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The want of something is better than having it.

post #1 of 21
7/19/10 at 2:08pm
Thread Starter 
Agree or disagree?

I tend to find everything I've ever wanted, as soon as I get it, it disappoints and ceases to become desirable. Maybe I hype things in my head too much but in any case the pursuit of it becomes far more gratifying than the ends................



I'm going to be a miserable person.
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post #2 of 21
7/19/10 at 2:13pm
I agree for the most part, but really try to make sure I sort of pause to recognize the accomplishment of achieving a goal. It would be sad to never take a minute to reflect on something positive.
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post #3 of 21
7/19/10 at 2:19pm
Disagree. I'd rather have the girl across the bar for the night than want to have her and not having her.
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post #4 of 21
7/19/10 at 2:25pm
Maybe when you're pursuing something you only think of the positive outcomes of having it? Like the cute girl, you don't think about how she'll spend your money, cheat on you, get in fights with you...though those are possible realities once you have her.

Same for a new car, you don't think about how it will need new tires, a new head gasket, get stolen, etc.

Maybe those inherent negatives are what leads to disappointment? I know I don't think I would be disappointed with a perfect girl for example, but none are perfect, which means you will always end up disappointed.

In general I agree, I've found that as soon as I get the girl I've been wanting, I start searching for the NEXT girl to want..
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post #5 of 21
7/19/10 at 2:55pm
the journey/arrival analogy is often true for intangibles and tangibles. I think in a large part it depends on ones perception of attaining it beforehand, how much we build it up to ourselves before getting it.
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post #6 of 21
7/19/10 at 3:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by longskate88 View Post
Maybe when you're pursuing something you only think of the positive outcomes of having it? Like the cute girl, you don't think about how she'll spend your money, cheat on you, get in fights with you...though those are possible realities once you have her.

Same for a new car, you don't think about how it will need new tires, a new head gasket, get stolen, etc.

Maybe those inherent negatives are what leads to disappointment? I know I don't think I would be disappointed with a perfect girl for example, but none are perfect, which means you will always end up disappointed.

In general I agree, I've found that as soon as I get the girl I've been wanting, I start searching for the NEXT girl to want..

the 'show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you some guy who's tired of f****n her' idea. You know she's your perfect but when her 'perfection' wears off, it wears off
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post #7 of 21
7/19/10 at 3:40pm
agree.
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post #8 of 21
7/19/10 at 3:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Britalian View Post
the 'show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you some guy who's tired of f****n her' idea. You know she's your perfect but when her 'perfection' wears off, it wears off

wait... but what about 80% of all 80's movies and 99.9% of all romantic comedies? you mean that is not the blueprint for happiness?
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post #9 of 21
7/19/10 at 3:56pm
Disagree. You are just not good at divining what you really want. I used to get buyer's remorse on a lot of things, but the things I really truly want and work to have these days are worth it because I chose wisely. Overconsumption has a lot to do with this phenomenon today. *Be more selective* is my advice to you.
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post #10 of 21
7/19/10 at 3:59pm
I would rephrase and say the "journey is more gratifying than the destination". The want of something, without the effort or progress in getting it, is not particularly fun. The path to getting it though is quite rewarding, moreso than the destination often times. I won't say always though. I will blow your minds and add that the memory of having gotten/achieved something is often better than getting it in the first place.
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post #11 of 21
7/19/10 at 4:03pm
I'm starting to find that the ends are more gratifying, usually because the journey seems perniciously fraught with irritations and pitfalls
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post #12 of 21
7/19/10 at 4:10pm
Personally, I enjoy both the getting and the having, but I may need therapy or something. It may also have to do with the fact that I don't expect things to make me happy, so I'm not disappointed when they don't.

I think Douglas is right too. A bit of introspection and selectivity about what it is that you pursue probably part of it.
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post #13 of 21
7/19/10 at 4:17pm
i dont agree. i think it applies to buyer's remorse though, but when you actually get what you want, i am more happy.
case in point. i need/desire a new car. as soon as i got it, i had years of tremendous practical enjoyment stemming off of having a nice working car: get to work, have a work, be able to drive anywhere, etc.



i think your point more applies to times and situations though. like, the anticipation of the weekend is more enjoyable than the actual weekend sometimes. true.

i find the thursday more enjoyable, when the weekend comes on occasion it is relegated to doing more work around the house or doing chores. it was more enjoyable to know the weekend was coming though.
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post #14 of 21
7/19/10 at 4:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post
Disagree. You are just not good at divining what you really want.

I used to get buyer's remorse on a lot of things, but the things I really truly want and work to have these days are worth it because I chose wisely.

Overconsumption has a lot to do with this phenomenon today. *Be more selective* is my advice to you.

Hmmm. Posts like this make me question your custom title. I'm going to have to think about this a bit.
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post #15 of 21
7/19/10 at 4:57pm
1 Timothy 6: 7-10 states, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil".
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