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Massage

post #1 of 25
7/11/10 at 7:56am
Thread Starter 
I got a massage today. My first one ever. I didn't fart or get an erection, but I can see how it would be very easy to do either of those things. So I'm wondering, excluding 'happy ending' massages, which you're all so cleverly thinking of referencing right now, have you had an issue farting or popping wood during a massage?
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post #2 of 25
7/11/10 at 8:26am
I just got my first about a month ago, my wife bought me one for Father's Day. I actually was concerned about getting a woody as well. But the woman who did me was not real attractive, so it was not a problem. If she had been, that might have been another story.
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post #3 of 25
7/11/10 at 9:48am
Thread Starter 
This woman was maybe around 40, chinese. Bigger woman, but not huge. She actually touched my scrotum and rubbed my ass for quite awhile. The nutsack thing was just incidental, nothing intentional I'm sure. But the ass rubbing.... if this was a hot girl I'd probably have had to walk out of the room with my hands down my pants.
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post #4 of 25
7/11/10 at 10:11am
Yep. Really good looking girl in jeans giving me a massage and was standing over my head with her legs on either side. My head was just about between her legs. My junk woke up!
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post #5 of 25
7/11/10 at 12:27pm
erections are not unusual for masseurs.
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post #6 of 25
7/11/10 at 12:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Gatsby View Post
The nutsack thing was just incidental, nothing intentional I'm sure. But the ass rubbing.... if this was a hot girl I'd probably have had to walk out of the room with my hands down my pants.

That's your mistake. The touching the nutsack thing is never accidental. It's the sign that they are willing to give you the happy ending but want to make sure you aren't a cop. Say something like, "that's nice" when she does it and she'll start working it more and give you manual release.
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post #7 of 25
7/11/10 at 1:28pm
I've gotten quite a few massages. Most of them have been painful, which has distracted me from any potential eroticism and kept me flaccid. However, I did once go to a, exotic looking osteopath for help with a hip flexor problem. She was very gentle, starting at my hip and working slowly inwards across the hip flexor. I lay on my back, wearing nothing but little running shorts, blissfully relaxed. Once her hand got into my pubic hairs, there was no stopping it; I responded, and the thin material of my shorts was hoisted up into a tent of embarrassment and awkwardness. No happy ending.
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post #8 of 25
7/11/10 at 2:13pm
nice one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Working Stiff View Post
I've gotten quite a few massages. Most of them have been painful, which has distracted me from any potential eroticism and kept me flaccid. However, I did once go to a, exotic looking osteopath for help with a hip flexor problem. She was very gentle, starting at my hip and working slowly inwards across the hip flexor. I lay on my back, wearing nothing but little running shorts, blissfully relaxed. Once her hand got into my pubic hairs, there was no stopping it; I responded, and the thin material of my shorts was hoisted up into a tent of embarrassment and awkwardness. No happy ending.


i remember getting his and her's massages with my wife and just got back from 36hr duty and forced myself to go to avoid the cancellation fee. i was enjoying the massage then promptly fell into deep sleep. I was roused when i felt my penis getting fondled... i totally forgot where i was and kept my eyes closed and realized that my masseuse was very hot... then i got a hard on and my wife chimes in: "WHAT THE FUCK YOU'D ACTUALLY LET SOME MASSEUSE BITCH JERK YOU OFF?!"

My wife and the masseuses noticed that i was totally asleep and decided to just let me sleep while my wife finished off her massage alone. after the masseuses left, my wife tried to play a little joke on me and give me a "happy ending" and it turned into a huge fight... FML
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post #9 of 25
7/11/10 at 2:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LawrenceMD View Post
i remember getting his and her's massages with my wife and just got back from 36hr duty and forced myself to go to avoid the cancellation fee. i was enjoying the massage then promptly fell into deep sleep. I was roused when i felt my penis getting fondled... i totally forgot where i was and kept my eyes closed and realized that my masseuse was very hot... then i got a hard on and my wife chimes in: "WHAT THE FUCK YOU'D ACTUALLY LET SOME MASSEUSE BITCH JERK YOU OFF?!"

My wife and the masseuses noticed that i was totally asleep and decided to just let me sleep while my wife finished off her massage alone. after the masseuses left, my wife tried to play a little joke on me and give me a "happy ending" and it turned into a huge fight... FML

That is hilarious.

I usually get hard during massages, at least for a little while. Usually when they massage my booty.
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post #10 of 25
7/11/10 at 2:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LawrenceMD View Post
nice one.




i remember getting his and her's massages with my wife and just got back from 36hr duty and forced myself to go to avoid the cancellation fee. i was enjoying the massage then promptly fell into deep sleep. I was roused when i felt my penis getting fondled... i totally forgot where i was and kept my eyes closed and realized that my masseuse was very hot... then i got a hard on and my wife chimes in: "WHAT THE FUCK YOU'D ACTUALLY LET SOME MASSEUSE BITCH JERK YOU OFF?!"

My wife and the masseuses noticed that i was totally asleep and decided to just let me sleep while my wife finished off her massage alone. after the masseuses left, my wife tried to play a little joke on me and give me a "happy ending" and it turned into a huge fight... FML

dude... really
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post #11 of 25
7/11/10 at 5:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post
That's your mistake. The touching the nutsack thing is never accidental. It's the sign that they are willing to give you the happy ending but want to make sure you aren't a cop. Say something like, "that's nice" when she does it and she'll start working it more and give you manual release.


Al Gore, is that you?
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post #12 of 25
7/11/10 at 5:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LawrenceMD View Post
nice one.




i remember getting his and her's massages with my wife and just got back from 36hr duty and forced myself to go to avoid the cancellation fee. i was enjoying the massage then promptly fell into deep sleep. I was roused when i felt my penis getting fondled... i totally forgot where i was and kept my eyes closed and realized that my masseuse was very hot... then i got a hard on and my wife chimes in: "WHAT THE FUCK YOU'D ACTUALLY LET SOME MASSEUSE BITCH JERK YOU OFF?!"

My wife and the masseuses noticed that i was totally asleep and decided to just let me sleep while my wife finished off her massage alone. after the masseuses left, my wife tried to play a little joke on me and give me a "happy ending" and it turned into a huge fight... FML

entrapment.
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post #13 of 25
7/11/10 at 5:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LawrenceMD View Post
nice one.




i remember getting his and her's massages with my wife and just got back from 36hr duty and forced myself to go to avoid the cancellation fee. i was enjoying the massage then promptly fell into deep sleep. I was roused when i felt my penis getting fondled... i totally forgot where i was and kept my eyes closed and realized that my masseuse was very hot... then i got a hard on and my wife chimes in: "WHAT THE FUCK YOU'D ACTUALLY LET SOME MASSEUSE BITCH JERK YOU OFF?!"

My wife and the masseuses noticed that i was totally asleep and decided to just let me sleep while my wife finished off her massage alone. after the masseuses left, my wife tried to play a little joke on me and give me a "happy ending" and it turned into a huge fight... FML

Your wife is crazy.
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post #14 of 25
7/11/10 at 6:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
Your wife is crazy.

+10
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post #15 of 25
7/11/10 at 9:44pm
anyone heard of "lingam massage"?
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