1.) A guy came in 45 minutes before closing time and wanted to buy some khakis. He told my colleague what he needed and my colleague gave him two pairs in his size. Minutes passed. It was now closing time. He was still trying on more pairs. The guy went back and forth between the shelves and the fitting room for a total of two and a half hours AFTER closing time. At the end, he decided not to buy anything and he left. During all that time, he tried and retried and RETRIED every pair of khakis in the store in his size COUNTLESS times before deciding he didn’t want to “commit” to any of them.
2.) A wife literally dragged her husband in to buy a new suit for an upcoming wedding. She said to me, “This man needs a new suit. He HAS to get a new suit for so-and-so’s wedding. Dress him up.” The husband didn’t want a new suit and she said he must buy a new one because his current suit wasn’t so current anymore. He succumbed and I brought out a few suits for him to consider along with some shirts and ties, etc. He still wasn’t keen on the idea of having to buy a new suit but his wife INSISTED that he does. After approximately 45 minutes, he finally decided on one that he liked—along with a new shirt and new tie and all other accessories—and he said to me, “I like THIS one. I’ll take all this. Wrap it up.” His wife then said, “Well, honey, you can’t buy from the first store we go to. We should shop around some more.” She then grabbed him by the arm and they both left. I never saw them again.
3.) A couple in their 50s came into the store one day and the husband’s arms were loaded with two mountains of clothing: sportcoats, dress pants, shirts, ties, suits (they’ve all been worn and were quite old). He told me that his son just recently switched jobs (no longer working a desk job and was now working in construction) and didn’t need all his business clothes anymore and he asked me to give him a refund on behalf of his son. I looked at the mountain of worn clothing and told him how on earth could I possibly give him a refund for used clothing? He said he didn’t understood what I meant. I told him to leave. He left and I never saw the fucker again.
4.) A young guy in his early 20s walked into the store one day and walked right up to a mannequin dressed in a double-breasted black suit (a suit, NOT A TUXEDO). He said to me, “I need a new tuxedo. I like wearing Italish tuxedos. I have to wear a tuxedo everyday. I work in a hotel and I like this Italish tuxedo you have here. I really like it. It’s very Italish. I need to buy a new tuxedo because I work in a hotel and I have to wear Italish tuxedos to work everyday.” He then turned around and left. I never saw him again.
5.) An early 40s man and his wife were wandering around the store and he was trying on various suit jackets on and it was obvious, even to a blind man, this guy didn’t have the first clue as to what he was doing. He was about a size 40R and he was trying on various jackets that weren’t even remotely close to fitting him. I walked up to him as he was trying on a 42T. I said to him that that size would be too long for him. He said he had monkey arms and he needed the longer arm length. I told him jacket sleeves could be lengthened and that jacket torso length was more important than jacket sleeve length. He gave me the Look Of Death and said very curtly, “Thank you.” I was momentarily taken back by this and quietly suggested he try on a 40R. His wife didn’t even look at me the entire time and she, with her back turned to me the entire time, took a 40R off the hanger and gave it to her husband to try on. He flexed his arms and said, “Too tight.” I told him, very reassuringly, that that is the correct size for him, even indicating with my own arms flexed, how the shoulders should fit and look. I then showed him how much extra fabric he had around the girth and that we would have to taper the jacket. I would guess his waist size to be approximately 33” or 34”. The 40R jacket’s girth was HUGE on him. Again, he gave me the Look Of Death and said again, very curtly, “Thank you.” I looked him straight in the eye for half a nanosecond, turned on my heels and walked away from the fucker. No fucking sale is worth this sort of fucking bullshit rude ignorance from this stupid redneck hillbilly asshole.
( . . . more to come as I try to remember more incidents . . . . )
