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How to get over things your gf has done in the past.

post #1 of 227
Thread Starter 
I knew it was a bad idea to ask, though I did anyway.

Dreaded "how many guys before me" question...

I had a feeling she had a bit of history, but what can you do. I don't like the number, especially for her age, 20. She says obviously none of those people matter anymore, and she was a much different person then.

I really do love her a lot, can see us being together for a long, long time, but ever since she told me it's been constantly on my mind.

Have I doomed this relationship by asking? Or am I just overreacting and should move on, everyone does things...

It will only retract from the discussion if I don't say the amount, i'm #12.
post #2 of 227
I don't care how many people my exes have done.

And yes, you screwed yourself by asking.
post #3 of 227
If you really love her it shouldn't bother you this much. You're just insecure with yourself. What's driving you nuts is the fact that she can easily fuck around you.
post #4 of 227
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kajak View Post
I don't care how many people my exes have done.

And yes, you screwed yourself by asking.

Wow, subconscious typo?

And to the other poster, perhaps it is insecurity, though I had not thought of it that way. I have been with less people than her.
post #5 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
Or am I just overreacting and should move on
Yes. Come on, 12 is not a big number. 50 or 100 would probably be a problem, anything else not so much.
post #6 of 227
Did you realise there is the rule of three? When a man tells his number he usually inflates it by a factor 3. Women tend to decrease the number by a factor 3. This tells me you are actually #34.








But even if that is true, get over yourself.






PS
Myself, I have no self esteem issues, since I've slept with 3 women!
post #7 of 227
You hadn't considered that it could be your own insecurity bothering you? lolwut
post #8 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
I had a feeling she had a bit of history, but what can you do. I don't like the number, especially for her age, 20. She says obviously none of those people matter anymore, and she was a much different person then.

I really do love her a lot, can see us being together for a long, long time, but ever since she told me it's been constantly on my mind.

Stop it.
post #9 of 227
Dump the 'ho. There are plenty of 20 year old virgins out there. Time to break a few cherries - that will help you forget that she's been with at least 11 guys before you, but probably more like 77. (With girls it's a factor of 7.) If you really need incentive to dump the 'ho already, ask her if she's ever done anal. She'll most likely admit to it, but try to ameliorate her response by saying something like "I didn't really want to try it but my ex kept asking so I just gave in. I didn't like it though - it kinda hurt".

After that conversation, you'll have no trouble dumping her and finding someone purer who can at least count her sexual parters on one hand.
post #10 of 227
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by amerikajinda View Post
Dump the 'ho. There are plenty of 20 year old virgins out there. Time to break a few cherries - that will help you forget that she's been with at least 11 guys before you, but probably more like 77. (With girls it's a factor of 7.) If you really need incentive to dump the 'ho already, ask her if she's ever done anal. She'll most likely admit to it, but try to ameliorate her response by saying something like "I didn't really want to try it but my ex kept asking so I just gave in. I didn't like it though - it kinda hurt".

After that conversation, you'll have no trouble dumping her and finding someone purer who can at least count her sexual parters on one hand.

Ive popped cherries, and done anal.

Shes never done anal, we tried it last week, but she couldnt go through with it.

Anyway, fuck this snarky shit. I was looking for some legitimate advice, words, whatever.
post #11 of 227
You didn't ruin the relationship, you just fucked up your own calm. If you're insecure in this field (and rarely a young guy isn't) NEVER ask her anything about her past. It's better to be uninformed than to lose sleep because of that. I paid a lot to learn this lesson. Now it will stay on your mind for a long time, bet on it. But after some time, you'll forget about that. Her past is her past, don't dig into it. It's actually better that she has a lot of experience, she won't have to cheat on you just to know what it's like with other guys. But please, never ever ask her for details. (You'll want to, although it's masochistic and completely stupid.) Have a double whiskey, man up and don't repeat this mistake again. Good luck.
post #12 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
Ive popped cherries, and done anal.

Shes never done anal, we tried it last week, but she couldnt go through with it.

Anyway, fuck this snarky shit. I was looking for some legitimate advice, words, whatever.

What do you want to hear? It's meaningless, you shouldn't ask and/or care. We can't help with how you feel about it, that's your choice.
post #13 of 227
Thread Starter 
What about the whole t things people have done in the past may slightly define character veiwpoint?
post #14 of 227
Even if it does is it a more meaningful/telling way to determine her character than your day-to-day interaction with her?
post #15 of 227
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
What about the whole t things people have done in the past may slightly define character veiwpoint?

Is she a bitch just because she has slept with many men?! Either you love her or not. If yes, stop thinking about it because if anything will ruin the relationship, it will not be her past, but your immature behavior and fear.
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