Customer walks into the store. He looks startled when I say hello to him. I ask him what brings him in. He stumbles over his words and then walks over to a random shelf. "Yeah. Vitamin E," he says. He grabs the least expensive bottle of Vitamin E and walks to the counter.
I scan the bottle and tell him what the total is (about $3.50). He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a few bills and hands me a $100 bill (I see a five in his hand). I take the bill and rub it between my fingers. I start to raise it to the light to check for authenticity.
Before I can get the bill up to chest-level, he interjects, "Oh. It's real." With the bill now up to the light, I say, "No it's not."
Him: Huh? What are you talking about? It is.
Me: No, it's not. I can see the Lincoln face inside, and the watermark says "five dollars"
Him: What!? Let me see.
Me: Alright (I grab a black marker and write, "THIS IS FAKE" across the bottom and top of the bill)
Him: What are you doing man? That's my money
I hand him the bill, but he attempts to snatch it and tears it in half. We're both holding a piece.
Him: Man! You just ripped my money
Me: No. You ripped it. It's not worth any less now
Him: (Holding the bill up) "I can't see a Lincoln face inside. What are you talking about!?
Me: Yes you can. Besides, this is a really bad counterfeit. Whoever made it is a complete idiot. The paper wasn't even lined up properly at the bottom....a COMPLETE idiot (laughing).
I tear up the piece of the bill that I have. He demands that I give it to him, so I drop the shreds on the counter in front of him.
Him: So, you're going to tear up my money like that?
Me: (still laughing and ignoring him)
Him: Man, I want my money. It wasn't fake.
Me: (agitated) It was fake. You know it and I know it. You thought that you could come in, buy something cheap and get $90 worth of change. Get out of the store
Him: I'm getting my money back (storming off)
Me: I'm off at 6:30. Feel free to come and get it.