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Life after university is depressing... - Page 6

post #76 of 100
I think the item I noticed the most after school was how quickly time went anymore. It took me a little while getting used to being out on my own. It was chaotic, as before everything had been pretty much planned for the day by teachers. No complaints now, it's good to have greater independence I suppose.
post #77 of 100

wait...there's no independence during university? 

post #78 of 100
I had more unstructured time during college than any other time of my life. You've got like three hours of class a day (maybe more if you have labs), then you can do whatever you want with the rest. Now, high school is regimented like nothing else.
post #79 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foldtold View Post

I'm from a big city, and what I've observed is most adults have little to no friends (aside from their workplace). They merely wake up, attend work by themselves, and go home by themselves. Most of their vacation is with their families. Is this to be expected? Nothing wrong with that of course.

Hardly. Though a lot of my friends are somehow related to work (used to work with them, met through a coworker, etc.) I certainly don't have the above mentioned routine. Maybe if I was 53, married with kids and antisocial. Not sure where your from but at least DC is a very social town. Of course there are people with little to no friends or social lives but that's like anywhere else. Your life/routine is what you want to make of it.
post #80 of 100
My experience has been the complete opposite...mainly because I was a broke ass college student that didn't have money for myself and finally had the resources to do things I wanted to do.

As cliche as it sounds and as others have mentioned, life after university really is entirely dependent on "what you make of it". Everyone who's graduating is facing the same problem. It's no different from the HS to college jump and re-establishing yourself then.
post #81 of 100
Personally, I find life after university more fun. If your friends have moved away you can either make new friends or enjoy time alone. I travelled alone after university and had a great time. I had always considered myself someone that needs to have others around to enjoy my time and, after university, I found this to be wrong. I had a great time seeing things that I had wanted to see. I was able to travel without consulting someone else or a group of people and find out what they wanted to do and try to accomodate everyone. It was relaxing.

Beyond travel, if you find yourself with time on your hands, learn something. Try out a language. It's as much fun going to a course and interacting with people as it is learning a skill. Don't like languages? Learn something else. I took Krav Maga and had previously little experience with any sort of martial art. I found that I enjoyed it. I met people there and it gave me an unknown subject in which I could involve myself. If you're on SF, surely you enjoy clothes. Learn some basic tailoring skills in a course. Find a new hobby.

Read up on something you enjoy. I found that I enjoyed learning and taking courses after university far more than during university. Why? Simply put, I'm learning what I want to learn. I didn't have to take a course because it's related to my career, I can now take courses because I have an interest in something.

All of these activities involve being around like-minded people and you'll naturally make some friends or at least acquaintances. If meeting women is your goal, you'll have the opportunity to do that as well. Overall, I enjoyed and still enjoy my time alone. I eventually met my wife and we have a dog. I enjoy taking him to dog school and for walks. I don't live some sort of ultra exciting life, but I'm very happy with it.
post #82 of 100
Thread Starter 
Wow - haven't logged into my account in a few months - and first time I decide to have a browse - this pops up! I read the title of the thread and thought "poor bastard"... then realized it was me a few years ago. biggrin.gif

Appreciate all the advice from everyone - it is comforting to know I'm not the only person who has ever felt like that. It took me awhile to get out of that phase - and it definitely got worse before it got better. I was in a job I hated that sucked the life out of me, I used the long hours and overall feeling of crap to justify eating like a pig and I got really fat. I was so mad all the time about my rut, and I couldn't vent it at work or I'd look like a loose cannon, so I'd pretty much vent on everyone around me that mattered because I could barely contain it by the time I got home from work.

One day in the dead of winter in 2011 when it was -40 degrees and snowing and I was driving home from the office at 11PM at night - I said "f*ck - I need something to look forward to or I'm going to lose it" - so I decided to book one of those contiki tours across the Mediterranean (funny - I mentioned it in this thread dated over a year earlier and I don't even remember that.) I was terrified of the prospect of traveling by myself - I was pretty insecure about it right up until the time I left. But that trip turned my life around - it was exactly what I needed to break out of my rut and re-energize myself. On that trip I discovered my love of photography. When I came home I quit my job and landed a much better one that I enjoy more and that treats me better. Since then I've went traveling at every opportunity - I figure that soon I'll be tied down with responsibility so I want to live up bachelor life as much as I can before that happens.

I actually just got back from another trip to Greece - this time i didn't even bother asking people if they wanted to come because I knew I'd meet people fast and it was probably 2 of the greatest weeks of my life. The day I booked the trip I resolved to get back in shape - I dropped 45 lbs for the trip and was wearing stuff from before I graduated university. smile.gif

So I guess my new obsession is travel - it's like a game to me and the goal is visit as many far flung places as possible, because I know it gets harder when you have commitments to go globe-trotting halfway around the world.

