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Office Romance?

post #1 of 29
8/13/06 at 12:31am
Thread Starter 
Gentlemen and Ladies - I have pressing issue I was hoping I could get some feedback on. I am a junior person (25 yrs old) in a small private equity shop (8 investment professionals), and our firm recently got a gorgeous receptionist in our office two weeks ago. I have tried to refrain from talking to her much (knowing my temptation level), but we have started to flirt back and forth over the past few days over the office instant messenger.

So I am in a big conundrum here...I find this woman extremely attractive (it doesn't help she is perfectly my type), and would love to ask her on a date, but am scared of any negative reprecussions that might come from the situation (i.e., she says no and the rest of the office finds out, etc...). Any tips on the best way to proceed here?

Thx!
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post #2 of 29
8/13/06 at 1:05am
I don't know how it works over there in Sweden, but I'd hate to risk a fat salaried job in PE over the receptionist.
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post #3 of 29
8/13/06 at 2:20am
I would suggest with a firm your size it is a very bad idea to date the receptionist (no matter how attractive she is). You might be able to get away with it at a large corporation with hundreds of employees in one office, even then I wouldn't advise it, but with an office with less than 20 people you're asking for trouble.

A.
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post #4 of 29
8/13/06 at 2:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by FRATERNITYSTUD
Gentlemen and Ladies - I have pressing issue I was hoping I could get some feedback on. I am a junior person (25 yrs old) in a small private equity shop (8 investment professionals), and our firm recently got a gorgeous receptionist in our office two weeks ago. I have tried to refrain from talking to her much (knowing my temptation level), but we have started to flirt back and forth over the past few days over the office instant messenger.

So I am in a big conundrum here...I find this woman extremely attractive (it doesn't help she is perfectly my type), and would love to ask her on a date, but am scared of any negative reprecussions that might come from the situation (i.e., she says no and the rest of the office finds out, etc...). Any tips on the best way to proceed here?

Thx!

Don't.
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post #5 of 29
8/13/06 at 2:55am
Only if you really really really like her and feel she is worth the risk.

As they say, don't *(@# where you eat.
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post #6 of 29
8/13/06 at 3:50am
There should not be any risk as long as flirting does not deminish work performance. My advise is don't ask her out on a date. Why not plan something with her? Go bike riding on a sunday afternoon running yogga .. i donno .. or .. you can say that you have this cool event (80s theme party) to go to but you are not so sure what outfit to buy. Tell her to come to mall and pick out an outfit for you. Whatever you do, try not to use word "date" or traditional dinner date.
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post #7 of 29
8/13/06 at 4:09am
I made the mistake of sleeping with 4-5 chicks at my last job, and to tell you the truth...while it was fun, it caused quite a bit of drama, and problems for me in the end. Keep your pen out of company ink, for what it's worth.
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post #8 of 29
8/13/06 at 9:49am
If it's a big salarie say that she could be your "housegirlfriend" when your dating and if it doesn't work between you then you should help her to get a new job.
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post #9 of 29
8/13/06 at 10:31am
You live in a town where the typical woman is incredibly beautiful. Yes she's attractive but I think you're going gaga because she's near you. Look out on the street, there's thousands more equally attractive.
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post #10 of 29
8/13/06 at 11:54am
Don't flirt on the office IM. Everything can be recorded, and if somehow things were to go downhill quickly it could be a liability.
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post #11 of 29
8/13/06 at 9:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stach
You live in a town where the typical woman is incredibly beautiful. Yes she's attractive but I think you're going gaga because she's near you. Look out on the street, there's thousands more equally attractive.

Wasn't it Hannibal Lecter that said "we covet what we see every day"? That statement is completely true. I know from personal experience how easy it is to fall in to that trap. I even started messing around with a girl that I wouldn't otherwise have been attracted to. It was a clear case of "when pussy chases us, we can't run that fast." (chris rock said that :P)

Anyway, you live in sweden dude. There are tons of very pretty girls there. Take a pass on this one and move on to the next. Of course, some people need to be burned before they learn... Actually, I think most of us do. Should you go ahead with it, I can guarantee you that you won't make the same mistake twice.
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post #12 of 29
8/13/06 at 10:04pm
If you are interested in a relationship then go for it. If it is all sex that you want, then I will be hesitant
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post #13 of 29
8/14/06 at 10:29am
Wait til the office christmas party to make your move and let it end there but keep flirting so that when both of you are toasted at the party it'll be easier to do your business with little consequence. Or even better, take her out with some of the other bankers for some innocent high roller fun then do your business and forget about it. In other words, keep it strictly as a one night affair and dont give her any illusions about anything developing afterwards
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post #14 of 29
8/14/06 at 11:00am
One problem is what if you get promoted at some point and are her boss? That would be real uncomfortable.
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post #15 of 29
8/14/06 at 12:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plasdom
If you are interested in a relationship then go for it. If it is all sex that you want, then I will be hesitant

That's terrible advice. If he got in to a relationship with this girl then it would likely be even worse when it came to an end than if he just banged her once and moved on (assuming she was fine with casual sex). Ask yourself how many relationships end cleanly, and then consider that he'd be forced to see her every day even after it ended. And it would come to an end because realistically, what are the chances of him marrying her?
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