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post #61 of 94
Thread Starter 
I forgot about this thread!

I remember when I called this girl that I had known for awhile a bitch for no particular reason (long story, alcohol involved). So I baked her a cake as an apology. Thing is, I didn't know how to make a cake. I tried to make home made fondant out of marshmellow and sugar (big BIG mistake), which ended up melting in the microwave and turning into glue-like goo. The cake itself was decent tasting, but the fondant was a melty, avant-garde nightmare. Unfortunately, didn't take a picture, but this is similar to waht it looked like:



I didn't get any "brownie" points for that gift. Hoho!

Also, I forgot about another gift I received when I was younger. A friend of my father's named a star after me at the star registry(essentially snake oil salesmen). So now there is a star called Bryan out there named after me (my name is Salvador).
post #62 of 94
No Human Fund donation leaflets?

I'm a little disappointed.

post #63 of 94


The conversation leading up to every purchase of a Best Buy gift card:

"What should we get (insert person)? He probably got you something so you need to get him something in return."

"I don't know. A fuckin' Best Buy gift card. Or Target. I don't give a shit."
post #64 of 94
My mother and sister gave me a one-year subscription to Cat Fancy magazine. You know...because I adopted a cat last year.
post #65 of 94
We didn't have very much money when I was growing up, because we were living off my dad's stipend. One Christmas was particularly hard on us, so as we were on our way to the mall to see Santa Claus, they told me that my grandmother had cancer, that it would take a real miracle for her to survive. The idea was that I would ask Santa for her to survive, and on Christmas morning, we would receive "miraculous news" that grandma was cured. That way, they don't have to spend any money on a big gift, I am on my best behavior for Santa, and I am happy that grandma gets to live. Everyone wins!

Christmas morning comes, and we receive the call. "Oh my god, great news little Dedalus! Grandma is going to live! This is a real Christmas miracle!" That's the year I stopped believing in Santa, the year that I didn't get my inheritance.
post #66 of 94
^ Noice! Almost as good as mine.
post #67 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by tagutcow View Post
On one occasion, my parents got a present from our next-door neighbors. They unwrapped it to discover it was a... well, we didn't know what the hell it was supposed to be, and to this day, we're still unsure. It was this horrendously tacky injection-molded plastic thing, vaguely Eastern in design, about 12"x10"x10", and painted in a faux-aged copper patina. On the top was a tent-shaped lid that covered a rectangular indentation about the size of a pack of cigarettes. My guess is that it was supposed to be some sort of cat sarcophagus or an urn you'd put a cat's ashes in (our neighbors were definite cat people, as we are to a lesser extent.) Thank God my parents didn't unwrap it with the neighbors present. "Oh wow! It's... this! We were just talking about how much we need one of... these... things."
pics?
My parents gave it to my sister and brother-in-law, who put it on their mantle. As it happens, I went to their house for July 4, and managed to get one out-of-focus photo of this object before my camera ran out of battery power. Over to the right of it are the ashes of three of their cats in little labelled cardboard boxes.
post #68 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
^ Noice! Almost as good as mine.
Haha yeah! Hilarious, just silly stuff I made up...haha...
post #69 of 94
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tagutcow View Post
My parents gave it to my sister and brother-in-law, who put it on their mantle. As it happens, I went to their house for July 4, and managed to get one out-of-focus photo of this object before my camera ran out of battery power.



Over to the right of it are the ashes of three of their cats in little labelled cardboard boxes.

dear god
post #70 of 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davidko19 View Post
Wow. i cant believe OHenry even wrote a story about that too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_the_Magi


stop fraudin.

Thanks jokekiller, that post had at least a few more funny responses in it.
post #71 of 94
I got an electric toothbrush once for Christmas when I was 14, turns out its the only gift that I still use.
post #72 of 94
herpes
post #73 of 94
..
post #74 of 94
A twilight tee shirt. Actually, that was an amazingly funny gift.
post #75 of 94
back when I was 10 or 11, my godparents gave me one of those japanese anime robot toys which was so cool. thing is when I opened it I noticed the plastic "metal" parts of the robot was tarnished, the styrofoam box was damaged and it was missing some weapons. a few weeks later we visited their house and I saw tjeir kid has the same fucking toy with a new box and all shiny and complete.

year after that they gave me 4 crates of eggs.
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