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Things you wish you could say in job interviews

post #1 of 24
4/16/10 at 9:40pm
Thread Starter 
My dream job? My dream job is to be king of fucking France or just about any other job where I am paid lots of money for nothing and have minions to do my bidding. What kind of stupid question is that?
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post #2 of 24
4/16/10 at 9:42pm
Where would you like to be in 5 years? Sitting on a fukkin beach with a model and loads of cash in da bank! Was that a serious fukkin question?
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post #3 of 24
4/16/10 at 9:43pm
What's my biggest weakness? My biggest weakness is I dont like answering stupid fucking questions.
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post #4 of 24
4/16/10 at 9:46pm
One of my strengths?? Pounding vodka and ginger-ale and making it rain at the strip clubs!!
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post #5 of 24
4/16/10 at 9:55pm
My thoughts are often "WTF were you thinking when you picked out those clothes". I'm probably going to hell for these thoughts and more.
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post #6 of 24
4/16/10 at 10:02pm
Thread Starter 
Are those real? Because they're very nice. And just so we're clear, I'm not what you would call a "workhorse"
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post #7 of 24
4/17/10 at 10:52am
Just to be clear up front, I wont work for someone who wears shoes like that.
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post #8 of 24
4/17/10 at 11:04am
My asset to the company? Pounding the secretary in the ass all night long .. in your bedroom.
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post #9 of 24
4/17/10 at 11:06am
"Tell me about a time you were challenged..."

"Once I sat in a small fucking room with some douchebag asking me stupid questions. I found it extremely challenging not kicking him in the face."
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post #10 of 24
4/17/10 at 1:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny_5 View Post
"Tell me about a time you were challenged..."

"Once I sat in a small fucking room with some douchebag asking me stupid questions. I found it extremely challenging not kicking him in the face."

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post #11 of 24
4/17/10 at 1:15pm
where do you see yourself in 5 years? On the other side of this table.
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post #12 of 24
4/17/10 at 1:16pm
Good thread, 5 stars.
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post #13 of 24
4/17/10 at 3:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark it 8 View Post
Are those real? Because they're very nice. And just so we're clear, I'm not what you would call a "workhorse"

^Winner.
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post #14 of 24
4/17/10 at 3:39pm
I often think about the most offensive thing I could do in any given formal situation like a job interview. Like walking in, shaking the guy's hand, slapping him in the face, shitting on the desk, and rubbing his face in it. If I ever go completely bipolar, this is what I'd do.
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post #15 of 24
4/17/10 at 3:42pm
Why did you leave your last position?

Couldn't deal with the bullshit any longer. If you talk to my old boss he will tell you that I was caught defecating in the waste can in the supply room. He's a liar and he isn't a good boss. I shit my pants and threw them away. That's far from "taking a shit in the trash can". He just picked on me because one night I saw him at a bar and he claims that I grabbed his girlfriend.
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