Now you can be the proud owner of internet personality MetroStyles' very own used bedsheets!!! These sheets have starred in such threads as "Adventures in Online Dating" and other ones in which I talked about banging chicks. These sheets feature the stains of Hipster Girl, BigTit girl, and several others that have been slain between October 2009 and today. Become a part of internet lore! These are stained sheets. There are probably 5-6 sex stains on them. They are Bed, Bath, and Beyond Pure Beech Jersey Knit Sheets. This shit is soft as my freshly-shorn nuts. They are so comfy. I just bought two more sets today, and am retiring these. I also have a more heavily stained red set for sale. Asking for $40 to recoup my investment. Imagine the stories you will be able to tell your friends! My powerful love-making spirit will be present with you at all times as you try to bed girls. These sheets have several "washings" of bourbon on them, so it will help your prey become tipsy/drunk/passed out even faster. Stains may or may not contain: *vaginal secretions!! *semen (definitely contains)!! *menstrual blood!! *non-menstrual blood!! *hairs!! *lost earrings!! *poo!! *tears!! *bourbon!! *riesling wine!! If you do not get laid in these sheets within three weeks of purchase, I guarantee your money back!!!!* *Offer does not apply to Connemara or MarkI. A stain (right side, shaped like horse-shoe crab). Look how soft it is. Pure Beech!
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9/2/10 at 9:22pm