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[Need Advice!] girl problems.... - Page 3

post #31 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbam
yea.. but thats the problem in the first place. Im not looking for someone to just sleep with and pull a one-nighter, im lookin for someone to really connect with and be in a happy relationship with..

i havent had so much in common wit a girl before as i had wit her so its tough when all the signs point to danger


Good lord, man, run away. She does not want a relationship. If she did you'd be set.

You are quite literally in the same situation that I was describing above--it will not work. No matter how perfect you think things could be with her (things in common, physical attraction, etc.) if she isn't into it--and she's clearly not as evidenced by her behavior so far and by what your friends have said--that's that.

bob
post #32 of 53
Thread Starter 
well thanks for the input. Ill just wait it out like you guys said. She does call me like almost every night or so, so ill just talk to her occasionally and if she asks me to do anything, ill just go out wit her if im not busy.

Ill see how things go in a few weeks or so, but in the mean time probably shouldnt devote to much time.
post #33 of 53
i'd advise against waiting it out, just leave it as it is- going further with a girl like that in all probability will give you more trouble than what its worth.
post #34 of 53
The problem with kids today (I'm 21 ) is that they view relationships as a transaction, looking to get as much as they can in exchange for, often, the least input. That's what this girl seems to be doing. On the one hand, she deserves nothing better to be treated the same way.

On the other, it's a trap that you can fall into which will get in the way of a more serious relationship.

I've often debated with myself the merits of sleeping around while looking for the right one. I think it's a reasonable path to take (as long as you're not misleading girls into thinking it's any more) as it keeps you sane, and with a healthy perception of your own attractiveness, which will help you net the right girl in the long run. On the other hand, you can often get bogged down in it and end up missing real opportunities. Or worse, getting a reputation as the wrong kind of guy.

It was very prescient of whichever movie star (Charlie Sheen I think) - himself easily capable of picking and choosing his women - to note that he paid prostitutes not to have sex with him, but to leave afterwards.

I'm not advocating ladies of the night, just for the record. But just making the point that there's really no sex to be had gratis, without at least some emotional and social commitment.

Best of luck,

Eden
post #35 of 53
Thread Starter 
hey guys.. just an update

i did keep my guard against her.. she would text me and stuff like that and i do respond juss to be respectful.. she wanted me too meet her at a bar, I told her maybe but i didnt show up and told her few days later i was occupied with something else (I believe she got quite upset).. We did go out this past weekend just cause i told her id take her out ...

but of course she still plays those damned games i.e. tellin me she would call me after work but never call or tellin me to wait for her so she could hang out wit me but never showup/dissapear for the night or something stupid.

Although I would like to ignore her.. it seems she always wants to get my attention somehow.. I think i still like her.. i guess.. but i could care less now i think

So, I think im just gonna go up to her and tell her i like her. If she rejects me, meh oh well - ill give her some heartbreakin speech and make her feel miserable and walk away. If she likes me, well maybe something will actually happen or maybe ill get laid. Win win situation i think. Good plan?

I dont really just wanna ignore it all cause im kinda pissed off of these games
post #36 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbam
So, I think im just gonna go up to her and tell her i like her. If she rejects me, meh oh well - ill give her some heartbreakin speech and make her feel miserable and walk away. If she likes me, well maybe something will actually happen or maybe ill get laid. Win win situation i think. Good plan?

No. You're walking down the path of destruction, failure, and endless nights whackin off to a memory. Hope your porno collection is good.

I dont know why you just dont hang out with her at some point, get likkered up a bit, and make a move on her. If she is totally grossed out by that you can blame the cheap booze. If she is receptive, then you're good to go. I dont get this whole "give her an ultimatum" thing...were you raised to pee sitting down, because your actions as you indicate are very pussy, and girls dont like pussies unless they're bi..!!

but keep us posted on what happens, I like stuff like this, helps replace the lack of quality teen drama like 90210 or Dawson's Creek in my life
post #37 of 53
Snap!

(+1)

BTW, if not Jason's plan, then give her the let's just be friends speech (she will be very confused) and then date her friends. Not in a passive aggressive attempt to get her, she just undoubtedly has hot friends.
post #38 of 53
Thread Starter 
Well see i would do the get trashed idea, but she finds very drunk guys very unattractive (i.e. i will not get any if i do that).. like i said, she likes to play games so she will get drunk, get u drunk, flirt wit u like no other than ditch. It will end me wit a bad case of blueballs.

Im 100% sure the only way in is by messin wit her emotions based on the long talks we had and my observations

Friends speech will get me nothing. And her friends are either ugly, HIV-infested kinda slutty, or very hot but has a boyfriend

but like i said ill keep u posted
post #39 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by imageWIS
Yeah…and they are fucking retards. Sorry if this offends anyone, but chicks our age (I’m 23, you guys are a bit younger…but not by much) are morons. I don’t mean in an intellectually sort of way, I mean when it comes to relationships. They just can’t seem to hold one together, it’s all a game of smoke and mirrors. If they like a person, they should go out with them, if not they end up losing them; seriously, their attitude is insanely masochistic. Sorry, rant over. Jon.
I would agree with you on this if you are referring to American girls. But there is more to be learned. Involve and abuse yourself.
post #40 of 53
I agree with Getsmart. I think in order to really know if she wants you, you have to make a move. She herself probably doesn't know the answer because it is such an emotional reaction. But first you should try to stack the odds for yourself - if EtOH won't do it, you may have to try good old fashioned romance.
post #41 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbam
And her friends are either ugly, HIV-infested kinda slutty, or very hot but has a boyfriend
Really?!?!?
post #42 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbam
So, I think im just gonna go up to her and tell her i like her. If she rejects me, meh oh well - ill give her some heartbreakin speech and make her feel miserable and walk away. If she likes me, well maybe something will actually happen or maybe ill get laid. Win win situation i think. Good plan?

I dont really just wanna ignore it all cause im kinda pissed off of these games

Do NOT Do This. I REPEAT DO NOT DO THIS. She is an AW. You will NEVER get what you want like this, if ever. Simply fade away from her life. CUT OFF the Drama--that is her blood stream.

In upcoming days--answer less and less of her calls, never even remotly show that you are ignoring her on purpose. Just seem busy (even though you are not) and slowly fade away from her life. Trust me, if you do this right- it will itch her for years to come as to why you never replied to her.

Again, NO Drama or emotional speeches. That is Exactly what she wants... playing you like a puppet (perhaps for fun). case in point
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbam

Although I would like to ignore her.. it seems she always wants to get my attention somehow..


In case you still don't get it--(check you PM also)

You are done with her. This is going nowhere close to a relationship.

take care
later...
post #43 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnapril
I would agree with you on this if you are referring to American girls. But there is more to be learned. Involve and abuse yourself.

Nah...Argentinean girls are about the same. Actually, if anything, American girls are easier.

Jon.
post #44 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrysalid
post #45 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by imageWIS
Nah...Argentinean girls are about the same. Actually, if anything, American girls are easier.

Jon.

I think I know who you are. Did you grow up in Visalia?
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