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Tuxedo question for the groom

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Hello all, I'm new to this forum but after a quick look around I'm sure I can have an answer to my question in no time.

I am getting married in a few months and will be purchasing my first tuxedo for the occassion. The style I am looking for will be mostly classic (single button, peak lapel dinner jacket) with some modern additions (flat front trousers, black vest, laydown collar, non-pleated shirt, long tie). The groomsmen will all be wearing black ties but as the groom, is it appropriate for me to wear a white tie and vest? From my research it is my understanding that a white tie with a dinner jacket is a no-no and should only be worn with tails but is this more for a function such as a black-tie dinner event and not so much the groom in a wedding? The bride-to-be and her wedding mazagines seem to be set on the fact that I should wear a white tie and vest. Considering the magazines would also have me dressed in a notched lapel jacket with a flourescent blue tie and vest what would be the proper choice in this situation?

Thanks in advance!
post #2 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooper
Hello all, I'm new to this forum but after a quick look around I'm sure I can have an answer to my question in no time.

I am getting married in a few months and will be purchasing my first tuxedo for the occassion. The style I am looking for will be mostly classic (single button, peak lapel dinner jacket) with some modern additions (flat front trousers, black vest, laydown collar, non-pleated shirt, long tie). The groomsmen will all be wearing black ties but as the groom, is it appropriate for me to wear a white tie and vest? From my research it is my understanding that a white tie with a dinner jacket is a no-no and should only be worn with tails but is this more for a function such as a black-tie dinner event and not so much the groom in a wedding? The bride-to-be and her wedding mazagines seem to be set on the fact that I should wear a white tie and vest. Considering the magazines would also have me dressed in a notched lapel jacket with a flourescent blue tie and vest what would be the proper choice in this situation?

Thanks in advance!

First and foremost, lose the long tie and wear a bowtie. Long ties on tuxedos are Hollywood derivatives of much greater sin than a notch lapel (which were available even in the 30s and 40s). If you go bowtie, I see no reason not to wear a white one. Strictly speaking, it should be black, but I have a white bow tie I like to wear with a tux which I think looks quite good, especially since you are keeping the black/white symmetry.
post #3 of 10
Black bow tie only. Kill the long tie entirely.

White bow ties also represents a mixing of styles that isn't appropriate-- although perhaps a little less egregious than the long tie.

Same goes for the other guys.
post #4 of 10
Thread Starter 
Duly noted. Aside from the long tie is there anything else you would find in disagreement?
post #5 of 10
This is just FYI, but the flat-fronts and vest are totally classic. I think non-pleated shirts have been worn with dinner jackets for some time as well.

Anyway, loose the long tie and sounds like you'll be golden.
post #6 of 10
I'm getting married in a couple months and chose the black tie over the white largely for the aforementioned reasons. I don't find a white tie particularly objectionable, although a black tie would be preferred.

I think the worry is that with a black tie, you won't really stand out. This reasoning is flawed; you will stand out: a) because you're the groom and b) because you'll be wearing a boutinaire (sp?).

Either way, definitely lose the long tie! They are absolutely horrible with tuxedos, particularly peak lapels. If (and this is a big if) you have to do a long tie, it probably looks better with a notch lapel because a notch lapel is styled like a suit and a long tie is styled like a tie you'd wear with a suit. But with a nice peak lapel tux, definitely do the bowtie.

And remember, if the bride magazines don't change the fashion "trends" every two years, they'll stop selling magazines. Ignore their "advice."
post #7 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanB
If (and this is a big if) you have to do a long tie, it probably looks better with a notch lapel because a notch lapel is styled like a suit and a long tie is styled like a tie you'd wear with a suit.
Of course, then you have the problem of the "tuxedo" looking like a black suit from across the room.
post #8 of 10
I think the white (bow, not long) tie can be forgiven, but at that point you're only one step away from tails, right? Think about it...

EDIT: You don't want a pleated shirt anyway, and a pique shirt is appropriate with tails. You're going waistcoat, so you're inches from a very dashing full-on white-tie ensemble...

PS - My brother listened to his bride on the groomsmen's (and groom's) uniforms. He now has to live the rest of his life with pictures of him and his brothers in silver clip-on long ties and tuxes...
post #9 of 10
Wearing any tie other than a self-tied black bow with a dinner jacket is only slightly less egregious than matricide.
post #10 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldog/oldtrix
Wearing any tie other than a self-tied black bow with a dinner jacket is only slightly less egregious than matricide.


I respectfully disagree. Though it may not be as proper as a black tie, the dinner jacket and its ensemble (as I understand it) derive from either a) the smoking jacket or b) tails. Since one wears a white tie with tails, I think that a white tie can be seen as a proper evolution.modification of black tie (just as the peaked lapel coat is an evolution from military uniforms) in line with the rest of the changes which transformed formal attire from tails to the tuxedo. Clearly, formalwear has evolved over time, or else we would still be in tails (remember, the tuxedo jacket, when first worn, was itself considered inappropriate to the occasion). The question with wearing something different from a traditional tuxedo is not whether there is any change, but whether the change is in keeping with tradition and the aesthetic sense of the garment. That's why a long tie is never appropriate.
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