Just a little tidbit before the next post:
So yesterday, douchefriend posts a link on my facebook wall with a link to the AE Hyde Parks, which are patent leather.

I say, yeah they look nice, but they will probably only work for tuxedos. He says that he wants to get a pair that he can wear with his baggy, 2 sizes too big black suit with skinny (black) tie. "Yeah," he said, "I can even wear them with my (ratty) true religions!". Out of the entire allen edmonds line, he somehow picks the most inappropriate choice for a second pair of shoes. You must agree that, regardless of your opinion of patent leather black shoes, these are NOT a good choice for a second pair of shoes (his first being stained Bruno Magli captoes). I'd show him this site to help him understand, but...well, there are certain reasons that make that not possible.