I still have a short list of friends I hang out with, but that's OK because I know they are the most reliable friends I'll ever have smile.gif
post #83 of 100
Wow, its not often a potentially depressing thread comes to such an awesome conclusion! Thanks for following up on it, this thread has obviously attracted quite a few souls over the years and its always good to know that there is a good conclusion!
post #84 of 100

There's always a happy ending to everything.

post #85 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by FidelCashflow View Post

Wow - haven't logged into my account in a few months - and first time I decide to have a browse - this pops up! I read the title of the thread and thought "poor bastard"... then realized it was me a few years ago. biggrin.gif
Appreciate all the advice from everyone - it is comforting to know I'm not the only person who has ever felt like that. It took me awhile to get out of that phase - and it definitely got worse before it got better. I was in a job I hated that sucked the life out of me, I used the long hours and overall feeling of crap to justify eating like a pig and I got really fat. I was so mad all the time about my rut, and I couldn't vent it at work or I'd look like a loose cannon, so I'd pretty much vent on everyone around me that mattered because I could barely contain it by the time I got home from work.
One day in the dead of winter in 2011 when it was -40 degrees and snowing and I was driving home from the office at 11PM at night - I said "f*ck - I need something to look forward to or I'm going to lose it" - so I decided to book one of those contiki tours across the Mediterranean (funny - I mentioned it in this thread dated over a year earlier and I don't even remember that.) I was terrified of the prospect of traveling by myself - I was pretty insecure about it right up until the time I left. But that trip turned my life around - it was exactly what I needed to break out of my rut and re-energize myself. On that trip I discovered my love of photography. When I came home I quit my job and landed a much better one that I enjoy more and that treats me better. Since then I've went traveling at every opportunity - I figure that soon I'll be tied down with responsibility so I want to live up bachelor life as much as I can before that happens.
I actually just got back from another trip to Greece - this time i didn't even bother asking people if they wanted to come because I knew I'd meet people fast and it was probably 2 of the greatest weeks of my life. The day I booked the trip I resolved to get back in shape - I dropped 45 lbs for the trip and was wearing stuff from before I graduated university. smile.gif
So I guess my new obsession is travel - it's like a game to me and the goal is visit as many far flung places as possible, because I know it gets harder when you have commitments to go globe-trotting halfway around the world.
I still have a short list of friends I hang out with, but that's OK because I know they are the most reliable friends I'll ever have smile.gif

I was in your shoes not long ago and found travel as a passion. It gives me a chance to visit diverse places, meet people from different cultures and traditions and satisfies my insatiable appetite to learn and grow. I've been traveling to Eastern Europe to enjoy their amazing culture, history and architecture, but am looking at South America next.
post #86 of 100

I would love to travel while I'm still young but where's the money?

post #87 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foldtold View Post

I would love to travel while I'm still young but where's the money?

Nowadays you can travel at any age and have a great time. Travel when you can afford it.
post #88 of 100
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foldtold View Post

I would love to travel while I'm still young but where's the money?

Not sure what your circumstances are (e.g. just graduated, living at home with parents, already have a full-time job, etc.) but as long as you haven't started getting too committed to stuff like car payments, a mortgage, a career, etc. it's pretty doable.

When I was traveling there were loads of people who were on 2-3 month journeys who were university aged. I didn't ask where they got the money from, but I gather most of them worked odd jobs and saved up, most of them still lived at home which helps immensely, some got money from their parents when they ran low on funds during their trip, and some got jobs in whatever town they were in if they were broke. Most learn to travel cheaply and stay at hostels. I also imagine some of them are charging it to their credit cards knowing they will be earning enough to repay it upon their return.

Either that or they were people with jobs that payed really well like electricians that allowed them the flexibility to just disappear for 3 months. I have an office job, and no one can cover for me for any extended period of time, so I don't have that luxury.
post #89 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraiche View Post

My experience has been the complete opposite...mainly because I was a broke ass college student that didn't have money for myself and finally had the resources to do things I wanted to do.
As cliche as it sounds and as others have mentioned, life after university really is entirely dependent on "what you make of it". Everyone who's graduating is facing the same problem. It's no different from the HS to college jump and re-establishing yourself then.

 

I 100% agree. I don't think there is anything you can do in college that you can't do post-graduation (with the exception of going to classes all day vs working).  Although I've enjoyed college, I don't think I partied as much as others. But then again, maybe that's why I can party a little bit more now than them?

post #90 of 100

Traveling is actually extremely easy after college!  I have been everywhere I can afford and have done it fairly on the cheap side.  This year I did a Germany/Austria(Bavaria) trip and about to do my first solo England trip.  You just have to save and plan a few months ahead.  My work schedule is very flexible so its easier for me to do but planning ahead I have saved hundreds of dollars on flights.  But like most people say you really can do as you want and not have to answer or worry about what everyone else wants to do.  Sure I miss the college life of no real responsibility minus classes but meeting new people and engaging in my career has allowed me to grow as I venture into adulthood.

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