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Gas Issues during Tennis

post #1 of 27
6/17/10 at 5:34pm
Thread Starter 
I have a REAL huge dilemma lately and I don't know the solution. The story is:

I was playing tennis yesterday and it was a small local tournament with $2000 in prize money. It was the semi-finals and I was playing really well and I believe was up 6-2, 5-1 then all of a sudden the worst thing happened.

I hit a huge serve and my opponent barely got it over and I got over excited and hit the ball as hard as I could... FARTING in the process. The ball was out by the way. Everyone started laughing at me and I just lost total focus. I didn't win a single game after that point.... I lost:

6-2, 5-7, 0-6

My question is, how can I stop this from happening again? Is it normal to fart when hitting the ball so hard?
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post #2 of 27
6/17/10 at 6:10pm
I think this is one of the main obstacles keeping most people below a true 5.0 rating.
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post #3 of 27
6/17/10 at 6:50pm
Are there hedges around the tennis courts?
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post #4 of 27
6/17/10 at 7:19pm
Take a dizzump before your match.
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post #5 of 27
6/17/10 at 7:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by uvmboi13 View Post
I have a REAL huge dilemma lately and I don't know the solution. The story is:

I was playing tennis yesterday and it was a small local tournament with $2000 in prize money. It was the semi-finals and I was playing really well and I believe was up 6-2, 5-1 then all of a sudden the worst thing happened.

I hit a huge serve and my opponent barely got it over and I got over excited and hit the ball as hard as I could... FARTING in the process. The ball was out by the way. Everyone started laughing at me and I just lost total focus. I didn't win a single game after that point.... I lost:

6-2, 5-7, 0-6

My question is, how can I stop this from happening again? Is it normal to fart when hitting the ball so hard?

I don't see the dilemma.

To fart or not to fart? Is that the question? Is it nobeler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous line judges or by arguing, thus get expelled?
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post #6 of 27
6/17/10 at 9:45pm
Why do you think the pros grunt at each hit? They're covering up for the air poopies.
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post #7 of 27
6/17/10 at 9:58pm
Exactly how loud was the fart?
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post #8 of 27
6/17/10 at 10:00pm
WTF. you lost your focus from something like that? Tennis hinges on mental strength.
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post #9 of 27
6/17/10 at 10:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
expelled

Very punny
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post #10 of 27
6/18/10 at 1:18am
I hope you weren't wearing white shorts!
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post #11 of 27
6/18/10 at 1:57am
Hit harder, and fart harder. Just don't shit in your shorts.
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post #12 of 27
6/18/10 at 12:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by chenc View Post
Just don't shart in your shorts.

fyp
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post #13 of 27
6/18/10 at 2:17pm
I'm a competitive golfer at the regional level and I've seen this happen to other players (and myself) when teeing off. While the games are different, hitting a tennis ball and a golf ball use sudden bursts of energy. My opinion, don't let it bother you because it's happened to most players. Next time you let one rip...just go out and beat your opponent and people won't even remember.
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post #14 of 27
6/18/10 at 4:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Bardamu View Post
Very punny

Thank you. I was afraid no one that might read this thread would get it.
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post #15 of 27
6/19/10 at 9:37am
Funniest thread ever
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