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Asking your girlfriend how many guys shes been with...

post #1 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:39am
Thread Starter 
only because youre curious, not worried or anything like that. What goes on in this situation...?
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post #2 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:40am
You just don't ask b/c A) it's none of your business, curiousity or for any other reason, and B) there is very small chance for it to end well, bordering on NO chance of ending well.
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post #3 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:41am
You only ask if you are already sure your number is at least four times greater.
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post #4 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:42am
Yep, not a good idea. Kwilk nailed it. (And her, probably, which only proves the rule again).
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post #5 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
You just don't ask b/c A) it's none of your business, curiousity or for any other reason, and B) there is very small chance for it to end well, bordering on NO chance of ending well.
Oh please. Your gf is the ultimate good girl. Your advice is great for everybody else.
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post #6 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by iammatt View Post
Oh please. Your gf is the ultimate good girl. Your advice is great for everybody else.

Yeah, I know I am the only one, mostly b/c I can satisfy her, which basically proves she's never been with anyone else. But I still don't talk about it. Not only b/c I'm a jealous prick who freaks out over little irrelevant things, but because I don't want to know if she's done anything with anyone else.
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post #7 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:48am
Hey, as long as she enjoys giving you an awesome BJ you ought to be happy she has some experience.
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post #8 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:53am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pocketsquareguy View Post
Hey, as long as she enjoys giving you an awesome BJ you ought to be happy she has some experience.

Right, this is how I feel in a way, but in another way, somehow I feel jealous I wasnt there for the first time, I wasnt there to teach her how its done etc...

sometimes I feel jealous, because maybe if shes been with other guys, im just pretty much another notch in the bedpost and nothing else, when she does it with me its nothing special perhaps, though after the first time we did it she told me i was amazing, and I think I can believe it, as I made her come multiple times.

In any case, I think any strangeness on my part comes from my own insecurities, but im still curious.

You guys think there is never a proper time to ask, a point in the relationship where it is somewhat warranted?
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post #9 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post
Right, this is how I feel in a way, but in another way, somehow I feel jealous I wasnt there for the first time, I wasnt there to teach her how its done etc...

sometimes I feel jealous, because maybe if shes been with other guys, im just pretty much another notch in the bedpost and nothing else, when she does it with me its nothing special perhaps, though after the first time we did it she told me i was amazing, and I think I can believe it, as I made her come multiple times.

In any case, I think any strangeness on my part comes from my own insecurities, but im still curious.

You guys think there is never a proper time to ask, a point in the relationship where it is somewhat warranted?

Dude, if there ever IS a time where it is warranted, now is not the time for you. If you already admit to jealousy about this kind of thing, this is just going to lead to very bad results.
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post #10 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:58am
Here's the point guys:

a) If you were 100% secure, you would have no need to ask.
b) You want to know because you are insecure. Nothing wrong with that. Most of us are to some extent.
c) Getting an unexpected answer from her can only hurt the relationship if you are insecure, and fro (a) and (b) we have deduced you must be.

So don't do it. I used to do it in HS and college but the numbers were smaller then. Now I don't bother. I don't want to know if she slept with 30 guys.
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post #11 of 228
5/11/10 at 12:59am
Thread Starter 
I supress it all very well, I am the most perfect boyfriend on the exterior, it good that I realize my own flaws for if I didnt... god knows id never have a woman, let a lone a loving, beautiful girlfriend haha. What is a man to do
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post #12 of 228
5/11/10 at 1:03am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Here's the point guys:

a) If you were 100% secure, you would have no need to ask.
b) You want to know because you are insecure. Nothing wrong with that. Most of us are to some extent.
c) Getting an unexpected answer from her can only hurt the relationship if you are insecure, and fro (a) and (b) we have deduced you must be.

So don't do it. I used to do it in HS and college but the numbers were smaller then. Now I don't bother. I don't want to know if she slept with 30 guys.

This is exactly the point! Youve learned, that to know in the past has hurt you, or affected the relationship.

Now that you are older and wiser you would NOT know, yet if you were to find out "I dont want to know if she slept with 30 guys" it would hurt you.

Its avoidance. You think things are different because the same shit happened, just you dont know? The main reason id like to know, is that it shows a womans character, how many men she has been with, and avoiding the subject is only bad for you. There just has to be a tactful way to find out.

Its unfortunate, but I think,even if I found the perfect girl, but there were to many guys before me, I would leave.

I wish it wasnt like that, but thats me.
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post #13 of 228
5/11/10 at 1:03am
I don't understand why guys care about the number of partners their girlfriend has been with. I actually prefer a girl who's been with a lot of guys and knows what she wants. Better that than a prude who probably doesn't even know how to get off.
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post #14 of 228
5/11/10 at 1:08am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bawlin View Post
I don't understand why guys care about the number of partners their girlfriend has been with. I actually prefer a girl who's been with a lot of guys and knows what she wants. Better that than a prude who probably doesn't even know how to get off.

Like I said, CHARACTER!
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post #15 of 228
5/11/10 at 1:09am
I don't need to ask.



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