The Human Centipede

But garbage like this is not chasing anything remotely true or meaningful. There's no higher purpose—or even just cheap entertainment from a good gory thrill. This isn't fun in any sense of the word. Nor is it well acted (the villain is a shite combo of Dr. Caligari and Sean Penn stuck in a tea party rally), or well written, or even well conceived—let’s not even touch the medical impossibility of keeping three human beings alive after being sewn together, when two of them have no way of ingesting real food or water. The writers try to feed us some BS line about the two American girls being a "tissue match"—and then somehow both of them also “match” with a random Japanese dude? Please. Stop treating your audience like morons. Granted, this is an ASS TO MOUTH movie, so maybe I ask too much.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say this movie isn’t even horror. Watching churlish teens get chased down and slaughtered by a madman with a mission—that’s horror. Watching a clownish German yell “Feed her!” as a Japanese guy shits in a girl’s mouth—that’s just fetish porn. All I could do besides fight the nausea (and yes, I can say this is the first horror movie I’ve ever seen that brought on nausea—and not minor nausea, but “Oh shit I better know where the nearest bathroom is” nausea) was feel sorry for the actors who signed on to this literal shitshow. This kind of movie is worse than a casting couch. Worse than hardcore porn, even. At least in porn you retain some modicum of dignity. Not much—but more than you get crawling on your hands and knees for 45 minutes with your face grafted to a Japanese dude’s anus and your butt surgically joined to your best friend’s face.

Tom Six has stated that the inspiration for the film came from a joke he always made to friends about punishing people who were nasty or annoying, or a child molester by stitching their mouths to the anus of an overweight truck driver