Originally Posted by mbalder2
I'm 22 and believe me.... stay with her.
Girls come and go... but if you have something special... keep it going.
If you guys fight alot, i would say re-evaluate everything (things will never change). If everything is calm and you are "freaked out" because you're friends are getting theirs, relax.
Very well said. I'm 21 and I feel the same way. This is also something that Johnson addresses in We
"Many years ago a wise friend gave me a name for human love. She called it "stirring-the-oatmeal" love. She was right: within this phrase, if we will humble ourselves enough to look, is the very essence of what human love is, and it shows us the principal differences between human love and romance.
Stirring oatmeal is a humble act-not exciting or thrilling. But it symbolizes a relatedness that brings love down to earth. It represents a willingness to share ordinary human life, to find meaning in the simple, unromantic tasks: earning a living, living within a budget, putting out the garbage, feeding the baby in the middle of the night. To "stir the oatmeal" means to find the relatedness, the value, even the beauty, in simple and ordinary things, not to eternally demand a cosmic drama, an entertainment, or an extraordinary intensity in everything. Like the rice hulling of the Zen monks, the spinning wheel of Ghandi, the tent making of Saint Paul, it represents the discovery of the sacred in the midst of the humble and ordinary.
Jung once said that feeling is a matter of the small. And in human love, we can see that it is true. The real relatedness between two people is experienced in the small tasks they do together: the quiet conversation when the day's upheavals are at rest, the soft word of understanding, the daily companionship, the encouragement offered in a difficult moment, the small gift when least expected, the spontaneous gesture of love.
Love is willing to do these "oatmeal" things of life because it is related to a person, not a projection."
Those that don't end up reading the book should at least take away this idea. Those that do read the book will have a more nuanced understanding of what Johnson and his friend are talking about here.
Finally, I'd like to point out that, more than likely, your friends probably aren't getting theirs, or at least they aren't getting as much as you think they are.