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How would you deal with the "wannabee baller" friend? - Page 5

post #61 of 380
Quote:
Originally Posted by gomestar View Post
.:KWilk:
..,_|_/...\\_|_,
.... |,........ |,
..../*\\...../**\\

Nice
post #62 of 380
Thread Starter 
One time, douche friend, me, and my other friend ryan went to a club to unwind and have some fun. Douche friend kept trying to hit on girls (while me and ryan just caught up on old times and had a few drinks). No one would dance with him. Perhaps it was his douchey attitude, or his horrible, horrible horrible dance moves, but he soon became angry.

He tried to dance with this one tall, club footed, mongoloid looking girl, but she did the fingersnapheadbob and said "uh-uh i don't dance with asians". Which ended with him flicking the girl off and screaming obscenities at her over the loud music. He started drunk douche dancing in the middle of the dance area, and couples/groups began to move off the floor. Me and ryan are watching this from afar, trying to avoid anyone connecting him to us. One bro near me excalimed "Man that guy's drunk!" (I should add that he had no alcohol in him, he was doing all this completely sober).

After a few minutes of him acting like a sociopath on the dance floor, we try to grab him to tell him it is time to leave. But he shouts "LET ME DANCE IT OFF" as he lies down on the floor and starts humping it/ running in a circle while lying on the ground. We don't really know what to do. We decide to get more drinks and when we come back, he is shaking his mercedes benz keys at girls trying to get them to dance with him.

Like I said, I have hundreds of these stories, and I am taking the bullet in order to share his adventures with the rest of the world.
post #63 of 380
you should rename this thread "my friend is the asian male Snookie"
post #64 of 380
Is he vietnamese perchance?
post #65 of 380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saltricks View Post
Thing is, one time me and my other friend paid him cash for dinner (including tip) and he was to pay with his card and leave tip. He tells us to head to the car and he'd take care of it. I'm a bit suspicious so I tell my friend to go back and check how much he left for tip while I walked him to the car. Guess how much he left on the tip line:

Zero dollars.

He basically took me and my friends tip money and padded his own wallet with it. We essentially yelled at him for hours, telling him how pathetic he was for driving a benz and not being able to tip even a little bit (it wasn't even his own money for godsakes) and trying to cover it up on top of that. We thought that would straighten him out, but I guess it didn't.

Saltricks. i dont know how far back you go with this friend. But if he is just a new office friend or recently acquired (I would assume not because you guys reprimanded him), I would discontinue being friends with him.

A person like that would bring utter shame to myself i wouldnt stand to even be seen with a person like that.
post #66 of 380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saltricks View Post
One time, douche friend, me, and my other friend ryan went to a club to unwind and have some fun. Douche friend kept trying to hit on girls (while me and ryan just caught up on old times and had a few drinks). No one would dance with him. Perhaps it was his douchey attitude, or his horrible, horrible horrible dance moves, but he soon became angry.

He tried to dance with this one tall, club footed, mongoloid looking girl, but she did the fingersnapheadbob and said "uh-uh i don't dance with asians". Which ended with him flicking the girl off and screaming obscenities at her over the loud music. He started drunk douche dancing in the middle of the dance area, and couples/groups began to move off the floor. Me and ryan are watching this from afar, trying to avoid anyone connecting him to us. One bro near me excalimed "Man that guy's drunk!" (I should add that he had no alcohol in him, he was doing all this completely sober).

After a few minutes of him acting like a sociopath on the dance floor, we try to grab him to tell him it is time to leave. But he shouts "LET ME DANCE IT OFF" as he lies down on the floor and starts humping it/ running in a circle while lying on the ground. We don't really know what to do. We decide to get more drinks and when we come back, he is shaking his mercedes benz keys at girls trying to get them to dance with him.

