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Appropriate Monetary Gift for a Wedding

post #1 of 31
8/31/10 at 12:09pm
Thread Starter 
I will be attending a wedding this weekend. The couple noted that monetary gifts are preferred. What would be the appropriate amount to give the couple? I'm sure in the end they wouldn't mind, but I would hate to insult them by giving a low amount or, as bad as it sounds, "overpay" (even though I'm sure they would love that!)

If age is a factor, they are both 25.
If my relationship with them is a factor, then I hardly know the groom, but I've been really good friends with the bride through college, but I didn't really keep up contact with her for the past couple of years.

Thanks!
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post #2 of 31
8/31/10 at 1:22pm
I would say anywhere from $25-$50 depending on your money situation. If you were family I would say $100.
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post #3 of 31
8/31/10 at 1:34pm
Depending on your monetary situation no gift should be insulting to the couple. I would say no less than $25 though.
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post #4 of 31
8/31/10 at 2:08pm
depends on how nice the wedding is. I would usually estimate the cost per person for the catering and then keep it around that level. Usually I'd just do $100 though.
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post #5 of 31
8/31/10 at 2:26pm
$25 to $50 is really cheap here in Cali. I give a minimum of $100. If its family, it is usually $200 to $300.
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post #6 of 31
8/31/10 at 2:33pm
we'll give 100 bucks to most people.

for my brother when he got married, i gave him 1900 bucks. yes, 1900, when i was trying to save myself for my wedding plans and engagement and was struggling with a new job.

i gave him 1900 in installments during his engagement. he would ask i need 400 for something something, i would give it to him. i need 600 for photo down payment. i give to him.

1900.

not much to most people here, i know, but to me it was A LOT.


the reason i mention this?

the twirp (and his wife) dont even remember. they say i didnt give him anything (including my wife's gift, my girlfriend at the time, her own money $200, and she was poor). WTF?
ingratitude talk about it. they say i gave him shit. ok mofo, i will show you shit.
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post #7 of 31
8/31/10 at 2:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xericx View Post
depends on how nice the wedding is. I would usually estimate the cost per person for the catering and then keep it around that level. Usually I'd just do $100 though.

This breaks all the wedding gift etiquette rules, if those are at all meaningful to you. They are not meaningful to everybody, though. The expense of the wedding should have no relationship to the expense of your gift.
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post #8 of 31
8/31/10 at 3:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
we'll give 100 bucks to most people.

for my brother when he got married, i gave him 1900 bucks. yes, 1900, when i was trying to save myself for my wedding plans and engagement and was struggling with a new job.

i gave him 1900 in installments during his engagement. he would ask i need 400 for something something, i would give it to him. i need 600 for photo down payment. i give to him.

1900.

not much to most people here, i know, but to me it was A LOT.


the reason i mention this?

the twirp (and his wife) dont even remember. they say i didnt give him anything (including my wife's gift, my girlfriend at the time, her own money $200, and she was poor). WTF?
ingratitude talk about it. they say i gave him shit. ok mofo, i will show you shit.

Thats grounds for dismissal
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post #9 of 31
8/31/10 at 4:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post

the reason i mention this?

the twirp (and his wife) dont even remember. they say i didnt give him anything (including my wife's gift, my girlfriend at the time, her own money $200, and she was poor). WTF?
ingratitude talk about it. they say i gave him shit. ok mofo, i will show you shit.


More of a reason to give little. People should not hurt their financial situation just so some jackasses can throw a party they can't afford and everyone will forget in 3 months. Not to mention those dicks will throw it all away by getting divorced 8 years later. Fuck you. Take my gift valued at $40 and shove it assfuckers with the $25,000 + wedding.

Obviously if I am in a much stronger financial situation I would be happy to give a large gift to a very good friend or loved one (or potentially lucrative client) but I don't see how it makes any sense to essentially bankroll someone elses party or their lifestyles.
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post #10 of 31
8/31/10 at 5:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
we'll give 100 bucks to most people.

for my brother when he got married, i gave him 1900 bucks. yes, 1900, when i was trying to save myself for my wedding plans and engagement and was struggling with a new job.

i gave him 1900 in installments during his engagement. he would ask i need 400 for something something, i would give it to him. i need 600 for photo down payment. i give to him.

1900.

not much to most people here, i know, but to me it was A LOT.


the reason i mention this?

the twirp (and his wife) dont even remember. they say i didnt give him anything (including my wife's gift, my girlfriend at the time, her own money $200, and she was poor). WTF?
ingratitude talk about it. they say i gave him shit. ok mofo, i will show you shit.

I pray you are exagerating.
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post #11 of 31
8/31/10 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by taxgenius69 View Post
I pray you are exagerating.

exaggerating what? the monetary amount, why? i gave him 1900 dollars. not hard to believe, i was making some money at that time, as little as it was, i still made money. i worked.



his forgetting it? why should i exaggerate? he forgot. he dismissed it. he says to this day i gave him a chess board cannnot recollect anything about money.



i somewhat agree with jodum above, especially in terms of close family members, hey, we give unconditionally , but you do want an acknowledgment, it is only human.

but for guests and friend of a friend wedding and i give hundred dollars? i dont care if they remember to give me a thank you note, because it was out of just plain giving. for some reason i dont care for accounting or acknowledgement on their end to me because they arent really that important to me. (however, fortunately, all the friends we've been to for their weddings were so gracious and were always proper in receiving their gifts anyways)

but my brother? dude he better remember one day.
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post #12 of 31
8/31/10 at 5:20pm
It depends on your own financial situation and what you consider appropriate to give. There is no answer that anyone else can give for you. I give a lot more $ and more expensive gifts now than I did 10 years ago - it's a reflection of what I feel comfortable with rather than any measure of my relationships with the people getting married.

Ask yourself the following question: if they asked you to use their registry for your gift, what busdget would you have considered when going through the registry... the $500 vase, two of these $30 plates ? What are you comfortable with?
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post #13 of 31
8/31/10 at 5:30pm
If you haven't kept in touch, I'd just not go.
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post #14 of 31
8/31/10 at 5:38pm
Any less than 3% of your net income and you are a prick.
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post #15 of 31
8/31/10 at 5:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
exaggerating what?

"the twirp (and his wife) dont even remember. they say i didnt give him anything (including my wife's gift, my girlfriend at the time, her own money $200, and she was poor). WTF?
ingratitude talk about it. they say i gave him shit. ok mofo, i will show you shit. "
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