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post #61 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
i don;t think a gf being a cum dumpster for the masses is petty or that caring about it makes someone a pussy.

Hmm, when is someone a cum dumpster though? Is it numbers? Rauchiness? etc
post #62 of 228
<em>Chasing Amy</em> is the one film that deals with this that I can think of off the top of my head. Maybe we can recommend some more films/books for the OP?
post #63 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
i don;t think a gf being a cum dumpster for the masses is petty.

Yep. Although everyone's line is different, I'm sure number has something to do with it.
post #64 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
I dunno, I'd like to think a relationship isn't necessarily about providing a biography to someone, sometimes sleeping dogs can remain lying down.
And a like-minded person would probably be a fitting partner for you. I'm not saying it's crucial that people reveal all to each other, but couples can manage their own relationships and partners can decide what is and what is not important. I disagreed with the statement that 'it's none of his business' since clearly it is important to him. If a partner chooses to divulge information or not is also their choice -- but there are many effects on the relationship when one person chooses to ask and whether the other person chooses to tell. It's something that needs to be decided between partners, not as some prescriptive precept.
post #65 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
And a like-minded person would probably be a fitting partner for you.

I'm not saying it's crucial that people reveal all to each other, but couples can manage their own relationships. I disagreed with the statement that 'it's none of his business' since clearly it is important to him. If a partner chooses to divulge information or not is also their choice -- but there are many effects on the relationship if one person chooses to ask and whether the other person chooses to tell. It's something that needs to be decided between partners, not as some prescriptive precept.

Oh, yeah, I agree. I thought you meant the necessity was an integral part of human relationships.
post #66 of 228
context for me. i can easily see how a woman in her 30s is in the 30s but you'd have to question the judgement of a coed who has reached the same number. Lots of one-night stands are bad indicators as well.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
Hmm, when is someone a cum dumpster though? Is it numbers? Rauchiness? etc
post #67 of 228
Ask and learn.

I never asked my ex, but there was a morning where we spoke about God knows what (the only thing I remember now is the number) and I thought I loved her enough and was secure enough to know when she offered the number. She knew that I'd only slept with three girls at the time- two one nighters and then her, so for all intents and purposes she was my first with any consistency. My low number for a 24 year old guy (She was 27 y/o) made me kind of insecure already, so when she told me I was her 25th partner the relationship never felt the same and eventually ended. There were many reasons beyond the number for why it ended, but it makes an easy symbol for it.

The stupid thing on my part is that I knew she'd slept around before we started dating, so I shouldn't have been surprised or so affected. It was great that she was easy when we were just casually fucking. When we started with the I love you's, the number started to haunt me. It made me jealous, overly comparative, and I started to resent her and treat her like the whore she was (number was evidence, in my mind). It really brought out some terrible things in me. But really, I brought out the worst in myself.

Numbers can reveal insecurities you never thought you had and part of me wishes I'd never known. But hey, I'm conscious of more things now so my advice to the OP - go ahead and ask (you've made up your mind to ask already) and be ready for some shit, most of it self-generated and propelled.
post #68 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
Something to do with honesty and past behaviors being indicative of the future. Maybe nothing beneficial for the relationship would arise from the question, but I think a partner may benefit if a problem is discovered problems sooner rather than later. Something being 'in the past' does not nor should not be sealed simply because it's not current. A person always has some vestige of their past -- it's what makes them who they are. Their partner can concern themselves with what is relevant or important. The broad prescription that it's 'none of his business' impinges on his personal decision toward what is 'his business'. The question concerns him and the answer will affect him.

Fair enough, it is different for every couple. I'll give you that. For me/us, it's best not to ask, even though there really isn't any history there to discuss on either side.
post #69 of 228
I can't believe it's taken this long, but:

"37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!"
"In a row?"
post #70 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
And a like-minded person would probably be a fitting partner for you.

I'm not saying it's crucial that people reveal all to each other, but couples can manage their own relationships and partners can decide what is and what is not important. I disagreed with the statement that 'it's none of his business' since clearly it is important to him. If a partner chooses to divulge information or not is also their choice -- but there are many effects on the relationship when one person chooses to ask and whether the other person chooses to tell. It's something that needs to be decided between partners, not as some prescriptive precept.

That's pretty much what I said. Each person and relationship is different; there cannot be a blanket rule about this.

Has anyone brought up what to do if she asks you?

Astan, damn man, that was an impressive post and took some balls.
post #71 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
i don;t think a gf being a cum dumpster for the masses is petty or that caring about it makes someone a pussy.

I think someone's behavior would make it readily apparent that they might as well have been a fluffer for World's Largest Gangbang III without having to ask for their specific number.
post #72 of 228
The funny thing is, statistically, if you're sleeping with a woman, chances are, she's slept with a lot of men.

My first at 17 was already in the double digits... and was 16 at the time.
post #73 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by unjung View Post
The funny thing is, statistically, if you're sleeping with a woman, chances are, she's slept with a lot of men.

My first at 17 was already in the double digits... and was 16 at the time.

If you're not the first, you're probably not in the first 10 either...
post #74 of 228
No matter how mature or "manly" you are, not asking and finding out later that your wife or significant other had slept with 20,30,40 ... X# of people is going to cause problems.

Better to get it out of the way when the relationship is fresh, rather than years down the road.

Ask away.
post #75 of 228
Also surprised no one has brought up the topic of the girl lying.

Telling you she has only slept with 10 to later find out it's 30.


Then what?
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