Booty Call Etiquette!!!

1. Depends on how well established, and if you don't mind hanging out with them. If it's well established some afternoon delight it within reason, but you've got to be prepared to at least spend some time hanging out afterward.

2. If well established, don't need to be buzzed at all. I offer all my guests drinks, BC is no different.

3. Yes, tidy up, same as above. Change sheets only if they need to be changed anyway.

4. Coffee, maybe breakfast, kiss.

when you're finished with her, it is proper to allow her use of the facilities to get cleaned up and dressed. but no more than two minutes. if she let you have anal, you may call her a cab but only at your discretion and depending on the overall performance

You can't have this, that, and the other. There's no way! No amount of rules can save you.

4. Shes not allowed to spend the night

The answers to your booty call questions are as follows:

1) How early will you be done drinking/ do you have to wake up the next day? A booty call should not interfere with your plans.

2a) Anything below completely intoxicated to stone cold sober is generally acceptable. Too drunk and you run the risk of not being able to perform, pissing the bed, saying something you'll regret such as "I love you" or "I think we should date", none of which are good options.

2b) Depends on the girl. How many drinks does she need before she is willing to shed her dignity in addition to her clothes? How does she handle her liquor? If drinks = staying the night then offer her something non-alcoholic

3) Booty calls should not have any expectations of tidiness. They are at your place for 1 reason and one reason only. If the level of clutter at your place is so bad that it would prevent you from being able to have sex, hire a fucking maid you pig.

4) A good-bye kiss? I won't even justify that question with and answer.

When in doubt please refer to the following rules:

Rule One: No sleeping over.
Rule Two: No exceptions to rule one
Rule Three: No meeting in public, except for drinks before the events of the evening.
Rule Four: No calls before 9 p.m. We don't have anything to talk about
Rule Five: None of that "lovemaking' crap. If you're not DTF you are wasting my time.
Rule Six: No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Was I better than your ex? Do you love me?) The answer is no. I do not love you, we are not nor will we ever be anything more that fuck buddies, and my ex makes you look like an amateur, so I suggest you notch up the enthusiasm a bit.
Rule Seven: Thou shall use thy tongue/lips to pleasure all parts of my body EXCEPT my mouth. No kissing, don't even try it.
Rule Eight: No calling each other "friends with privileges.' We are not friends. If you didn't blow me on the regular, you would be dead to me.
Rule Nine: No falling asleep right after sex. It's over. Here's a towel. Clean yourself up and leave. Shower? No you cannot use my shower? Swallow next time and it won't be an issue.

I really hope this is a joke.

I gleefully break every single one of those rules.

Booty call etiquette is simple: Fuck, fuck,fuck, fuck and fuck some more. Do anything that seems fun at the time. Does she fuck like a champ? Then sure, why not let her stay over, that just means you get to fuck again in the morning. A kiss? Sure, that can and should lead to more fucking. Shower, well if you plan on a second or third or fourth round of fucking and she is covered in cum, why not? Do you want to taste cum when you lick her pussy, tits, ass or mouth? If so than you are a fag and should be calling trolling CR for someone to carry your luggage.
Basically don't be a dick, don't be weird and needy, don't have a stupid fucking check list, and remember sex is always better than no sex, so make sure to lay the pipe for another round.

It all depends. But always have clean sheets. If there's breakfast, better to have it at a restaurant. Breakfast at the house seems too much like a domestic/girlfriend situation.

My parents never showed me affection when I was a child.

And yes, that post was obviously laced with sarcasm.

i once went out on two very PG rated lunch dates with a guy who then attempted a drunken booty call on me soon after. it went something like:

"i've been wanting to get forward with your for a WHILE. you're spicy...not just sexy...SPICY."

needless to say, despite how soon it was after meeting him, it didn't work.