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Do you forgive people that have wronged you? - Page 3

post #31 of 55
I have to stay angry, otherwise I'll feel the yuckier feelings.
post #32 of 55
I don't believe in an eye for an eye. I believe in two eyes for an eye.
post #33 of 55
Related Question- I became very close with this girl at school (met family & close friends several times, etc), we then hooked up for a little over a month, then she broke it off (she had a long distance BF, who she told me about but thought she was going to split from, decided not to). we were then friendly for a month & a half. 2 weeks ago, after I brought some drama her way (was never mean to her, just a bit immature), she said to not contact her outside of class and that we could only be casual friends. We sit next to each other in class everyday (seating charts in law school) and we don't talk anymore, just an occasional hello.

Is she not going to forgive me? Should I just forget about her & ignore her? Seems like a petty thing to throw a good friendship away over.
post #34 of 55
who gives a fuck dude, she's in the wrong. You're not missing out on anything.

Next time don't try do get with a girl with a boyfriend unless you just want a fling. Even if she did break up with him, you wouldn't have been a prospect.
post #35 of 55
im very forgiving but i absolutely never forget. i havent been put into a situation where forigiving isnt an option and hopefully wont ever. im sure there's something none of us could forgive.
post #36 of 55
Of course - one should always forgive the dead . . .
post #37 of 55
Forgive but not forget.
post #38 of 55
How can one deliberately forget something anyway?
post #39 of 55
I'm unforgiving.

My grandmother would hold venom for people who made a passive aggressive comment 40 years ago, even after they were long dead. It must run in the family.
post #40 of 55
A few years ago, my dear friend Doug Meis and two of his friends, Michael Dahlquist and John Glick, were killed in a car crash. It wasn't an accident- the driver was trying to end her own life, and intentionally crashed her car at 90 mph into a car full of strangers. She was released in 2008 after serving less than three years.

Doug was one of the finest people I've ever known, and it burns me up that there's a hole in the world where his wit, music, grace, and future should be. I'm crying at work as I type this, thinking about what his kids would have been like. And of course, it's not just him. The musician and producer Steve Albini wrote a wonderful tribute to Michael Dahlquist here:

I don't forgive her in the slightest. I don't give a shit if she's sorry.

I mentioned this to my colleague when I heard that she was being released from prison; as you might imagine, I was extremely upset. He told me that forgiving the drunk driver who killed his brother was the hardest thing he's ever done, but he did it.

He's a serious Christian, and I'm not a person of faith, but I think that the Christian way of forgiveness is the right one. It's better for the world, and better for the injured person. It's certainly not good for me to bear this anger. I just can't get from here to there.
post #41 of 55
Originally Posted by hossoso View Post
When you wrong as many people as I do, you would have to be a hypocrite to not be a very forgiving person.

Those that I wrong I tend not to care whether or not they forgive me.
post #42 of 55
I have always believed "forgive, but never forget". Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. That being said, from a purely evolutionary point of view, isn't it actually more useful to NOT forgive? if you don't forgive someone, essentially you will either not help that person or go out of your way to harm them in some way, which will basically "punish" them for their actions, both teaching them a lesson and putting them at a disadvantage which will limit their ability to conitnue doing that thing or everything in general, making them less "genetically fit". Ie overall they're worse off because they did something bad, you punished them somehow, and now they are in a worse off position so less likely to have a successful life.
post #43 of 55
Sad to say but although I don't wish anything negative toward a person who's wronged me I can't seem to ever forget or ultimately ever forgive. It takes a lot for me to feel that wronged though...
post #44 of 55
Not forgiving someone is the same as killing that person. Forgiving someone is the same as forgiving yourself. Do the math.
post #45 of 55
I never balm any one for anything. I think that if any how the person is doing something wrong with me then I just leave it on god and if I am right that god will punish them. We are not here to make some one realise that you did wrong or even right. It is not my duty. I never take any step for them and waste my time on them.
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