Originally Posted by Piobaire
Mark, I would agree that in theory "time out" should work. However, sort of like communism, I have yet to see a parental unit that uses it as an effective tool of discipline.
It worked pretty well with our kids. They hated it. There were times where, if they were throwing a fit or whatever, physical punishment would have just made it worse. We'd stick them in a boring room with no toys (physically carrying them there) and put them on notice that they were perfectly welcome to rejoin us once they'd decided to act like a human being again.
In the beginning they'd just throw a bigger fit. They were testing us to see if throwing a bigger fit would cause them to get their way. You've got to learn to ignore their screaming and let them learn that it gets them no where. Eventually they just get tired and calm down. At that point you've got them. The key is the parents.
It doesn't really work past some point. But even at this age we still have a action/consequences system. Works pretty well for the most part. When it doesn't its usually because we've become bad/lazy at implementing it...or just aren't enforcing the proper consequence.
Like I said...I'm not dogmatic about anything. Whatever a parent can do to raise respectful, productive and happy kids is fine by me. My sister has 6 children, five of whom were adopted out of (in some cases) very abusive backgrounds. They spank on a limited basis and it works fine. That's not all they do. They use every tool in the box...timeouts, spanking, loss of priveledges. Their kids are turning out pretty good. I can actually stand to be around them and as old and cranky as I am that's saying something.
In this area, I'm most dogmatic about not being dogmatic. I've seen nearly everything work and I've seen nearly everything fail. I know parents who spank who's kids are little monsters. It's hard fucking work being a parent. Don't let anyone tell you different.