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How to take a crap or fart when a girl is at your house?

post #1 of 92
7/3/10 at 6:24am
Thread Starter 
Let's say you don't know her well enough, or you're well mannered enough, not to fart or crap in front of the girl. How can you do it secretly when she's over? What are some techniques that have proved useful to you in the past?
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post #2 of 92
7/3/10 at 6:43am
Rather than having her just pull your finger, you could put a nice glove on, then have her pull your finger.
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post #3 of 92
7/3/10 at 7:32am
The first fart signifies the end of the honeymoon phase.
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post #4 of 92
7/3/10 at 7:59am
Ask her if she'd like to join you.
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post #5 of 92
7/3/10 at 8:02am
There is no easy way to do this successfully - unless you tell her that you have to run out because you forgot something (coffee, cigarettes, milk, etc.)
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post #6 of 92
7/3/10 at 8:17am
Take a shower (not after sex), turn the shower on, take crap, take quick shower. Dingle-free and she is none the wiser.
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post #7 of 92
7/3/10 at 5:18pm
say u gotta take a piss
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post #8 of 92
7/3/10 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamish5178 View Post
Take a shower (not after sex), turn the shower on, take crap, take quick shower.

Dingle-free and she is none the wiser.

Good trick. Running water is an absolute must. Conversely, I always turn on some music when a girl goes to the bathroom so she feels comfortable doing whatever in there.

Generally I just hold out until they leave in the morning and then immediately go to the bathroom. In fact I had an uncomfortably long waiting experience this morning as she insisted on getting brunch delivery at my place.
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post #9 of 92
7/4/10 at 7:41am
If you are nervous about farting in front of a girl, farting in front of a girl is the least of your problems.

Just let rip and take it in your stride, if you act weird about it or expect her to get offended you are setting yourself up for failure.

Would you really want to be married to some horrible woman who thinks farts aren't funny? It is a good qualifier for wife material.

Obviously you have to hold your fire in polite situations, but if you're watching TV together and having a beer, any man who is afraid of dropping his guts can't be trusted.
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post #10 of 92
7/4/10 at 7:42am
Play tennis with her
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post #11 of 92
7/4/10 at 9:16pm
^ lulz
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post #12 of 92
7/5/10 at 2:09am
I fart openly, any girl who can't handle that I have bodily functions isn't a girl I want around me.
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post #13 of 92
7/5/10 at 4:39am
Go to the bathroom and stay there. I got a girlfriend that everytime ( I was horny ) she used that coolant trick on me. If not say, LINE, BIIIINGO,, after the prfttttpprrftt noise.
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post #14 of 92
7/5/10 at 6:13am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpallaCamiccia View Post
Go to the bathroom and stay there.

I got a girlfriend that everytime ( I was horny ) she used that coolant trick on me.

If not say, LINE, BIIIINGO,, after the prfttttpprrftt noise.

What is the coolant trick?
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post #15 of 92
7/5/10 at 1:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Good trick. Running water is an absolute must. Conversely, I always turn on some music when a girl goes to the bathroom so she feels comfortable doing whatever in there.

Generally I just hold out until they leave in the morning and then immediately go to the bathroom. In fact I had an uncomfortably long waiting experience this morning as she insisted on getting brunch delivery at my place.

The only thing bad about that is that sometimes the humidity from the steam makes the shit smell 100x worse. And the fan doesn't always take it all out. So you open the door and a wall of shitastic fragrance comes flying out of the bathroom.
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