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ITT: Describe your near death experiences

post #1 of 111
7/2/10 at 8:55pm
Thread Starter 
I don't have any good ones so I'll defer to y'alls. Though I'll start with some crappy ones:

Once in 5th grade I was making fun of this kid in school a lot. One day we were in the study hall room (really a large closet) doing some work or something, just the two of us. No, this is not the beginning of a gay porn. I kept on ribbing him on and he finally snapped and picked up the scissors on the table. He was about to stab me, his arm cocked back in position to strike down on me. I was like "dude...uhh....relax....sorry", and we just stood there in freeze frame for a second before the teacher opened the door and sent us to detention. If she never came in I wonder how things would have turned out...he definitely wasn't "all there" that day. Needless to say I stopped making fun of kids after that. Good lesson.
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post #2 of 111
7/2/10 at 8:56pm
i got into a car accident.
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post #3 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:00pm
A rather large coin got stuck in my throat. The X-Ray is hilarious.
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post #4 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:11pm
Almost was hit by a drunk driver going about 30-40... he crashed into a lightpost instead.
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post #5 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:19pm
Dengue fever contracted on a trip to the Far East. in my fever-induced delirium my bedsheets started off trying to strangle me to death...and then morphed into the Virgin Mary
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post #6 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:24pm
Walked across this while drunk at night. Took 30 minutes. A train appeared at the other end 30 seconds from us being across. Ran the last 50 meters and climbed over the fence as the train approached. Also was in a multiple rollover in southern Idaho, not belted in. Vehicle totaled. Five guys, no one even broke anything. One guy did pass out for ten minutes, and two of us rode to the hospital on backboards. At least a few of us should have been dead.
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post #7 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:47pm
several accidents, one as a newborn that was apparently almost catastrophic.

Hit in the head with a baseball bat once.

Was at the pool once, this guy I was with was really drunk and was holding me underwater (I think I pissed him off earlier) and I literally had a fight or flight moment, scratched the fuck out of him. Was out of breath for about five minutes after that.

Playing golf a few years ago and went looking for my ball in the woods. Couldn't see their were guys about to tee off and he sliced it right toward our cart. Just barely hit the bar thing on the cart that was next to my head, made my ears ring. Never been more nervous finishing a round.

Not sure if this counts but Thursday this plane flew really fucking low over Atlanta. The windows on our fourth floor office started shaking.
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post #8 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by edinatlanta View Post
Was at the pool once, this guy I was with was really drunk and was holding me underwater (I think I pissed him off earlier) and I literally had a fight or flight moment, scratched the fuck out of him. Was out of breath for about five minutes after that.

Almost drowning isn't really funny, but when your fight or flight mechanism kicks in and you decide to scratch someone as your "fight" response, that's pretty damn
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post #9 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:52pm
Right seat in an airplane crash. Multi-instrument failure in the clouds with low ceilings. I don't have time to go into detail right now.
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post #10 of 111
7/2/10 at 9:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
Almost drowning isn't really funny, but when your fight or flight mechanism kicks in and you decide to scratch someone as your "fight" response, that's pretty damn

I couldn't do anything else. I remember it was like I felt his shoulder and I kept thrashing in the water and it was just easiest to do that. Asshole.
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post #11 of 111
7/2/10 at 11:15pm
... almost drowned in an underwater cave in my college years (I can't swim), and once was wrestling with a friend in his place and fell on a chair with an arrow sticking out... missed my torso by maybe 3".
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post #12 of 111
7/2/10 at 11:29pm
A drug-crazed speed freak had a knife at my throat one night at a house party. I thought it was the end. The rest of the people in the room talked him down, and then tossed him out. One incident was self-inflicted: pretty massive overdose of some downers. Had a friend of mine not recognized the trouble I was in I probably wouldn't be typing this. Common thread in the experiences steered me away from everything but weed.
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post #13 of 111
7/2/10 at 11:38pm
drank so much passed out and almost drowned in my vomit

if it hadn't been for my best friend who held me up and called an ambulance i would have died
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post #14 of 111
7/3/10 at 12:21am
Im highly allergic to nuts, foolishly ate a giant chunk of fudge without checking the ingredients (made with pure peanut butter), and in 15 minutes went into anaphylactic shock. I passed out, hyperventilated, turned into a giant strawberry. I had to shoot myself with an epi pen, but I had so much, it really didnt do anything. Mrs. Spoo rushed me to the hospital and I could barely breathe, they got me on some serious IVs and steroids, and in a few hours was released but they said I was about 10 minutes from dead. All for some fucking fudge In the hospital room I was talking to my 6 month old daugher who I thought was in the room. Clearly hallucinating. Pretty weird. True story : in the midst of anaphylactic shock, I went into a denial stage and thought everything was fine, and got on the laptop, started posting on SF and looking for shoes on eBay. This was this past December - I wish I had the patience to go back and re-read what I wrote
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post #15 of 111
7/3/10 at 1:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpooPoker View Post
True story : in the midst of anaphylactic shock, I went into a denial stage and thought everything was fine, and got on the laptop, started posting on SF and looking for shoes on eBay. This was this past December - I wish I had the patience to go back and re-read what I wrote
Wow! That's scary, glad everything worked out okay.
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