad for a while, whist I was away I get an email from her about some thing she is excited about happening to her, so I reply and say I'll speak to her when I get back.
So the night I get back I'm sleeping and jet lagged, and I get a text message from her at 1am, so I contemplated not replying, and turning my phone off, but it had been a long time since I had spoken to her, even before I was away, so I reply, and in turns into a conversation of 40 odd texts back and forth, which I eventually have to end at 3am because I was just too tired.
So today, 3 days later I text her in the afternoon, and no reply from her it's 9.30 pm. I know there is nothing wrong with her because I met her boss on the tube home from work, and she came up in our conversation.
It's not that I don't like her, and I'm used to this, because she often does not reply texts, but it feels like bullshit, that I'd wake up jet lagged and absolutely knackered because she wants to talk, but if I send her a message, replying does not seem like an issue to her, I act like I don't care, but of course inside I do... it's bullshit....
Two reasons for my post, first to get it off my chest, and second to ask are all women like this, or is this due to me not wanting a proper relationship?
No, all women aren't like that (and, in fact, a lot of guys are like that). It may or may not be due to your not wanting a "proper relationship". It could just be the way she is. If it bugs you I'd just say something. Carrying it around inside of you sucks and isn't going to do you any good. Or, the next time she messages you at a time that's not convenient for you, ignore it until it is convenient. A "proper relationship", in my book, is one where you're getting what you need and your boundaries are respected. But it's up to you to set those boundaries and tell her when what she's doing (or not doing) isn't working for you.
post #4 of 27
Somehow text messaging is more "casual", so to speak, then a phone conversation. The problem is that it adds another goddamn layer of interaction (much like Facebook for the younger among us) that's in this no-man's land and just complicates things.
post #5 of 27
Hmm, that's strange, I thought you were married...
post #6 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark_Y
Can't help with the situation, but I have a question for you people on the other side of the pond.

What's the deal with text messaging? Why would you spend 2 hours sending text messages back and forth when you could just pick up the phone? I don't get this.

I think its due to the fact that the British are quite reserved people, and don't generally like talking all that much...
Personally, I prefer to phone rather than text, but the other night I was so tired that I was not going to phone, because my voice would have resembled a horse. As for today, well can't go back on it now... I was working at the time, so I could not really phone her.
post #7 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
Hmm, that's strange, I thought you were married...
Recently divorced.
post #8 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
Hmm, that's strange, I thought you were married...

Darn it, j. You beat me to it.
post #9 of 27
I don't see what the big deal is. You chose to respond at 1 and text back and forth. You could have ignored it and gone to sleep. And then she didn't respond in less than half a day? Maybe she's busy. If she got pissy with you for not texting back in the same time . . .
post #10 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by chorse123
I don't see what the big deal is. You chose to respond at 1 and text back and forth. You could have ignored it and gone to sleep. And then she didn't respond in less than half a day? Maybe she's busy. If she got pissy with you for not texting back in the same time . . .

Perhaps...
post #11 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bouji
Okay, so to start of with it is a weird set-up… I like this girl and we date on and off, it has not developed into a relationship… we like each other, but I need to focus on carrier and she understands this. We’ve known each other for a long time, and we don’t see other people.
So I was abroad for a while, whist I was away I get an email from her about some thing she is excited about happening to her, so I reply and say I’ll speak to her when I get back.
So the night I get back I’m sleeping and jet lagged, and I get a text message from her at 1am, so I contemplated not replying, and turning my phone off, but it had been a long time since I had spoken to her, even before I was away, so I reply, and in turns into a conversation of 40 odd texts back and forth, which I eventually have to end at 3am because I was just too tired.
So today, 3 days later I text her in the afternoon, and no reply from her it’s 9.30 pm. I know there is nothing wrong with her because I met her boss on the tube home from work, and she came up in our conversation.
It’s not that I don’t like her, and I’m used to this, because she often does not reply texts, but it feels like bullshit, that I’d wake up jet lagged and absolutely knackered because she wants to talk, but if I send her a message, replying does not seem like an issue to her, I act like I don't care, but of course inside I do… it's bullshit….
Two reasons for my post, first to get it off my chest, and second to ask are all women like this, or is this due to me not wanting a proper relationship?

didn't you post a picture of your lavishly decorated home that was done by your alleged wife...

Edit: just read J's message... I think we have another Mittal imposter on our hands, what was his name?
post #12 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Violinist
didn't you post a picture of your lavishly decorated home that was done by your alleged wife...

Edit: just read J's message... I think we have another Mittal imposter on our hands, what was his name?

I posted above, I'm recently divorced.

To tell the truth, she passed away, but I did not what to say that earlier.
post #13 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bouji
I posted above, I'm recently divorced.

To tell the truth, she passed away, but I did not what to say that earlier.
I don't understand .
post #14 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by iammatt
I don't understand .

My wife died in a car accident.
post #15 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bouji
My wife died in a car accident.
Terribly sorry to bring it up then. But I have to think that maybe it's hard to think clearly about dating at a time like this. Maybe you should give it some time. And sorry for your loss.
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