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Has anyone here eloped?

post #1 of 49
5/15/10 at 8:25pm
Thread Starter 
I'm nowhere near ready to get married but the idea seems compelling. The idea of a traditional wedding has always turned me off - from the pomposity of the ceremony, to the church, to the $50K bill (whether I am paying or the bride's family, I can't help but feel it is unnecessary). It just never seemed intimate to me. But I'm weird.

Anyway, eloping sounds like a fun idea. Spontaneous, exciting, and just you and your bride. It's also somewhat risque and taboo in that you are not inviting people to the wedding who expected to be invited. Which only makes it more appealing, in a forbidden way.

Of course I would expect to come back and throw a big, expensive party for everyone who would have gotten invited to the wedding had there been one. I think the biggest challenge would be actually lucking out and having a fiance who hasn't been brainwashed to think a big churchy wedding ceremony is the pinnacle of her entire life.

But I am rambling. Has anyone eloped or had a friend do so? How did it turn out?
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post #2 of 49
5/15/10 at 8:57pm
My brother, mom and dad, uncle and aunt did. It's kind of a family tradition. And no, there was no party when then came back. That's the whole point.
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post #3 of 49
5/15/10 at 9:33pm
I did. We were planning a pretty decent ($$) wedding here in NYC. We were so fucking stressed out over making everyone else happy, we started fighting for the first time ever. (the seating charts are what put us over the top). Finally, my wife has a moment of clarity, looks at me and says "Is this REALLY what you want to do"? I had no desire for a big hoopla event anyhow, so I say no. 2 weeks later, we cancel the band, caterers, flowers, hall (which was epic), lose the deposits, hop a flight to Miami, get married with just my best friend and his wife as witnesses. Both of our parents were kind of pissed, but 2 months later we hosted a "wedding celebration" back in NY with pretty much the same invite list as the wedding would have had. I made a sobby toast, everyone felt "validated", we got gifts. Win.
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post #4 of 49
5/15/10 at 9:43pm
seriously considering this.

There is nothing dumber than a wedding ceremony, to me. I cannot stand the whole idea and parading yourself in front of so many people is to me, embarrassing, self centered, and gay.

I'd much rather just have one hell of a dinner and party. Who the fuck cares about the ceremony?
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post #5 of 49
5/15/10 at 9:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SField View Post
I'd much rather just have one hell of a dinner and party. Who the fuck cares about the ceremony?

This is what we did. Basically an amazing dinner party interrupted for five minutes in order to complete the formalities. I suggest it.
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post #6 of 49
5/15/10 at 9:55pm
My sister did. I think our mother's plans for her wedding were getting out of hand.
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post #7 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by iammatt View Post
This is what we did. Basically an amazing dinner party interrupted for five minutes in order to complete the formalities. I suggest it.

I've heard of a few people doing that. We already have a likely location for the actual dinner, a place I used to work. But we can skip a lot of the bullshit and have no ceremony.
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post #8 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:25pm
Godless heathens.
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post #9 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:33pm
sort of - we had a big party, but the actual marridge took place in vegas by an elvis impersonator about a year later
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post #10 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:40pm
I'm with metro on this as well. If/when I get married I want it to be off in some remote location with just the GQbride. I'm a private person and I don't want a church wedding with tons of family and people I've seen once in the last 15 years. The whole concept of attempting not to offend people by throwing a party anyway is ridiculous to me. Are people really that petty? As long as you don't play favorites and have a special dinner for some people and not others once you get back, nobody shuold have any grounds to complain imo.
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post #11 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:54pm
frankly, if you have a penis, you dont get a vote in the issue of your wedding. I wanted the type of thing that matt had. but you don't always get to choose.
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post #12 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:55pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek View Post
I'm with metro on this as well. If/when I get married I want it to be off in some remote location with just the GQbride. I'm a private person and I don't want a church wedding with tons of family and people I've seen once in the last 15 years. The whole concept of attempting not to offend people by throwing a party anyway is ridiculous to me. Are people really that petty? As long as you don't play favorites and have a special dinner for some people and not others once you get back, nobody shuold have any grounds to complain imo.

What I intended in the OP by saying I would throw a party is this:

It would be a fun opportunity to celebrate the marriage, but without the fanfare and additional annoyances (caterers, photographers, camerapeople, organizational headaches, etc.). I want to enjoy the moment with my friends, but not necessarily in a traditional and overly formal manner. Besides, I do like getting drunk with my favorite people, and I think people would appreciate the opportunity to celebrate it with us. I probably mis-spoke in the OP when I said the party would be for all the same people as the original wedding guestlist. I think the less formalized nature of the party would make it less necessary to invite the people you feel obliged to invite but do not actually want to. Does that make sense?

Also, costs would be much lower. Everyone would pay for their own dinner (if I invited a lot of people, that is) and I would pay for the open bar. No presents requested...only my favorite peoples' presence.
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post #13 of 49
5/15/10 at 10:58pm
Everyone pays for their own dinner? Talk about petty. Either you throw a party or you don't.
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post #14 of 49
5/15/10 at 11:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Everyone pays for their own dinner? Talk about petty. Either you throw a party or you don't.

I agree. You can't throw a party and then expect everyone to pay for shit.
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post #15 of 49
5/15/10 at 11:22pm
thats what Id want for my marriage and funeral. Fuck the formalities, church and everyone elses expectations. My family isnt big into that shit anyways and I doubt Id ever date (let alone marry) a girl like that either. I say do it your way on a beach somewhere, have a helluva party back home and celebrate good times.

But I never intend to get married, so its gonna be a helluva funeral party!
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