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Commitment phobia

post #1 of 32
6/18/10 at 2:34am
Thread Starter 
How did you get over it?

It's a cliche but it's real. Every time I feel myself getting close to someone, even someone who is a total catch that I should be grateful for, I end up becoming completely phobic to the idea of being together with them for the long run. It's pretty messed up - not sure how commitment phobic people end up happy if they continually go through these cycles...
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post #2 of 32
6/18/10 at 2:37am
No woman would ever love you anyway, so don't feel like you're missing anything. Does this help at all?
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post #3 of 32
6/18/10 at 2:38am
Subscribed; I love how in the beginning, there's that whole butterflies feeling and the first couple weeks are bliss...then fast forward another week or month depending, and you're wondering what excuse to use so you can have the night free to go on a first date with someone else For me it related to sex...up until the first time you do it, there's all the exciting possibilities and feelings you think you'll have. Then after a few times, it feels like 'onto the next one...' Once I feel like there's nothing new to be gained by hanging out with them BESIDES the things that come from commitment (marriage, living together, kids, etc) I get restless really quickly.
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post #4 of 32
6/18/10 at 2:41am
Shit, sucks to be you.
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post #5 of 32
6/18/10 at 2:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
Shit, sucks to be you.

Aren't you a commitophile? I think I am, but really don't have enough experience to know. Opposite sides of the same coin.
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post #6 of 32
6/18/10 at 4:03am
from what i've learned in all those stupid romance movies, its probably coz you haven't met the one you really want to commit to
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post #7 of 32
6/18/10 at 4:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
How did you get over it?

It's a cliche but it's real. Every time I feel myself getting close to someone, even someone who is a total catch that I should be grateful for, I end up becoming completely phobic to the idea of being together with them for the long run. It's pretty messed up - not sure how commitment phobic people end up happy if they continually go through these cycles...

If you cannot come up with any good reasons "why not", then you need to give it a chance until you prove your doubts right. A fear of commitment is pretty normal for guys, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You just need to give the people you meet a chance. They might not be the right one, but they can teach you a lot about yourself and what you want.
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post #8 of 32
6/18/10 at 4:48am
I am eager to learn who will win the contest of biggest quarterlife crisis currently raging between MetroStyles and FidelCashFlow.
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post #9 of 32
6/18/10 at 4:57am
Commitment in Four Simple Steps by Dr. California




1. After playing the field and experiencing a slew of shallow relationships, you'll get fed up with how vapid your life is.

2. Out of sheer boredom you'll force yourself into a relationship, just to do it.

3. You'll realize, "I can do it! I can date someone for 3 months! " and you'll feel like the cat's pajamas because you did something you previously thought was not within your arsenal of capabilities.

4. Easy progression from there (i.e. if you can do 3, you can probably do 4)
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post #10 of 32
6/18/10 at 6:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
Aren't you a commitophile? I think I am, but really don't have enough experience to know. Opposite sides of the same coin.

Well I'm not saying I am, but I haven't been single in 6 years despite having 4 girlfriends in that time.
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post #11 of 32
6/18/10 at 6:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by longskate88 View Post
For me it related to sex...up until the first time you do it, there's all the exciting possibilities and feelings you think you'll have. Then after a few times, it feels like 'onto the next one...'
ummm you're doing it wrong man. The sex gets better and better for at least 6 months. in my experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
Well I'm not saying I am, but I haven't been single in 6 years despite having 4 girlfriends in that time.
holy cow. Did you have each one lined up before you broke up with the previous one, or just got into a relationship real quick after each break up?
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post #12 of 32
6/18/10 at 6:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by hendrix View Post
holy cow. Did you have each one lined up before you broke up with the previous one, or just got into a relationship real quick after each break up?

He can balance two at once.
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post #13 of 32
6/18/10 at 6:57am
We all have it. You can't get rid of it but only try to keep it in check. Being in a relationship means killing a natural part of being a man; which is sleeping with as many girls as you can.
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post #14 of 32
6/18/10 at 7:31am
Quote:
Originally Posted by hendrix View Post
ummm you're doing it wrong man. The sex gets better and better for at least 6 months. in my experience.

This is true, after which you hit "peak sex," a condition usually brought about by a lack of fresh ideas and an abortive attempt at anal.
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post #15 of 32
6/18/10 at 8:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by hendrix View Post
ummm you're doing it wrong man. The sex gets better and better for at least 6 months. in my experience.



holy cow. Did you have each one lined up before you broke up with the previous one, or just got into a relationship real quick after each break up?

Yeah, dumped the first for her friend, dumped her friend for a much prettier and better girl, dumped that girl for a girl who I could talk to as an equal

@holymadness if at first you don't succeed at anal, tease and tease again until they beg for it
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