Like I said, I have hundreds of these stories, and I am taking the bullet in order to share his adventures with the rest of the world.


this was entertaining. sorry, but do you have more of these stories?
post #67 of 380
This guy actually sounds funny. You can't take him everywhere, but you'll have funny stories.
post #68 of 380
Wannabe Baller Dude is the new Pat. Look out, FLMM!
post #69 of 380
ok. i noticed you are in Walnut. near rowland heights. lot of young asians there act like this unfortunately. i understand now
post #70 of 380
Thread Starter 
Hmm I guess I can give one more story (the rest will be in my book)

This happened in college.

It was me, ryan, and douchefriend. They were visiting me at UCI, douchefriend had been visiting from North Dakota (he was going to school there another funny story). We were at the University Center perusing Urban Gorilla, the neighborhood douche uniform store. Back in those days, I dressed pretty "douche-like", but hey, I was young what can I say. I was checking out some of the true religion jeans (300 dollars on sale! ) and I look behind to see the REALLY cute SA "flirting" with douchefriend! Lucky him, I thought. (I have to say he isn't bad looking, but when he starts talking... ) Anyway, she gets him to try on these clothes that are obviously too big, obviously too expensive, and obviously sewn by a colorblind mental patient with stubby fingers, but she convinced him to buy it because of the big versace logo on the back. He clumsily tried to ask her out on a date, but she said she was busy (the sale was closed at that point). So began the night of terror.

As he drove us around in his mercedes, he kept harping on about what a bitch that girl was. One gem I can remember was "If I was 6'2" white and blonde hair, she woulda had sex with me right there. Just opened her fucking legs. But since I'm asian, fuck no!". Some background: Earlier in life, douchefriend had fallen in love with nazi propaganda. Their uniforms, the hypnotic lure of the swatstika, and apparently, the idea of a master race of aryan supermen all began to burrow themselves into his psyche, tainting his self esteem forever. He missed a turn and decided to pull an illegal u-turn IN FRONT OF THE POLICE STATION, which happened to have an onduty officer pulling out of it. Obviously the siren blared and we were pulled over. Douchefriend is foaming at the mouth from anger, and he starts screaming profanities so loud that the cop reaches for his gun. Douchefriend shuts up immediately. He hands him his outofstate drivers license (north dakota) and the African American cop reads the name on the card with suspicion. I can't say douchefriend's last name, but let's just say it's not a normal last name (especially on an asian) and it could be slightly-majorly offensive to a black person. One hour passes by (all of which douchefriend spends slinging racial epitaphs mixed in with "stupid deputy donut pig") before the cop returns it, along with a 300 dollar ticket.

Back at my dorm, douchefriend goes apeshit and starts tearing shit up. He literally ripped off his sleeve, and he threw his phone against the wall, shattering it. We took this as a cue to move elsewhere, so I introduced ryan to my friends while douchefriend threw his hissyfit. When we returned, he was "talking" to his mother on the phone about his ticket and the stupid black cop who had given it to him...except the battery on his cellphone was obviously still lying on the ground. I decided to call it a night right there.

Surprisingly, my friends all remarked how "normal" he seemed, even after I related these stories to them. Am I living through American Psycho? Is douchefriend going to lure me to his apartment and axe me to death to the sounds of phil collin's susudio? Only time will tell.
post #71 of 380
I remember seeing one of these guys once at nordstrom...just basically ran up to a sales associate and asked for true religions...like really loud so everyone around could hear him. the overhyped asian, see a lot of this at the "hot" clubs in vegas.
post #72 of 380
this book will be a bestseller



i say keep him as a friend. awesome stories
post #73 of 380
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xericx View Post
I remember seeing one of these guys once at nordstrom...just basically ran up to a sales associate and asked for true religions...like really loud so everyone around could hear him. the overhyped asian, see a lot of this at the "hot" clubs in vegas.

Oh mah god. This is gonna get added into the story. You have changed history my friend.
post #74 of 380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saltricks View Post
When we returned, he was "talking" to his mother on the phone about his ticket and the stupid black cop who had given it to him...except the battery on his cellphone was obviously still lying on the ground. I decided to call it a night right there.

BAHAHAHAHA epic!!! Keep it up and this thread will be a favourite on SF...
post #75 of 380
What the fuck, how do you grow up into someone like that? Fuck.
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