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Is there friendship between a man and a woman? - Page 3

post #31 of 142
7/15/10 at 12:48am
honestly, whenever i've met a cool guy and thought that he just wanted to be buddies with me (i flatter myself sometimes that i'm 'one of the guys', though i'm girlie as hell), it seems like something weird always ends up happening...the awkward hand on the thigh after he's been drinking, the embarrassing comments his friends make, the fact that we can never really talk about sex without things getting weird...

so, i don't know. i've been friends with gay guys before, but i've never really had a straight platonic friendship. things seem to be platonic until one or both of us start drinking, then things just get awkward.
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post #32 of 142
7/15/10 at 12:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by scottcw View Post
Wasn't the final word on this subject When Harry Met Sally?

I can be more specific on this...the final word on this subject was when Harry boned Sally.
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post #33 of 142
7/15/10 at 12:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomgirl View Post
honestly, whenever i've met a cool guy and thought that he just wanted to be buddies with me (i flatter myself sometimes that i'm 'one of the guys', though i'm girlie as hell), it seems like something weird always ends up happening...the awkward hand on the thigh after he's been drinking, the embarrassing comments his friends make, the fact that we can never really talk about sex without things getting weird... so, i don't know. i've been friends with gay guys before, but i've never really had a straight platonic friendship. things seem to be platonic until one or both of us start drinking, then things just get awkward.
yup...and there is nothing worse than being That Guy (and face it, we've all been there), while you are sitting there thinking 'it's great, I have found a dude who I can talk to, and he's not trying to get into my pants and [blaaaah]' while he is sitting there beating himself up in his head or off in his bed trying to strategise exactly how he goes about hitting that.... Or - and as per the case I mentioned earlier - I was the one sitting there thinking 'ok, i declared i dont have female friends, but she's great and is awesome to talk to' and so on, while she was sitting there thinking 'huzzzband'....
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post #34 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:02am
One of my best friends is female, she's my flatmate. Both of us are not interested in each other. She's too short/chubby etc for me and I've other girls to hang around. So I can be great friends with her, we have a lot of common interests as well as lots of interests to keep things interesting. I don't care when she brings a guy over to her room and screams her lungs out. We are going snowbarding together in 2 days, I will be chasing girls and she will be chasing boys. We help out each other in this area, it works great!
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post #35 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post

Or - and as per the case I mentioned earlier - I was the one sitting there thinking 'ok, i declared i dont have female friends, but she's great and is awesome to talk to' and so on, while she was sitting there thinking 'huzzzband'....

seriously? there are chicks who try to be pals with guys in order to husbandise them!?

the world is a sick, sad place...

(just as an aside, are these girls ugly? is that why there's a lack of interest?)
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post #36 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:06am
you don't know me very well no....far from it. She just felt like I understood her and was so right for her and so supportive of her and all of that...and she was right...I was...just not in the way she saw it ultimately unfolding. edit - that was slightly unfair...she was also exactly the same for me - understands me very well, knows when to smack me into line, very supportive of me with some of the various things i have been through myself, and, despite our current differences, probably still is My Closest Friend...but point still stands, she was looking at that long term in a way that honestly never occurred to me, and it ended ugly accordingly.
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post #37 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:07am
It's possible but I tend to notice that after some time things pretty much fall apart. Right now I really only have 1.5 true female friends that I talk to often. The .5 I've been friends with for about a year now. A good friend of one of my best friends. I'm 27 and she's just turning 21 so there's a bit of a disconnect there and she's the one that always initiates contact so that's why I consider .5 of a true female friend. The other one I've been friends with for 9 years now and we talk every couple days and hang out once or twice a month. She's ridiculously hot but I don't really think of her that way as we've been friends for so long and just mesh really well together conversationally.


Quote:
Originally Posted by tomgirl View Post
honestly, whenever i've met a cool guy and thought that he just wanted to be buddies with me (i flatter myself sometimes that i'm 'one of the guys', though i'm girlie as hell), it seems like something weird always ends up happening...the awkward hand on the thigh after he's been drinking, the embarrassing comments his friends make, the fact that we can never really talk about sex without things getting weird...

so, i don't know. i've been friends with gay guys before, but i've never really had a straight platonic friendship. things seem to be platonic until one or both of us start drinking, then things just get awkward.

My hand slipped I swear. I didn't know it was going to land on your thigh.
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post #38 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:11am
i'm pretty sure when i try to become friends with guys, it has a lot to do with the fact that i have two older brothers i was constantly trying to impress while growing up. there's still this weird need to be accepted into the dudes club. i suppose i always think "he'll think this is awesome because i love [insert random thing guy likes] too!"

that, and everyone knows guys are funnier than girls.
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post #39 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BDC2823 View Post
She's ridiculously hot but I don't really think of her that way as we've been friends for so long and just mesh really well together conversationally.


do you think time erases sexiness, or merely dulls its effects?

maybe after the 9 year bench mark, you both start thinking "well...the sex would probably be awful at this point, anyway."
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post #40 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:14am
Assuming one/both are of at least mediocre attractiveness, barring sexual orientation ruling anything out, one will at some point in time be attracted to the other. However, that doesn't mean they can't be friends. Case in point: one of my best gal friends is a girl that I tried to date early (like, 8th grade). She was interested in older guys, and I was rejected... However, throughout high school I hung out with other people & she didn't really hang out with anyone other than the old crowd from middle school, and after high school, we went to different schools (her Case Western). Surprisingly, we started talking again, while she was fawning over some guy (who she is dating now), and I was interested in another girl (who led me on and broke my heart). Since we reestablished our relationship while both of us were interested in other people, we developed a sort of brother-sister relationship, where she could essentially tell me whatever she was thinking, and I would do the same. It was nice. Also, all the women I partied with and were generally part of the group of people I hung out with in high school are friends of mine. And they're moderately to very attractive. Great sources of advice, these ladies are.
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post #41 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomgirl View Post
that, and everyone knows guys are funnier than girls.

Not on this board.
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post #42 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krish the Fish View Post
Great sources of advice, these ladies are.
FWIW, I happen to think they are the worst possible sources of advice, and tend to spout only the obvious, idealised version of situations (well, certainly as they pertain to matters involving other women anyhow), when it comes to talking non-relationship-related matters, they are only as good as their intelligence, which is unrelated to their gender... God, why do I always get lured into this conversation? It's like waving carbon fumes at Artisan Fan...
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post #43 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by scottcw View Post
Not on this board.

finally someone with some sense.

i'm just going presume a lot of things and take that as a compliment, because i wholeheartedly agree.
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post #44 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomgirl View Post
do you think time erases sexiness, or merely dulls its effects?

maybe after the 9 year bench mark, you both start thinking "well...the sex would probably be awful at this point, anyway."

I don't know. She's still a really sexy girl and I don't find her any less attractive than before, but its not about sex with her. I guess I'd rather jut have her as a friend than try to or have sex with her and possibly screw up the relationship we have. It's kinda hard to explain. I guess I've gotten to know who she is as a person so well and we've spent a lot of time together to the point where we mesh so well that I easily just look past the outside facade.
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post #45 of 142
7/15/10 at 1:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by scottcw View Post
Wasn't the final word on this subject When Harry Met Sally?

Ding Ding Ding

Quote:
Originally Posted by tomgirl View Post
do you think time erases sexiness, or merely dulls its effects?

maybe after the 9 year bench mark, you both start thinking "well...the sex would probably be awful at this point, anyway."

Both. But bad sex is better than no sex.
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