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Socially embarrassing hobbies and unattractiveness - Page 4

post #46 of 106
Maria Sharapova collects stamps...


As to your original question, although I do think that you are obsessing over this whole unattractiveness thing, I will try and give you a serious answer.

Why do unattractive people have, how did you put it, socially embarrassing hobbies?

The hobbies you mentioned, stamp collecting, Star Trek, Dungeons & Dragons, and umbrella handles (??) are those that would typically be considered to belong to nerds or geeks.

My guess is that these hobbies are attractive to those groups because they allow the participant to take on a new, improved identity while playing. If you're the stereotypical 95-lb weakling, but with a role of the dice can imagine yourself to be a 200 lb. marauder, then why wouldn't you do so.

If unfortunately, you let yourself become so wrapped up in the game that all you do is sit on your couch and play, then you will never develop those same physical abilities in real life and you will in fact, become the archetype of that group.

I will freely admit that as a child I collected stamps, played Dungeons and Dragons and was a huge Science Fiction fan. However, I balanced this by playing tennis, running and being socially active as well. It's all in how you balance your life.
post #47 of 106
Originally Posted by Nantucket Red
The Concise Oxford gives it as "another term for litotes." In fact, I believe it covers both bases. My second example was litotes by definition, as you mention.
Meiosis is a figure of speech that intentionally understates something or implies that it is less in significance or size than it really is. It is a form of litotes, but litotes often uses understatement to amplify the importance of something, while meiosis aims to make its subject appear smaller. For example, a lawyer defending a schoolboy who has set fire to his school might call the act of arson a "prank."
post #48 of 106
It's not the hobbies you have it's how compelling and enthousiatic you are when speaking about your passions. People tend to respond well to an individual who'se interested in what life has to offer and is inspiring in demonstrating what motivates him. I'd advise people to approach many possible hobbies with an open mind and not pass up on something because they associate a social stigma to it, in the end, hobbies will only have a positive impact on your life, your self-image and the perception of others.
post #49 of 106
Originally Posted by johnapril
pet rocks

Is that your picture in your avatar, you look sufficiently hippiish to get my full respect.
post #50 of 106
Thread Starter 
With my own self-perception of being unattractive I was reluctant to start posting on forums such as this one as I had a fear that I would be joining a subculture that could actually reinforce my own issues about attractiveness and thwart my pursuit of acceptance in greater society. Perhaps this has been the same motivation I have had over the years for shunning such activities as AD&D, science fiction conventions, or stamp collecting. Collecting things whether they are comic books, cufflinks or even shoes (beyond those being used on a yearly basis) always seemed to me like an outlet that had the possibility of making what is sometimes difficult social interaction more arduous. Certainly hobbies such as those mentioned or even posting on message boards has the distinct possibility of turning a person into a recluse; while do I realize it depends greatly on the addictive aspects of a person's personality and their overall self-image, but this scenario is not that hard to imagine at least from my perspective.
post #51 of 106
What about pen collectors?
post #52 of 106
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by LabelKing
What about pen collectors?

I would say the same about pen collectors; when they become more affluent and possibly more isolated they turn to watches. For a little while I collected fishing lures until I realized that I didn't know why as I have never had an interest in fishing.
post #53 of 106
I know it can get very obsessive with a 1968 Mercedes Benz 250SE car, which was bought without an original radio and related accessories. Of course, it had to have an original German radio, not NOS, which would have been too "new" looking but a refurbished one from the late '60s and then it had to have the appropriate amount of chrome so it was between rather expensive Beckers, Blaupunkts, Grundigs, Phillips, and Telefunkens. All the knobs had to be original too. After that, there had to be the original vintage Hirschmann red-tipped antenna installed, which was another fairly expensive addition. There was an original vintage Becker Reims 10 shortwave radio attachment.
post #54 of 106
I have some weird hobbies but the ones that I let women know about are music, cars, fitness, books, food, etc. I used to play magic: tg, I'm somewhat into anime (and have a feircely obvious Asian fetish, hopefully it's not creepy, though) About the correlation to attractiveness... no comment here. Maybe that's why I'm pretty much middle-of-the-road as far as looks go. I have some "good hobbies" and some "bad hobbies."
post #55 of 106
I think it's also a good idea to cultivate hobbies that appeal to both genders. Cooking and the culinary arts are good examples.
post #56 of 106
Cooking is something women regard as positive when talking to you but secretly they don't want you to know about it... That way you are less critical. They do love you cooking something for them if you can get across the image of a clumsy chef though in reality you are quite good at it. I know this sounds a bit sexist but women want to be the one's that have the ultimate authority in those matters...

Don't mention that you have a penchant for good clothes- most women find it interesting but think you are a lot more critical of them and other people- not good. The only way to save that situation is to say that it's more of an academical hobby much like astronomy but in reality you don't judge anyone...

Just the knowledge I've gathered from my limited experiences (I'm 19 and had my better half for about a month steadily, so take these comments cum grano salis).
post #57 of 106
Originally Posted by Brian SD
I'm somewhat into anime (and have a feircely obvious Asian fetish, hopefully it's not creepy, though)

Depends on your definition of "creepy" Brian...

Originally Posted by Bradford
If you're the stereotypical 95-lb weakling, but with a role of the dice can imagine yourself to be a 200 lb. marauder, then why wouldn't you do so.

I'm actually a stereotypical 200lb marauder. (220 actually) And occasionally I pretend I'm a 95lb hipster weakling who can wear skinny jeans. *sigh* Just so everyone is aware that the fantasy works both ways.
post #58 of 106
John Wayne Gacey had a hobby as Pogo the clown...or community service for the kiddos.

Models? Planes and cars..or maybe it was the glue I liked

I have attended a Star trek convention. A student of mine was really into it. We all ridiculed him for wearing his hand made Capt Kirk outfit to class, so we paid him a visit at the convention. I'll never forget, They had detailed blueprint plans of the space ships, they knew all the details. All I could think of was, after their convention, what a downer for these "Trekkies" to crawl back into their crappy cars held together by duct tape and drive back to their parents house..
post #59 of 106
Originally Posted by LabelKing
What about pen collectors?

As a kid, I used to find myself hanging out in the stationery section of pharmacies and department stores just gazing at the pens and paper and ink. I started questioning my sanity at a relatively young age. Much later in life I started collecting vintage and then modern fountain pens. I've restored a few of the vintage ones. It's never approached obsession. I also collect watches. These are things I use on a daily basis and don't devote an inordinate amount of attention to.

I'm not sure I'd really classify these things as hobbies and don't find them socially embarrassing. In fact, the real reason I'm into these things is that they are elements of a distinctive style, so they're the exact opposite of socially embarrassing.
post #60 of 106
I collect shares of LMOPX and Vanguard Primecap and Explorer and I plan on collecting much more.
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