Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas 
Funny you mention that: Mrs. T got along famously with my paternal grandmother (a rather feisty lady) - they talked incessantly, and she got more of the family history and gossip from her than any of us blood relatives. I ended up with some of the more interesting Army memorabilia (c.WWII) and came to understand him much more, after his passing. But I spent a lot of time talking with my maternal grandfather and heard all his stories. Sent him a Christmas card one year with a picture of an airplane on it: he called: he recognized the plane because he'd flown it, and then he told me why it was a terrible plane and you don't see that wing configuration anymore. That was a 45 minute conversation that only ended when his voice gave out, and even then I was reluctant to let it go.
my paternal grandmother on the other hand lives with my folks, 10 minutes away from my place. as much as I wanna warm up to her, language and her being so absorbed with herself prevents me from doing so. she can only speak fookien, and I'm terrible at it plus she tend to wallow in self-pity (I'm dying... I'm going blind... life is so hard....) when honestly she's healthier than your average 90 year old and the more you try to sympathize with her the more she goes on about her "poor" condition. I guess its her way of asking for attention but it really spoils the mood, and even when her great grandkids visit, she can only get amused for a few minutes before she realizes that I'm around and she goes back to complaining about her life. with everything going great she still makes things sound so negative... so sad, specially since I was told decades ago she has a lot of very interesting stories to share about our family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwiffo
My parents are doing fine even though my mother didn't even have kids till she was 31. I give them a monthly stipend - mostly because my apartment is tiny and their house is a storage area. My grandparents on the other hand were 30 years older than my parents so only 1 is still alive. My maternal grandparents were pretty well off so they had in home care (servants) in Canada. I went a few times to the hospital and nursing home before they passed. My paternal grandmother had a stroke. She couldn't talk and bounced from hospital to nursing home. There was no hope for recovery and she was half paralyzed. I had no job then and drove every week 2x to see her, once by myself. Her hospital had terrible radio reception so I recorded news on the Internet in her native language and played it for her on an iPod. That's how she learnt about things like Sept 11 (she cried, tears only in one eye)) and the Golden Jubilee. I ended up even washing her a few times in the end (nursing homes only wash you x times a week). She passed away shortly after. My father was accompanying me on the trips originally but gradually faded off. I think he felt helpless but I felt it was my duty to continue. My paternal grandfather is 91 and moved to a nursing home 2 years ago. I visit him every Wednesday night - spend about 30 minutes talking to him and bringing goodies over. Every weekend I either go with my parents or aunt to take him out for lunch or I do lunch + dinner at my aunt's house. Sometimes if I have few or no meetings on Friday afternoons, I pop by to bring him fruits. It helps he's about 4 subway stops away from home & work. Oh and that I'm single and have weekends to burn like this. My grandfather curses and complains and wishes to die and I have nothing in common with him (he was a lazy person, drank till he had a stroke in middle age, was permanently hung over days of the week, gambled all his money away) but it's a burden - some people want it and they can't have it.
