Yeah, after I gave her an estimate, I told her we should go through insurance, which we have.
I get the sense that the repair shop went to the extreme to nickel and dime the insurance company for damages. I wouldn't be surprised if the actual damages totaled to around $2k -- the rest becoming extra profit for them.
Dealing with insurance companies all the time, and having a close friend who is an adjuster... if its not a legit nearly $4k in repairs that can be pointed out to an appraiser, they won't approve the cost/repairs.
Where did you end up bringing it? The 2 best places I've heard of locally for relatively modern high end cars are both in MA. Carls Collision which handles a lot of the repairs for Viti Mercedes Benz (they have also done repaints on several vintage Ferraris for the owner of the Subie dealer I go to), and Mike's Auto Body, which does a lot of Porsche and exotic cars.