Originally Posted by wilson brother
8 years without cuddling??
To get to the solution you must know the problem
.. so why not talk about these things with your girl?
I didn't say 8 years without cuddling.
And, what I meant by talking about solutions instead of problems is this:
Talking about problems (bad): "Oh man hun, my life is going so badly. My job really sucks and I hate it. I'm not making enough money to support my shoe obsession. I don't know what I'm going to do. What do you think I should do?"
Talking about solutions (good): "Man hun, I hate my job and I'm not making a lot of money so I think I'm going to go back to school for another year to get a better degree. This should qualify me for a better position at that firm across town. Then, we're going to have plenty of money for my shoe obsession and for you to buy a couple of nice new dresses. It's going to be awesome."
The first one makes you sound like a whiney little girl. The second makes you sound like a stable, dependable man who has his life under control and will be there for the girl when she really needs him. There is a fundamental difference between these two approaches and the way women react to them. As much as guys here want to call what I'm saying stereotyping and what not, I still believe that a woman wants to be with a man who's dependanble and who she can lean on when times get tough. If your girl perceives you as a whiney needy little complainer who has no solutions and who needs her to solve his problems for him, that's a recipe for her losing interest, which is what your relationship sounds like. The sex may be good, but you can't base a stable, loving, caring relationship on sex alone.