Ive been reading through a book, Impro: Improvisation and the Theatre
, and the author's take on the conveyance of status in everyday situations is extremely insightful. With the book in the back of my head, I find myself laughing various situations at work today...
An interesting point he makes is that there are no neutral status signals, which does seem true. A group of friends generally alternates high and low status behavior during conversation.
Here is the list, what do you think?
A. High-status behaviors
1.Having no visible reaction to what the other person said.
2.Speaking in complete sentences.
3.Talking matter-of-factly about things that the other person finds displeasing or offensive.
4.Speaking authoritatively, with certainty.
5.Giving or withholding permission.
6.Evaluating other people's work.
7.Speaking cryptically.
8.Being surrounded by an entourage.
B. Low-status behaviors
1.Speaking in halting, incomplete sentences.
2.Dancing around your words when talking about something that will displease the other person.
3.Shouting as an attempt to intimidate the other person.
4.Adjusting the way you say something to help the other person understand.
C. Raising another person's status
1.Be laughed at by them. ... laughing with them at someone else.
2.Ask their opinion about something.
3.Ask them for advice or help.
4.Express gratitude for something they did.
5.Apologize to them for something you did.
6.Agree that they are right and you were wrong.
7.Defer to their judgement without requiring proof.
8.Address them with a fancy title or honorific.
9.Downplay your own achievement or attribute in comparison to theirs.
10.Do something incompetent in front of them and then apologize.
11.Mention a failure or shortcoming of your own.
12.Compliment them in a way that suggests appreciation, not judgement.
13.Obey them unquestioningly.
14.Wait for them.
D. Lowering another person's status
1.Laugh at them. (Not with them.)
2.Criticize something they did.
3.Contradict them. Tell them they are wrong. Prove it with facts and logic.
4.Correct them.
5.Insult them.
6.Give them unsolicited advice.
7.Approve or disapprove of something they did or some attribute of theirs.
8.Shout at them.
9.Ignore what they said and talk about something else.
10.One-up them. E.g. have a worse problem ... a greater past achievement.
11.Announce something good about yourself or something you did.
12.Disregard their opinion.
13.Talk sarcastically to them.
14.Make them wait for you.
15.Taunt them. Tease them.
, and the author's take on the conveyance of status in everyday situations is extremely insightful. With the book in the back of my head, I find myself laughing various situations at work today...An interesting point he makes is that there are no neutral status signals, which does seem true. A group of friends generally alternates high and low status behavior during conversation.
Here is the list, what do you think?
A. High-status behaviors
1.Having no visible reaction to what the other person said.
2.Speaking in complete sentences.
3.Talking matter-of-factly about things that the other person finds displeasing or offensive.
4.Speaking authoritatively, with certainty.
5.Giving or withholding permission.
6.Evaluating other people's work.
7.Speaking cryptically.
8.Being surrounded by an entourage.
B. Low-status behaviors
1.Speaking in halting, incomplete sentences.
2.Dancing around your words when talking about something that will displease the other person.
3.Shouting as an attempt to intimidate the other person.
4.Adjusting the way you say something to help the other person understand.
C. Raising another person's status
1.Be laughed at by them. ... laughing with them at someone else.
2.Ask their opinion about something.
3.Ask them for advice or help.
4.Express gratitude for something they did.
5.Apologize to them for something you did.
6.Agree that they are right and you were wrong.
7.Defer to their judgement without requiring proof.
8.Address them with a fancy title or honorific.
9.Downplay your own achievement or attribute in comparison to theirs.
10.Do something incompetent in front of them and then apologize.
11.Mention a failure or shortcoming of your own.
12.Compliment them in a way that suggests appreciation, not judgement.
13.Obey them unquestioningly.
14.Wait for them.
D. Lowering another person's status
1.Laugh at them. (Not with them.)
2.Criticize something they did.
3.Contradict them. Tell them they are wrong. Prove it with facts and logic.
4.Correct them.
5.Insult them.
6.Give them unsolicited advice.
7.Approve or disapprove of something they did or some attribute of theirs.
8.Shout at them.
9.Ignore what they said and talk about something else.
10.One-up them. E.g. have a worse problem ... a greater past achievement.
11.Announce something good about yourself or something you did.
12.Disregard their opinion.
13.Talk sarcastically to them.
14.Make them wait for you.
15.Taunt them. Tease them.
I'm not such a confrontational dickwad either that I go around berating, teasing, or laughing at others. If I don't like someone, I don't hang out with them. Even if I'm in the unusual circumstance of being, say, forced to work with a customer I find unpalatable, or thrown together at a social function with people I disdain, why the hell would I need to validate myself to others by openly belittling them? It serves zero useful purpose.
