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Asking your girlfriend how many guys shes been with... - Page 4

post #46 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
How is it none of his business?

How is it his business?
It's in the past. I mean I guess if she gave him and STD or something then yeah he has the right to ask where she got it from and why he didn't know. But other than that, why should he care, and why should she tell him? 99% of the time all it does is cause drama and provides no positive results. It is just an issue best left untouched.
post #47 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
well, you need to check with your own moral compass. I think it does matter. Whether your threshold is 10 or 100, I think it matters. For instance, if a woman has had 30, 40, 50 partners, you have to start to wonder.

Hmmm, I agree with the moral compass part, but if I'd been with 30 partners, and my wife had been with 30 partners, would you start to wonder about both of us?
post #48 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
Hmmm, I agree with the moral compass part, but if I'd been with 30 partners, and my wife had been with 30 partners, would you start to wonder about both of us?
It's an uneven playing field. Girls have way less slack with "the number." I haven't slept with THAT many girls but I still begin to worry about my number. It's like I am torn between sleeping with more people and having a number that is low enough to not raise red flags to the girl of my dreams, when I do meet her. And it's not something I would rather lie about. However I've found that most Gen Y girls don't really freak out about a number until it's over 30, if you are both in your mid-late 20s. Then again, I've know girls that would freak out if the guy was in double digits.
post #49 of 228
no, men can have as many as they want. moral relativism ftw!
post #50 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
It's an uneven playing field. Girls have way less slack with "the number." I haven't slept with THAT many girls but I still begin to worry about my number. It's like I am torn between sleeping with more people and having a number that is low enough to not raise red flags to the girl of my dreams, when I do meet her. And it's not something I would rather lie about.

However I've found that most Gen Y girls don't really freak out about a number until it's over 30, if you are both in your mid-late 20s. Then again, I've know girls that would freak out if the guy was in double digits.

So, the question comes up: the girl of your dreams - how many can she have before she becomes less dreamy? If she's had, say, two dozen...is she still The One?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
no, men can have as many as they want. moral relativism ftw!

post #51 of 228
^^^^ I prefer less over more. But that said, if she is really good in bed I am willing to take the addition to her number. I would probably not be cool with over 20 for my wife. But by "not cool with" I do not mean it would be a dealbreaker. I would just be kind of peeved about it.
post #52 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
How is it his business?
It's in the past.

Something to do with honesty and past behaviors being indicative of the future. Maybe nothing beneficial for the relationship would arise from the question, but I think a partner may benefit if a problem is discovered problems sooner rather than later. Something being 'in the past' does not nor should not be sealed simply because it's not current. A person always has some vestige of their past -- it's what makes them who they are. Their partner can concern themselves with what is relevant or important. The broad prescription that it's 'none of his business' impinges on his personal decision toward what is 'his business'. The question concerns him and the answer will affect him.
post #53 of 228
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
Something to do with honesty and past behaviors being indicative of the future. Maybe nothing beneficial for the relationship would arise from the question, but I think a partner may benefit if a problem is discovered problems sooner rather than later. Something being 'in the past' does not nor should not be sealed simply because it's not current. A person always has some vestige of their past -- it's what makes them who they are. Their partner can concern themselves with what is relevant or important. The broad prescription that it's 'none of his business' impinges on his personal decision toward what is 'his business'. The question concerns him and the answer will affect him.

Yeah this pretty much hits the nail on the head about how I feel about it, past behavior models how people act in the now, I'm not one to believe that people change dramatically...past behavior is definetely indicative of how someone might behave in the present.

It's just that the actual topic is hard to broach, and like many have said what is seen can't be unseen.

Though I'm not sure whether or not it would be a dealbreaker for me at this point, I feel like it used to but now not as much.

You guys don't think you'd be slightly turned off finding out your chick has been with multiple other guys...?
post #54 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
Something to do with honesty and past behaviors being indicative of the future. Maybe nothing beneficial for the relationship would arise from the question, but I think a partner may benefit if a problem is discovered problems sooner rather than later. Something being 'in the past' does not nor should not be sealed simply because it's not current. A person always has some vestige of their past -- it's what makes them who they are. Their partner can concern themselves with what is relevant or important. The broad prescription that it's 'none of his business' impinges on his personal decision toward what is 'his business'. The question concerns him and the answer will affect him.

I dunno, I'd like to think a relationship isn't necessarily about providing a biography to someone, sometimes sleeping dogs can remain lying down.
post #55 of 228
terrible idea.

watch out, because the girl could think you are a pussy if this is something you care about...

when you ask this question, you are projecting neediness and insecurity, which is not attractive for the ladies.
post #56 of 228
^^^^ Love that album. And the cover art.
post #57 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
^^^^ Love that album. And the cover art.

You know about Washed out, wait!
post #58 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
You know about Washed out, wait!

I went through a brief hypem period.
post #59 of 228
i don;t think a gf being a cum dumpster for the masses is petty or that caring about it makes someone a pussy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by constantine. View Post
terrible idea.

watch out, because the girl could think you are a pussy if this is something you care about...

when you ask this question, you are projecting neediness and insecurity, which is not attractive for the ladies.
post #60 of 228
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
I went through a brief hypem period.

Olivia is probably my fav song right now, well the album + mix are pretty good but this one stands out.
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