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Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays

post #1 of 22
4/6/10 at 2:55pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.qwertyed.com/q_pages/q6_f...analogies.html The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!" -Jean Sorensen, Herndon He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -Jack Bross, Chevy Chase The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. -Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse
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post #2 of 22
4/6/10 at 2:58pm
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. -Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring This one is actually pretty good lol.
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post #3 of 22
4/6/10 at 3:12pm
lots of those are from the DC area.
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post #4 of 22
4/6/10 at 3:17pm
Some of those were as funny as a movie that you had seen before and didn't like but then you watched it again later after getting drunk and smoking a joint and realized it was, in fact, really fucking funny.
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post #5 of 22
4/6/10 at 4:08pm
the formula for these metaphors are so similar and simple though. like did they all have the same teacher to tell them to write metaphors using modern references in quirky mundane scenario descriptions?:

Quote:
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
-Joseph Romm, Washington

nevertheless. still humorous
i liked this one though...

Quote:
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
-Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park
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post #6 of 22
4/7/10 at 7:29pm
There are a few versions of this on the internetz. My favorite (not included in the page linked above) was always:

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'"
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post #7 of 22
4/7/10 at 7:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tagutcow View Post
There are a few versions of this on the internetz. My favorite (not included in the page linked above) was always:

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'"

I see this as an excellent choice for a member title.
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post #8 of 22
4/7/10 at 8:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by willpower View Post
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

I like this one a lot, almost hardboiled. The kid could have a good career writing poor quality pulp detective novels.
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post #9 of 22
4/7/10 at 8:20pm
heck, i can write like that too, "she was as heavy as a 345lb fat woman" . no?

i actually dont think this is clever writing ( by the high schoolers) but more so that they couldnt find literative and eloquent ways to describe their points so they resort to basically describing the first thought that comes into their head, and because it isnt imaginative, it actually turns humourous, well, maybe novel the first few times, but when every kid writes like this it is just not clever writing?
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post #10 of 22
4/9/10 at 9:03am
shonuff man you sure like to put the foo in fun.
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post #11 of 22
4/9/10 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
heck, i can write like that too, "she was as heavy as a 345lb fat woman" . no?

i actually dont think this is clever writing ( by the high schoolers) but more so that they couldnt find literative and eloquent ways to describe their points so they resort to basically describing the first thought that comes into their head, and because it isnt imaginative, it actually turns humourous, well, maybe novel the first few times, but when every kid writes like this it is just not clever writing?

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post #12 of 22
4/9/10 at 1:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
heck, i can write like that too, "she was as heavy as a 345lb fat woman" . no?

i actually dont think this is clever writing ( by the high schoolers) but more so that they couldnt find literative and eloquent ways to describe their points so they resort to basically describing the first thought that comes into their head, and because it isnt imaginative, it actually turns humourous, well, maybe novel the first few times, but when every kid writes like this it is just not clever writing?

And the assignment was to create bad writing, no?
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post #13 of 22
4/9/10 at 4:33pm
this is nowhere near as funny now that you see its supposed to be funny... fail
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post #14 of 22
4/9/10 at 4:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
... so that they couldnt find literative and eloquent ways to describe their points so they resort to basically describing the first thought that comes into their head, and because it isnt imaginative...

Its not imaginative, but it takes a certain skill to deliberately avoid every cliché known to man. Try to make up a simile that doesn't use a tired cliché, its harder than it sounds.
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post #15 of 22
4/9/10 at 5:12pm
Quote:
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

My favorite
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