Soliciting life/career/happiness/self-actualization advice! - Page 2

Well, food is a continual experience. It's everyday, food is very important to me. I wasn't saying you should prioritize the same things I do, I was using my own interests as an example. Clothes, cars, plasma tvs can be fulfilling if they hold significance to you.

Traveling again, is an experience and continual for me. I don't just go, and sate myself on those memories, I just like to go around.

In the end, experiences enrich you, the individual, while stuff doesn't necessarily stick with you. There's always exceptions where you have a few favourite things and will never part with them. You can't adopt someone else's lifestyle choice and think you'll be happy, just find what works for you.

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I have no answers for you, but over the years I've started to think that to be really "self-fulfilled" you need to believe in some kind of religion or greater purpose (full disclosure: I don't). No matter how many great friends you have, no matter how wonderful your wife is, no matter how much you love your kids, all of it is a fragile construct without a deeper foundation underneath. Those things can all unfortunately be taken away from you, and then what do you have? That remainder, what's left over is the foundation that I think you need to be "self-fulfilled" as you put it. It's what gives you a feeling of inexplicable joy instead of emptiness in those fleeting moments before falling into sleep or before reaching full consciousness when waking up. The still moments that give you a glimpse below the surface, when your mind isn't racing with everyday prosaic thoughts and worries. Otherwise, all you are doing is putting your self-fulfillment in external events or states. And doing that really isn't self-fulfillment, is it?

Good post, just to comment, I tried this for a day: Basically, pretend you're religious for a day. Anything that happens, "God's will". It's kind of comforting thinking that there is some higher power or purpose out there than your boss, you gf, your job, you car, etc since those things come and go. I'm also not religious

Some people share your thoughts... http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Indust...ocial_problems

this is great.

I would add a few things - you really need to identify what you "need" out of life. we often try to fight our needs, that is never a path to true happiness.

finding a job you like, some possetions (not all, and not to many) bring you happiness. health, good food. a certain level of status, if you need it. the right level of social interaction - some people need more, some need less.

Sorry, I meant to say "get some cool friends, a nice career that you like, and eat good foods."

Alcohol helps me ignore these questions.

that was beautifully written

Provocative. Interesting question...

How would you plan a two week vacation if you knew you would remember none of it?

This may be helpful: the Hindus have claimed you must achieve 1. artha (power/money/wealth), 2. kama (sensual pleasure/love) before you are mature enough to pursue 3. moksha (wisdom- mental liberation). The first two are essentially the pursuit of desire, which is the cage even the most apparently nonmaterialist people are bound by (a charitable old nun still wakes up everyday struggling after positive sensations (joy from helping people, etc), no matter how meritorious they may seem). Moksha is the total abandonment of the physical world and all personal sentiments whatsoever, and requires one be prepared to lose all the selfhood behind their mind, even the very perception of consciousness. ...not an easy task, and it is therefore no coincidence that the Buddha was a wealthy prince with 'all maidens at his disposal' before he became a monk. So, in other words, satisfy your natural curiosity for money and sex before you move on to 'self actualization'

I suggest you commit a petty crime. Prison can accelerate the process of self-actualization a great deal.

This is really good. Lately I've been thinking that there isn't some occupation or activity that brings me true happiness (actually there is but I opt not to pursue it because it yields a negative expectation long-term, but I digress) so I focus on the little things in life that are important: Good food and drink, travel, music, meeting people & creating meaningful relationships, and a good shave.

From previous thread on this topic: "People who go on fun vacations or rock out at concerts are better liked than those who use their money to buy fancy cars and jewelry, according to findings from a University of Colorado-Boulder psychology professor. Leaf Van Boven has spent a decade studying the social costs and benefits of pursuing happiness through life experiences. He says people are mistaken to think that buying material items will gain status and admiration, or improve social relationships. "In fact, it seems to have exactly the opposite effect," Van Boven said in a news release. "This is really problematic because we know that having quality social relationships is one of the best predictors of happiness, health and well-being." Van Boven's most recent study, co-authored by CU-Boulder marketing professor Margaret Campbell and Cornell University professor Thomas Gilovich, appears in this month's edition of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. For the study, Van Boven and his colleagues conducted five experiments with undergraduate students and through a national survey. They explored whether people had unfavorable stereotypes of materialistic people and gauged if those stereotypes led them to like the materialistic people less than those who pursued life experiences. In one experiment, undergraduates who didn't know each other were randomly paired and assigned to discuss either a material possession or a life experience. After talking for 15 or 20 minutes, they were then asked about their conversation partners by the researchers. "What we found was that people who had discussed their material possessions liked their conversation partner less than those who had discussed an experience they had purchased," Van Boven said. "They also were less interested in forming a friendship with them." In another experiment using a national survey, the researchers told people about someone who had purchased a material item such as a new shirt or a life experience like a concert ticket. They then asked them a number of questions about that person. They found that simply learning that someone made a material purchase caused them to like him or her less than learning that someone made an experiential purchase. So what's the take-home message for people compelled to spend a lot of money on things? Van Boven urges them to change. Research has showed that materialistic people are also less happy and more prone to depression. " Read more: http://www.coloradodaily.com/ci_1487...#ixzz0mjgYjmfX